Thursday, May 29, 2008


This little ditty on CNN is titled

Opposite sex drives you crazy — the causes

hrm.  Some are interesting, although number 6 is so obvious it’s moronic.  I mean - I’m sitting here watching Love Actually, for crying out loud, of COURSE women are more into chick flicks. maybe it’s because it gives us a reason to dare to dream - if we were the heroine, we’d be gorgeous, so alluring that a person as sweet as Hugh Grant pretends to be could fall head over heels for us.  Hot dang, I’m a total sucker for his stuttering accent - sure, it’s the same blasted  character he plays in every songle movie, but why change a good thing?  Rowr.

 But then the movie is over and it’s time to change a diaper and make chicken for dinner.  le sigh.

 I know God made men and women different for some very good reasons, but holy SMOKES, do we have to be that different??  Well, at least some of it can be explained by science….

____________________________________ By Joy Hepp

(LifeWire) — As Walter Christensen, a 53-year-old physics professor from Pomona, California, discovered, when it comes to cuddling, women know what they want. When he and his lover spend the night together, he’s usually awoken around 3 a.m. with a familiar request.

art.men.women.lw.gi.jpg

“She calls out, ‘Spoon, spoon!’” he says. He willingly obliges with front-to-back cuddling — even though he admits he probably wouldn’t do so without being asked.

“I like the feeling of her wanting to do that,” he says, “so I do it out of a sense of responsibility.”

His lover, 32-year-old art-history scholar Natalie Valle, appreciates the attention.

While the differences between the sexes drive some couples to distraction, being aware of them enhances relationships, as Christensen and Valle can attest. Is there hope for the rest of us? Researchers have found that science can be used to explain a lot of behavior that widens the gender gap, and in so doing may help couples understand each other better.

1. Women want to cuddle

What you think: Women love to cuddle after sex, whereas men just want to fall asleep.

What the experts say: “During sexual intercourse, oxytocin is released in both men and women, and that encourages bonding within the couple,” says Dr. Marianne J. Legato, founder of the Partnership for Gender-Specific Medicine at Columbia University and author of “Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget.”

Oxytocin is a hormone often associated with love because its levels increase during intimate acts like hugging, kissing and intercourse. However, “testosterone neutralizes the effect of oxytocin, so men are less likely to want to prolong contact after orgasm.”

2. Men hate shopping

What you think: Men hate to go shopping with their mate because they think it’s a waste of time.

What the experts say: Men do enjoy shopping when they get to “hunt” for a specific item, whereas women enjoy “grazing” for items. This goes back to our hunting and gathering days, when losing focus could mean losing the week’s meal.

“Men are much more task-oriented,” says Robert Schwarz, a psychologist and director of the Mars and Venus Counseling and Wellness Center in Haverford, Pennsylvania. “They hunt it, they kill it, they buy it and they go out.”

In the aptly titled 2007 study “Men Buy, Women Shop,” University of Pennsylvania researchers found that factors having to do with speed and convenience were the most important for men. Of the 1,250 male and female shoppers surveyed by phone, finding parking near the store or mall entrance was the No. 1 problem men said they encountered when shopping (29 percent of respondents), whereas women cited “lack of help” as their chief complaint (also 29 percent).

3. Women make mountains out of molehills

What you think: Women obsess about every little thing; men seem to have it all under control.

What the experts say: Men are problem-solvers and tend to bring up a problem only in order to search for its solution, says Schwarz. The “eureka” moment of problem-solving increases the level of dopamine, a pleasure-inducing chemical, in the brain. (This also explains why men will wait until it’s absolutely necessary to stop and ask for directions.)

Women relieve stress by talking and relating their problems to others, which produces serotonin, said to enhance moods and ward off depression.

4. Men are impervious to cold

What you think: Men are content to freeze, while women always want to turn up the thermostat.

What the experts say: According to the Mayo Clinic, women are more sensitive to cold than men are, but not because they like to feel warm and cozy. Because women on average are smaller than men, their metabolic rate tends to be lower. This means their bodies generate less heat. They also tend to have less fat, which acts as insulation, on their upper bodies and around their waists, as well as less muscle mass, which also helps keep the body warm.

5. Women Love ‘chick flicks’

What you think: Women prefer romantic movies (aka “chick flicks”) while men like action and adventure.VideoWatch how troops like chick flicks »

What the experts say: Women may like romantic movies better than men, but in a 2007 study at Kansas State University, men rated romantic movies “higher than most people would have guessed,” says psychology professor Richard Harris, who led the survey of 265 Kansas State students. On a scale of 1 to 7, men gave the movies a 4.8, while women rated them a 6.

