Monday, December 29, 2008

Pregnant hit with a vengance on Christmas and I’ve been EXHAUSTED, too tired to move, but we have some of favoritest people in the world visiting (the parents, kid brother) so we finally left the house today for some sightseeing.  I’ve have guilt because I’ve been too tired to take enough pictures of the festivities of the sweason, but as I waited in the huge World of Coke lobby for my parents today, I thought I’d take a picture of how I actually feel. 


Saturday, December 27, 2008

crap, it bites!!

I managed to abstain from the crazy - I watched the madness with unbiased eyes.  I was proud of myself for not becoming a pop-culture drone for one blasted time in my life.

And then a certain sexy husband bought me this for Christmas:

NO, I did not ask for it.  He just knew, given my Harry Potter mania, that it was probably up my alley.  I was able to hold out for a day - I said , “Huh, lookit that.  It’s a book.”  And I was on my merry way.   But last night while my parents suddenly got really into some stupid marathon on Animal Planet about these hippies on a ship trying to save some whales, I thought to myself “Let’s just see how the first page looks.”

Crap.  I couldn’t stop - mostly because I’m a compulsive reader and mostly because I am a speed reader - I read the whole thing last night, minus the last chapter because poor hubby has to be in bed before 11 or his arms will fall off.  Dang it!!  I was so proud for not getting sucked in before - yes it’s laughably written and I’m pretty sure it’s about the level I could have written (“He always looked like he’d just finished filming a commercial for hair gel.”  ????) but dang if it isn’t HOTT!!!!  Crapola, I was so turned on and SexyHusband wouldn’t come near me because I had this crazed look in my eyes where I will most likely bite him and he’s not much into being bitten.  This Stephanie Meyer is SO definately the Mormon because whooo doggies, she perfectly captured that electricity between two young peoples who would most likely be shagging it up if it were not for the powerful influence of our knowledge of the law of chastity and such.  MAN do I know that electricity!  DANG it was hott!!!!!

Oh yeah, and there’s something about vampires or ghosts or something in the book too.


Friday, December 26, 2008

Scroll down to read this 3 part Christmas tear-jerker.  I say tear-jerker because I was laughing so hard I cried while my mom had the same look on her face that she had after watching Nacho Libre last week. :)

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I don't want to go into it

I really don’t.  I’ll just give the highlights… well, they are more like LOWlights.  Not my greatest hour.

Pregnant woman and her mom drive down to the south side of Atlanta to pick up world’s awesomest younger brother.  On the way home, pregnant woman decided if she does not eat a Krystal burger (these insanely addictive, disgusting White Castle knock-offs but with a pickle) she will die.  She she takes an exit about to 2 miles from the airport to go find one.

Did you know 2 miles from the airport is slightly SEEDY??

Poor pregnant chick didn’t.  She when she tried to turn into said Krystal and had almost completely made it into the driveway, some moron decided to take a left turn into HER.  She avoided most damage and he just scratched her wheel. 

But here’s where the story gets cloudly.  You don’t even want to know what her mom said to the thug, or his friends in the multiple SUVs behind him who were shouting “WHY YOU HIT HIM???  WHY YOU HIT HIM??”  At that point, since the idiot driver at fault and had actually done some damage to his own car and the poor pregnant woman’s car was fine, and they kept insisting it was HER fault.. hrm, maybe I shouldn’t divulge anymore.  

Suffice to say, as I made my getaway with 3 hysterical members of my family in the car, I found I had lost my appetite for horrible food and gained a taste for LIFE. 

By the way… IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Horray for being alive!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

grrrr, embed tag won’t work.  Scandalous sent me this about how stuuuupid all the jewelry commercials are this time of year.  Go watch this anyway, it will make you giggle:)

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The process of knowing

8am on a Saturday… all was quiet in the house… and then my brain woke me up.

hrumphthhh.  I don’t feel so good.  What the heck is that?  Heartburn??  Man, the last time I had heartburn was…


Are there any pregnancy tests in the bathroom????  Just one left, alright… okeeeee, so the instructions say one horizontal line means no, but a horizontal PLUS a vertical line means yes.  But I can’t even really see anything.  IF I squint I see both lines, but the test doesn’t say anything about squinting. 

