Monday, May 18, 2015

sweet release

Yesterday, in anticipation of our move, the hubs was released as bishop of our ward.  Of course, I bawled all morning. I was unprepared for the mad rush of feels for the ways he has been strengthened and we have been blessed.  I also didn't realize how chaotic the norm had been until after the meeting was all over.  It's hard to explain, but I'd gotten used to not having a husband at church. I don't mean that in a negative way - I learned that the best thing I could do for him was to stay back and give him space to let him do what he needed to do.  In the process, I was crazy blessed with help from those around me.

And then all of the sudden, I had him back.  The weight he had been carrying was visibly gone.  I can't even describe it - it really was something I could see as much as sense.  He got home and rested for the first time in so long that I can't even remember.  I'm grateful for the journey.  I'm also grateful for the little breaks along the way.

Now if someone would just get on up and buy our house, we could get on to the next adventure... (I'm also tired of keeping it "show" clean.  NOT NATURAL.)

Monday, May 11, 2015


Womanhood and motherhood look different in every woman.  I've met many who just seem to take to it like a duck to water, but after being a mom for so long, I've learned that it's a crazy endeavor for everyone anyways.  To anyone who has been reading this since I started this motherhood thing, it's pretty obvious I was not a duck.  I'm still not a duck, but I'm getting closer.  Motherhood was not something that has come naturally to me, and that's even before the insane breastfeeding psychosis and mental problems that are kept at bay by a large amount of daily medications (and chocolate).

That being said, I've been blessed far beyond what I deserve.  For all the mistakes and messes I've made of these poor kids' lives, they came to me brilliant and resilient to compensate.  I mean, for someone who clearly did not have any idea or inclination of how to be a mom, I sure did end up with some freaky awesome humans.

And that is why I believe in God.  He knows me, He knows them, and He is with us.  I can't do this on my own, but with Him, we are doing it.

Happy Uterus Awareness Day!

Sunday, May 3, 2015

status update

I'm in Houston scouting out the scene this weekend with the hubs and my sainted,  perfect, amazing, incredible, awesomesauce mom is watching the kids back in Wisconsin.

We skyped briefly this afternoon and I asked if they were being good to Gamma. They agreed that she was,  but then added this :

WonderGirl: But she doesn't like marshmallows!
The Dude: She's trying to kill us!

Sounds about right. 

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...