However, “we found that when seeing the film on a date … if one party makes the decision, then they stay true to those stereotypes, with guys choosing to go to a violent film and women choosing a romantic film,” Harris told the Reuters news agency in January.

Jose Ferraro can relate. He spent New Year’s Day at the theater, dozing through the romantic drama “Atonement” with his wife, Kyle.

“She tricked me into going,” says the 44-year-old engineer from Yorba Linda, California.

His wife, Kyle, a 49-year-old fitness instructor, fesses up: “I said there was some fighting in it,” she admits.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008



Okay, does sleeping with your spouse drive anyone else as bonkers as me??  (Not THAT “sleeping”, that just dandy)  But the having to try sooo dang had to be still all night so I won’t wake him up, no spreading out and relaxing because I’m terrified I’ll punch him in the face - and don’t laugh, I’ve actually done it in my sleep!  GAH!!!!

Flooopy

Helloooooo outside world!  I’m sitting about, letting WonderToddler get her Little Einsteins on.  That show is bleeping AWESOME.

I am suffering from constipation brain.  Ever have it?  It’s when you have to make big decisions and you are so worried about making the wrong one and unsure about what to do, that you don’t tell anyone about them, and just hold it inside all scared and freaked out until the last possible second and finally do something and everyone ends up thinking you are  flake but you are just a scaredy-cat in need of help but know you are supposed to be responsible and if you DID ask for advice or help, the person you’d ask help from would just make you feel bad about how you are procrastinating, even though you have worried and fretted about it secretly and it’s just so dang HARD for you to make big decisions and ask help when there is a very good chance you’ll be rejected and you just can’t handle rejection as well as you wsh you could and dang it, you try super hard to get better at it but just the thought of it can paralyze you sometimes and you end up being constipated in the brain, unable to talk to ANYone about what you are worried about.

I’d rather be gassy.  I’d rather have a sunburn.  I’d rather …  I’d rather not be the kind of person that is such a blasted pansy. 

I AM the kind of person who needs to stop blogging and get started on clearing a path from the living room to the kitchen so I can make dinner.  And I AM the kind of person who is so mess that yes, an actual PATH needs to be cleared to get from one room to another something. 

Oh man, I so need a cleaning lady, personal assistant and nanny (for me). 

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Shallow isn't as bad as it looks...

Every now and then I wake up with a mission.  A shallow mission.  Some tiny thing that I have decided will make my life better, one piece of make-up/clothing/toy at a time.  It’s sad how easily I am amused and/or apeased, but it comes in super handy. Just ask SexyHusband, who has managed to calm down his psychotic wife with a single box of Junior Mints.

Lately, my hair has been driving me nuts.  It’s grown out a bit since my last haircut and the regrowth of my highlights makes me want to pull them out every time I look in the mirror.  So Friday I got the BRILLIANT idea to dye my hair!  Go blonde again!  Yes, get some hair dye and just do it!  Surprise SexyHusband!  Be spontaneous!

 It didn’t happen like I’d planned though… it actually made my hair darker.  Or at least, uniformly a warmer brown that it had been.  It was good actually, buch better than it had looked before - but I was still disappointed.  I had planned on being all blonde and different to surprise SH, but I wasn’t.  Insert pointless and useless pity party here.

To give SH a heads up to why I would be a emotional wreck later on, I IM-ed him and told him of my plight.  Then I rushed all over town getting things ready to drop off WonderTodler with his parents so we could go on a date.  But, as it always is with trying to get things ready with a toddler, it is infuriating and takes forever.  I really wanted to stop at the Dolr Store and grab some candy for the movie, but time was getting tight… oh, and my hair was still making me mad.

*sidenote* you know what drives me CRAZIEST about parenting??  When WT comes up to me, begs for her pacifier or a cup, I give it to her, and then 10 minutes later she’s lost it and is screaming for it again.  ARG!!  So I run around the house yelling “WHERE DID YOU PUT IT??” but she has no idea what I’m saying.  AAARRRGG!!!!

So by the time I had WT ready and had gone to pick up SH from work (he’d ridden his scooter and there was an unexpected rainstorm - we weren’t suposed to get rain until next week!) I was in a foul, unhappy mood.  And yet, I KNEW it was for completely stupid reasons - so my hair didn’t turn out how I’d expected, it still looked way better than it had, and so I didn’t get candy, BIG WHOOP.  And we were rushing and might be late to the movie… worse things have happened.  But it had been so long since we’d been to a movie… I just wanted to have felt different, all sexy with my blonde self.