“SexyHusband - wake up and read this!  Can you see two lines??”  SH rolled over in bed, opened one eye, and agreed it was impossible to figure out. 

“Go get one of those expensive ones that tells you 5 days sooner,” he said as he rolled back over.

So imagine the visual here - I’m in my PJs, in my glasses, checking out of the Walgreens with Tums and a pregnancy test.  The checkout guy was a saint and did NOT make any comments or stupid winks.  I was prepared to punch him if necessary.  One or more frantic calls to a very sleepy Danielle may have occured.

When I got back home, WonderToddler was up and I discovered in the fine print on the test that you shouldn’t drink a whole lot of water beforehand or it will mess with the results.  Well dang, I already um… tapped my kidneys that morning, my reserves were low!  So I had one cup of water and perched myself on my throne, thinking hard about about wallerfalls… rivers.. lakes…

“Daddy, what Mommy doing?”

“She’s trying to go peepee in the potty.”

With that WonderToddler ran into the bathroom, and started cheering “You can do it Mommy, you can do it!”  It was so blasted adorable.  And effective!

I sat down on the floor next to SH and watched the binking hour glass on the digital readout on the test.  I spent the cash and got the digital because I didn’t want deal with any more of those screwy lines.

“Do you think I really could be?  If I do the math right, I’m pretty sure I can’t be.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

And we sat while WT ran around us in circles yelling.  Then *pop* - the word appeared on the screen.

My reation: “WHAT?????”

His reaction: arms over head “YESSSS!!  I DID IT!!!!”

WT’s reaction: “I’m gonna be a big sister!!”

3 hours later, I had the stomach flu.  Talk about a buzzkill.  But, buzz is back on… more about that later.

Thanks for the well wishes!!!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

good things can come in tall packages

 I am tall. Not scary tall, but I can reach stuff on the top shelf and see over people’s heads at the movies. It’s a good thing.

A few years ago when I was dating I had a few boyfriends who were baaarely taller than me actually request I wear flats. They didn’t want to look short. Even though they were. Gah, I felt so bad about my body and it contributed to my crazy weight loss problems. I never cared about their height - I knew I needed someone so awesome on the inside that if I got caught up on a few inches I was shooting myself in the foot.

Then, I got lucky enough to meet a guy who loved me, put up with me, made me happy, the whole deal. He even tricked me into marrying him, so that was cool. In 4 inch inch heels, I’m the taller one, but he loves it and makes me feel like a goddess.  He adores my body, and in turn, so do I.  Dang I’m a lucky girl.

So to the teenaged girl who came up to me last Sunday at church while I was talking to my sexy husband in my almost-as-sexy Italian purple crocodile stilletos and yelled aghast - “You’re taller than your husband in those!” like I had committed some crime agains fashion - you poor thing.  So sad you think your attractiveness is contingent on being shorter than a guy - SO thankful my husband loves my long limbs :)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

tender mercies

Today marks one year since Megan’s passing.  One thing that routinely hits me is something Elder Benar spoke of a few conferences ago - the Lord’s tender mercies.  The little blessings Heavenly Father gives us while we’re struggling through the big stuff.  We lost a wife, a sister, a mother, a friend, and along the way, we’ve gained friends and family and seen service and love I could never have imagined.

I’m amazed at the growth and acceptance I’ve seen in my family this year, and it has strengthened and taught me muchly.  I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone, but I wouldn’t want to go through anything like this without my amazing family.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

This is the closest I can get to putting my foot behind my head today.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Stacy's Mom Has Got it Goin' On...?

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Go ahead.  Talk me out of it.  Everytime I stumble on Heather Bailey’s blog and all of her craftety-craftness I see her Trash Ties and I COVET them.

There’s something about fancy hair do-dads… and these look so blasted fun to mess with.  I haven’t gone out and gotten myself any.  Yet.  But I WANT to.  The coveting thing.  Although if you are my mom and are thinking YOU’D like to go ahead and get me some, I would not punch you in the face. 

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Trying to keep hydrated.  The plague that has plagued our WT, then the SH, has now hit me.  My stomach actually sounds like it is boiling pasta.  Seriously.  I asked SH if that kept him up last night, but he said me rolling around going “owww - I’m dying OWWW!!” did the trick.

