GPOYW

- "quiet time" - edition.  It's a myth.  A MYTH.

POOP.

I keep waiting for a instagram-to-blogger app since most of us bloggers have migrated over to instagram, but no luck so far (you hear that, tech gurus?? Untapped market!).

Until then,  I'll just screen-cap some. Which is kind of useless,  since most of you follow me on instagram anyway.

But this one is worthy of seeing over and over and over. I was obsessively going over the alphabet with Thing 3 (I admit I'm a total loon)  when he turns to me and says "poop."  No joke. And his diaper was empty,  so I asked him if he wanted to go to the potty. He said yes,  which is in itself  a big deal since he only just recently branched out from "no" as his sole vocab word.

And then yes,  the ONE YEAR OLD POOPED ON THE POTTY. IT WAS MAGICAL. I totally Skyped the husband right then and screamed "POOPOO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" a bunch of times. I'm pretty sure he was in a meeting because I heard laughing in the background,  but I have no regrets.

I don't expect this to be the norm,  but even once was enough to make my winter day less awful. Have I mentioned how over negative temps I am?? Cuz yeah.

But seriously. Get on that app,  nerds.

hairy

For a multitude of reasons, I haven't had a decent haircut or color since before Thing 3.  He's turning 2 in less than a month.  And it's like my hair has gone feral.  So Saturday night, it finally dawned on me to turn to Pinterest.  A quick search for "DIY hair cut" yielded a ridiculous amount of pins.  Apparently that's a thing you can do.  Like, it's my hair, right?  Why did I never think of this?

So I woke up Sunday morning, waited until the husband was out of the bathroom so he wouldn't witness it and laugh at me.  Maybe he wouldn't.  I'm a 13 year old girl when it comes to this stuff.  Anywho, TA-DAH!!!

I'm going with Not Horrible.  Then I got so excited I cut some layers into WonderGirl's hair at those look even More Not Horrible.

So now... Pinterest?  I admit I've searched for some DIY color options...  haven't pulled the trigger yet.  At this point all those fire engine red options are looking miiightly tempting...

constant craving....

Women always worry about turning into their mothers when they get older.  Me?  I worry about turning into Mad-Eye Moody.

Or Barty Crouch Jr. on polyjuice potion pretending to be Mad-Eye.  Whatever.

Ahem.  NERDS RULE.  Ahem.

Seriously - Thing 3 is turning my hair grey.  I actually have a grey hair and even though that may actually be from being 35, I blame it squarely on him.  He is TERRIFYING.  You turn your head for one second and he's cheerfully playing with knives on the counter.  YES THAT HAPPENED.  He's in the bathroom, putting his sibling's toothbrushes in the toilet.  He's eating glue sticks.  My deodorant.  Carrying a massive jug of olive oil around the house.  Drawing on my walls even though we have hidden all the pencils.  HE FINDS THEM.  Stealing his dad's work iPhone even though I keep telling the husband to stop plugging it in on his bedside table because Thing 3 knows it's there.  Ripping up library books.  Steals my contacts case and tries to eat it EVERY DAY. Fishing pancakes out of the trash and rubbing them into the carpet. Stealing EVERY CUP IN THE HOUSE.  Then pouring the water EVERYWHERE.  He's a crazed cup thief - I'm his nursery leader, so I know.  He has a cup in front of him and he goes for everyone else's every single time. Then throwing up somewhere random.  JUST BECAUSE.

These all happen.  Daily.  And that's not even a tenth of it all.  He's so flipping adorable that he's managed to stay alive, but I can't let my guard down.  The poor Dude is soooo over him, and I feel terrible about it, but you can hardly blame him.  How would you feel if a rabid 1 year old spent most of his awake time trying to attack you or destroy everything you hold dear?

CONSTANT.  VIGILANCE.

Were my other kids this scary?  I was in a PPD haze for most of WonderGirl's first few years and a good portion of the Dude's, so I don't trust my memory.  Do you guys remember?

I took this picture a few days ago and I have no idea why he did this, but he kind of looks like he's attempting a Mad-Eye look.  He's not, by-the-by.  I have strict non-disclosure policies about Harry Potter in these parts.

No spoilers.  When he reads Harry Potter, it'll be fresh.  I made WG watch all the movies in hiding when she was reading HP last summer.  He's a flipping sponge.

But seriously, guys.  CONSTANT. VIGILANCE.

GPOYW

Awkward-selfies-are-my-new-hobby edition.

winter blergrffffffff

HAPPY TUESDAY.

It is dark outside and there is snow everywhere and I can't peel out into traffic because the roads haven't been plowed properly and SOMEONE GO FIND ELSA AND BRING BACK SUMMER.