SH was undeterred though, and pushed on, dropped off WT and faced traffic to get to the movies.  He was so sweet, and let me vent for a second, then asked me to get his laptop out of his backpack and look at a picture he’d pulled up on the web -

Huh?  What was this?   “You sounded so upset and you had wanted a change, so I looked around the web to see if I could help.  I think you could look good in a haircut like this.”

All of the sudden, my weepy, disappointed mood flipped over.  You know how amazing is feels to have your husband go looking for something so girlish and simple, just to try and solve your little problem and help you be happy again?

I *heart* my husband.

The date went so fabulous after that.  It felt like we were an actual couple again - like when we went on dates every Friday when we were newlyweds.  Thanks to Jane, we have a giftcard from Christmas to the movie theater, and it was such a treat to sit there, snacking on my pretzel and slushie, snuggling next to my hubby, who was happy because he’d made me happy.  THANK YOU JANE!!!

Like I said, my shallowness is a good thing.  All I needed was a little attention and some snacks and I was gooood to go.  You should have seen how hott I was todya at church - I’m experimenting with my hair and makeup, and I feel all giddy to be having fun with it.  Sigh… I wish I wasn’t so shallow, but being able to have the little things make me so blissfully happy?  Priceless.

Thursday, May 22, 2008



No-good-very-bad-day.

I tried taking WonderToddler to the park to play, but there was some kind of funeral service there and it was full of cop cars.  So I stopped by a friend’s place who has a swing set and tried to let her play, but instead she pooped a poo of such monumental proportions that it covered places of her that poo does not normally go.  OOOOOO the joys of motherhood.

Then off to my yoga class while SexyHusband takes her for lunch - my one treat of the week that I haven’t been able to go to in 2 weeks… after 20 minutes of sitting outside the studio I decided the teacher wasn’t coming.  So I took a walk around a Target and tried to find  pair of comfy capris I could to bed that won’t make me look like my butt is 13 times larger than it actually is (what with my current jammies making me suicidal every time I glance at the mirror).  No luck.

And now I get to look forward to a loverly confrontation with one of my students moms who thinks she can push me around.  Which she can’t.  But it shall suck nonetheless.

Did I mention that since I’m driving SH crazy complaining about my flabby tummy, he has offered me $100 if I do 50 pushups a day for a few weeks, them 100 for a few more?  So I can have a flat tummy and stop irritating him by talking about it nonstop.

Not every day can be a winner. 

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

In case you felt dumb today...

just think of my dear husband’s latest move. There was a tornado just north of us last night, and the rain was pourin’ something fierce.  As it subsided, something clicked in his brain and he ran out in the backyard and grabbed his work laptop off one of the chairs.  It was dripping and had turned itself off.  No, it won’t work agian, but he opened it all up and let it sit in front of a fan all night - and people, he saved the hard drive! 

The best part?  It wasn’t my fault!!  Everything dumb at this house is caused by yours truly, and SexyHusband is nice enough to not make me feel like a moron about it- but oooo, something dumb happened that wasn’t caused by me!!  WOOHOO!!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Back to the grindstone

How about a good, old-fashioned blog about the mundane in my life?  Wooho, blogging old school!

We’ve been stricken ill in the RockStar house - last week WonderToddler and I awoke monday morning sick, and proceeded to lay around the house until Saturday (okay, a brief trip to Target on Tuesday before I realized how weak we were).  Sexy Husband got sick Thursday and so there was no one to baby me during my convalesencesjdmhuhfkdfd.  I am barely back to normal, but a dab of make-up today and I feel like a new woman.  Well, except for all that gunk coming out of my face. 

Remember the bit about me needing a new name for my celtic trip?  The reason is, we have a pretty nifty festival gig coming up and we want to put our best foot forward.  It’s different than most of our gigs - when we get offers for gigs with the BorderCollies, it’s because of their reputation.  They were around before me, and even though we are super awesome right now, the history does good stuff for getting gigs. 

Well, the Collies got offered the festival, but not everyone can do it, so we suggested the trio instead (2 Collies, plus an outsider).  The powers that be heard our demos and wrote the most flattering things about our sound - me included - and invited us whole heartedly.  It’s such a rush to get some recognition for my own work - just a small little thing, but I’m 13 kinds of puffed up and feeling all good about myself this week because of it!

But… UG - the promo picture that got sent of us was the most horrible, unflattering shot you’ve ever seen of yours truly. I looked like this lumpy Amazonian (the other 2 are a bit shorter than me).  I shiver to even think of it.  That and my highlights are growing out -as well as my hair style - and I’m starting to look like a clueless housewife.  Which I am.  But we do try to ignore that fact.

