Tuesday, February 25, 2014

instead of sleeping

Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Probably because it's 4:55am. I probably should have seen you since I've been awake since 3 and my eyes should be so used to the dark that I should be able to see like I'm wearing night vision goggles. My brain won't hush up. Blarrrrg. I tried listening to General Conference talks, but that just woke me up even more. 

You guys, I need spring in the worst way. I don't even like spring because it's all mushy out and I never have rain boots for me and the kids at the same time, but I'll take anything at this point. This winter has been so brutal in so many ways it needs. to. stop. 

Sooooo cold. I've never had so much cold in my entire life. The wind chill has been below 0 so often that the kids rarely get recess outside.  We had days like that last year, but they were a handful in January. This year the carnage started right after Thanksgiving. I'm done, just DONE. 

It didn't help that the husband had a migraine for the month of January and a Thing 3 started walking in December. The poor guy wants to explore, and he's never walked outside because his toes would fall off. 

But on the positive - he's going to be one year old next week. Did we seriously survive a year already?!  I shouldn't celebrate just yet because his current obsession is to climb into the dishwasher and hug all of the knives, or reach into high drawers and even the counters and get All The Things. Who can blame him? The world us full of amazing discoveries and there are violins everywhere, if he could just get on a chair to reach one.

It's handy that he loves all humans and will quickly forgive the mean ones that snatch away pencils or other fun pointy things that he has found and is trying to stick in his eye while sprinting across the house. Because those smiles - agh!  They slay, really. People fight over who gets to hold him at church while I'm racing around because he will flirt with all the humans. And sometimes the piano. 

But he is asleep and I am awake, having panic attacks about every possible thing. The topics include:

I played violin in church on Sunday and I really dislike doing that for many reasons.  This time I was insane enough to play unaccompanied so I had no place to hide if my bow arm started shaking, which it did. I was blessed to have the strength to keep it on the string, but it's just traumatic, y'all. Still freaking out over that one. 

We have a church thing where I have somehow been put in charge of Mod Podging. The fails have been epic and I have to get this right by Thursday. Save me, internet tutorials!!

I am raising the Dude. 'Nuff said. 

Even though she's doing great, I still worry about the choice to put her ahead a grade. Did I make the wrong choice?  I know I didn't, and she loves not having to be taught separately from the other kids anymore, but the first graders just did a pottery thing in art that she missed out on so there's a good chance this trauma will haunt her for the rest of her life. Or me, whatever. 

Did I mention I'm raising the Dude? His current obsessions are maps and poison ivy. You haven't lived until a 4 year old crawls onto your lap and asks you to tell him all about deadly plants. 

It's 5:40am now, so I guess I could hit the showers. Tuesday, please be kind. 

Thanks for listening, interwebs!!

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