So I have a question for y’all, but you have to be crypic or message me elsewhere (facebook?  we’re ALL on facebook!) since SH reads my blog.  We’re doing our 2nd Annual Tacky Gift competition this year and I really, REALLY don’t know how to top last year’s gift: 

Yeah, that’s right, a DANCING Jar Jar Binks.  At least a foot tall too - that irritating Rasta alien from Star Wars - doing a BOOGIE (his own words) to the Cantina Song.  It did backfire because now, WT LOVES playing with it.  SO ANNOYING.  Totally worth it to see SH throw up in his mouth a little when he opened the box.  But what could compare??  SH got me not only a tacky but incredibly un-PC tie pin last year that I would rather NOT repeat on the web.  He’s apparently giddy with how bad his gift for me is this year, but I am still out of ideas for his.  The limit this time is $5.  My only idea so far is to buy him some Sour Cream and Onion dip and then say “Oh, you don’t like Sour Cream and Onion Dip??  I’ll eat it for you!!”  One of my brothers may or may not have tried to pull this off many years ago by giving me little army men figures and then offered to take them off my hands if I didn’t love them.  Smart kid, but mom was smarter.  She made him take them back.

So any ideas?  SH - you are BANNED from reading the coments, y’hear?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Days that rock:

New Razor Day (woohooo!  Smoothety-smooth!!)

New Toothbrush Day (squeaky clean!!)

New Laptop Day (seriously!!  RED!!!!  WEBCAM!!!)

WonderToddler-Likes-Me Days (“Mommy you are a GENIUS!!”)

Days That Are All Of The Above (that would be today!)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I took this picture with my NEW COMPUTER.  THAT HAS A WEBCAM IN IT. 

AND.  IT.  IS.  RED.  !!!!!!!!

This post is dedicated to my super SexyHusband who bought me this awesome amazing RED laptop with a functioning battery pack  (!!!!!) because I dropped my last one and now it won’t start anymore.

This was so incredibly gernerous, and I am so grateful .  I also am thinking I shouldn’t tell him I dropped my phone at the grocery store today and it is sporatically turning itself off.

Does anyone else notice that I take every self portrait in the bathroom?  This is the only room with a mirror AND adequate lighting.  You’d think that would be motivation to clean it once in a while… 


Why is it that people feel comfortable telling me that I look “too skinny” and “sick”? And then it seems rude for me to say back to them that their thighs look like they’ll need their own zip code soon?  They’re fat so their bodies are off limits but I’m skinny, so they can criticize it with impunity?

FYI: I eat, and I’m super healthy. I didn’t even get the stomach flu from WT last week.  (I’m not anywhere in shape, but that isn’t the only part to being healthy is it?). 

What a silly American I am.

Monday, December 1, 2008


Okay, I lost it at the end of NaBloPoMo.  The stress was too much and I got soooo super busy - my AMAZING SIL Jane orchestrate the greatest suprise in the hisory of parties (check out her blog for more specifics)- I’m in Colorado, and have been since Thanksgiving - and yesterday when my mom came home from a vacation in Hawaii (the whole turning 60 thing) she was greeted with ALL her kids and grandchildren!!  We came from everywhere - Atlanta, Kentucky, New York, the west coast, and ust down the street.  We almost gave her a heart attack (we were seriously worried about that) and even managed after that surprise - to give her ANOTHER surprise, a party given by her friends.

Ug, the biggest thing EVER and I couldn’t blog about it!!!  Mom checks by here every so often and I did NOT want to ruin the surprise.  Couldn’t blog about the plane ride with the WT AND my husband - the greatest gift ever - Thanksgiving dinner with all my brothers, all the super fun, and WT’s stomach flu that kept us up all Satruday night.  And it was the most prefectly kept secret - things were threatening to give us all up even seconds before she got home (picture the lady across the street carefully making her way over the snow and ice to our house seconds before mom was to arrive, and my oldest brother rushing up and down the driveway with a shovel to cover her tracks) - but in the end, seeing her cry from joy brought my own tears pouring out and makes this one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever been a part of.

So yeah, the last 3 days I haven’t even had a second to sit in front of a computer and blog.  Good excuse I think.  Anywho, happy happy December to you!!

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...