I think I need a small makeover.  And… well, a haircut?  I don’t know - I am starting to think I need to grow it out.  I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not one of those people who can wear cute short funky hairstyles.  Well, I can - if someone else styles it for me.  On my own, I’m just a clueless dork.  Although, you’ll be proud to know, I finally (kind of) figured out eyeliner, woohoo!

Boring enough for you?  I can always come up with drama if you want, but today I’m trying to keep it to a minimum.  Niiiiice and shallow.

 …. Oooo, I do have something funny to share!  I’ve been trying to make friends, right?  I mean, I don’t even know my neighbors!  I found this online mommy thing for Atlanta, so I joined up and have been meeting e-people in the area - I went to a activty once, too.  I have a profile up, and the other day I got an e.mail from someone in the group - she wanted to know if I lived in the B%^& subdivision, because she was pretty sure she was my neighbor - and she IS!  I haven’t met her yet because of having the plague and all, but imagine - I can’t meet people in real life, but then I meet my NEIGHBOR on the web?  Carrrraaaazayyyy!!

Okay, I’m off to bed, and since I’ve probably bored you all sleepy, you should probably take a nap too.  Tchau!

Thursday, May 15, 2008



Good mommy for the day - sometimes - they’ll actually.  eat. DINNER!!!!

What's in a (band) name?

I needs help, people. My celtic trio is in need of a new name… like, today, and I can’t for the life of me think of one. I like band names like The Charms, Solas, Oisre, The Cardigans, Bad Haggis, Flogging Molly, but finding one that fits our sound is though.

It’s the three of us, two chicks and the world’s most awesome guitarist. I thought maybe I coul find some cool Gaelic word with the Gaelic dictionary, and that’s a start, but I need a word that describes us and is also not completely confusing. (You can check out our Myspace here.)

Ideas? Puleeeze? Thanks!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008



To remind me (and y’all) of the good moments motherhood has to bring, I’m going to (try to) post a picture a day of something good/heartwarming/amusing/not bad from that day.

 Our first moment was the wonder in WT’s eyes as she discovered her first inchworm making its way up the house today. All green and inchie.  I tried to put it on my finger so she could see it inching even closer, but my fear of bugs won out.  I don’t think she minded.

Sick.

WT and I both have colds. The icky all over, sore throaty, mucusy coughs kind of cold - and the kind where every time I hear the tiniest sneeze, I have to rush over to her with a tissue because she tends to get curious about the stuff spewing out of her face.  EW.

Days like this get me thinking.  Thankfully, PBS is there to pick up the slack.  Yay educational television!  WT loves it when the TV asks her what letter it is and shouts out “EEEEEEMMMMMM” or whatever with gusto, then does a happy dance.

The time is rapidly approaching that I’m supposed to think about having another one.  SexyHubby has started complaining about his advanced age, and as much as I don’t want to be pregnant or touch another newborn ever again, it’s too late for that.  I had one, and by so doing I commited to the whole ball of wax.  That means siblings.  That’s just how I roll.  I loved it, and I know WT needs it.  End of discussion.

Except now I know that having another one means commiting to:

*9 months of random vomiting in the car

*Being so sick I have to crawl instead of walk around the house 

*Gaining weight

*Childbirth (ARG!!!)

*Not looking in the mirror for at least 6 months (the day after I gave birth I saw my naked body in the mirror and passed out) 

*Then another year of smelling like rancid milk/puke

*No sleep

*The screaming (both of us - ulp - but now 3 of us)

*Post partum depression that doesn’t quit

They aren’t cute for the first few months, and they really do nothing but sit there making trouble.  I know it eventually gets better, and I know I just have to suck it up, with full knowledgu that my life will just be really, really bad for about a year and then it will be a little better. Not back to good, but enough of an improvement from horrible and sleep depravation to make me think things are okay again.

Knowing how bad it gets is enough for me to consider purchasing a chastity belt.   I ask moms all the time about how they handle the pregnancy/newborn stage, and they all smile this kind smile and say it passes.  I do it myself too - and now I know what the smile says.  ”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so I’m just going to smile and watch you do it!”

I love the line from Malcom in the Middle -

“You want to know what the best thing about childhood is? At some point it stops.”

I just have to survive babyhood till they get to childhood.  And we all know how that went last time.  Arg.

Yes, I am fully aware many of you use this blog as birth control.  You’re welcome.  Also, I know that I can use the “it won’t be as bad this time!” excuse… but I have a feeling.  My life has a way of bouncing me around….



(via garfieldminusgarfield)

Monday, May 12, 2008



That’s my mom with my baby.  I hear being a Grandma is fun, but only because you get to enjoy a wee one with the knowledge that you aren’t responsible.  That feeling must rock.

I woke up yesterday morning pretty excited about my day.  I am starting to feel like a mom, as opposed to my first Mother’s Day when I just felt like a caterer.  I ended my day feeling like a mom, but not in the good way.  Poor WonderToddler is teething and is a grumpy, ouchie mess.  She screamed at me most of the day… and then when we were apart she screamed for me.  Then screamed to get away from me… she didn’t get the memo that said she was supposed to fawn all over me and worship me.  Curses.

Then she woke up sick, and I in turn feel cruddy.  Although the upshot to all this is that she’s super cuddly when she’s sick, and I’m loving every minute of it.  I may let her eat more stuff off the ground more often…

Go hug a mom today.  It’s back to the grindstone, and we need all the hugs we can get.



carlovely:

theoriginaljoefisher:

Novelties: When Specialty Plates Go Hilariously Wrong

Thursday, May 8, 2008



How the HECK did he talk me into letting him buy this, and how the HECK did I end up looking like a soccer mom???

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


A friend of mine just told me about her blog today, and while perusing it I found this wee gem - watch the video of Jeff’s mom describing …. the day he was born.  I swear, it made me pee my pants a little it’s so flippin’ hilarious!!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008



I walked into Wal-mart today to get some goop to put under my eyes to try and not look so blasted tired all the time, and walked out with 6 pairs of shoes.  But seriously - how can you walk by a bin filled with these shoes and a sign that says Clearance - $2 and NOT buy as many as you can in as many sizes for your wee one that you can find??  I got one red pair for her cousin, then 2 in red and 2 in black and one in silver.  She’ll have glitter shoes for at least 3 years!

Today is looking like a good day so far!

PS -  Did I mention that we got a DVR last week?  This might also explain my decent mood.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Sleepy, head hurts a tad, but I haven’t been bloggety in a few days, don’t even know how y’all are doing, but I feel I must at least reconnect.

First thought: A good dinner guest comes over.  A great dinner guest brings ice cream.  A FABUOUS dinner guest brings ice cream AND brownies!  Oh, and regales you with awesome stories about nuclear power and cool planes - thanks Russ!  (yeah Elizabeth, THAT Russ!)

 Second:  I am FINALLY getting around to getting Christmas presents for people.  Last Christmas with the funeral and everything, I just decided to wait until I could get my brains back together.  Now I’ve decided that will never happen, and I’m going about getting Christmas presents anyway.  And you know what I’m suddenly hooked on??  Etsy!  Handmade gifts, one of a kind??  SO blasted cool.  Tell me what your favorite Etsy finds are, I’m dying to find more!

Third: WonderToddler has been absolutely adorable and an absolute pain at the same time today.  Weird.

Hrm.. that’s all I gots so far.  Off to bed.  MMMwha!



(via garfieldminusgarfield)

They take Garfield out and show John for who is is.  Nutjob.  And I lOVE the suit.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Reasons why my life rocks today:

My child is insanely smart, adorable and has even said “thank you” without prompting 4 times in the last 2 days.

Lunch in the park with daddy, plus I found a spot in the shade with no other people around!

Found a swimsuit so perfect I could hardly sleep last night.  I don’t even shop for suits - the last one I got was 4 years ago for crying out loud.  But Mandi just got one and insisted I try it out and I was AMAZED I could look that good in a swim suit! The trick is 1. Skirt bottoms - I thought it would look dumb too, but honestly, that’s a part of a woman’s body that a normal suit does no favors for and the skirt looks SUPER hott, and 2. a halter neck that takes the attention away from my creepy shoulders and in towards my neck.  I may never take it off.

We have a party to go tomorrow with SexyHubby’s friends!  That means a social event around other people!!  And since they are SH’s friends, he’ll be in a good mood!  We don’t do much socially, and my friends always tend to weird him out.  Yay for other humans!!

It’s FRIDAY!  No lessons to teach, no anythings to rush off to, just happy time with baby. 

I think there may be a jaunt to Savannah in my summer. That’s the coolest place ever!

I really do feel like I have a grasp on this parenting thing.  Sabrina was right - some people just don’t do the baby stage.  I’m much happier wtih toddler-hood.  Hey, Queen Victoria didn’t want to even see her kids until they were 18, so I figure I’m still good.

Why does your life rock today?

EAT THIS

Can I just vent for a second? My full time occupation is Worrier in Chief.  I worry.  Sometimes I wonder what it's like to have normal...