HEAR YE.

I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did it the next day.  STILL DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DYING.

I think the only chance I'll get to run today will be on the treadmill, which is a heckuvalot harder than running outside, but I'll take it.

So, who the heck am I???????

Today was one of those days where I threw my to-do list out the window and headed to the children's museum with Thing 3.  This is my last year of having a kid at home at least a few days a week.  

He's SO different than my first two.  He's what I think other people's kids must be like.  I have WonderGirl who is ... extra.  Extra everything.  And the Dude who is so much more than autistic.  But also autistic.  Thing 3 is imaginative and does things like parenting books say children usually do.  They are all brilliant, but smarts come out in different ways.  WG obsessively creates and codes, the Dude reads nonfiction nonstop, and Thing 3 plays with toys like kids in toy commercials do, and also has started memorizing times tables.

I'll never know what it's like to have a gaggle of average children, and I kind of envy those who do.  It's tough for all of us, and the grass is green and glorious everywhere. (I'm typing that to remind me of that for later.)

I'm super lazy.  Some people are go-getters, and I'm the kind of person the go-getters go and get.  And I'm totally fine with being got.  I'm quite the follower - case in point, any church calling that involves me being in charge has generally been a disaster.  If it wasn't a disaster on the outside, it sure as heck was one on the inside.

But, I don't like to do extra if I don't have to, you know.  I don't like inserting my head where it doesn't belong because 1. I don't want responsibility for anything and 2. I don't like drama.  So you know what super gets me confused?  People who have the energy to leave negative/snippy comments on social media.  Oh, I'll say something punchy to my screen, but the act of typing it out and knowing I'm entering The Drama Zone makes me nauseous.  I barely blog any more, why on earth would I spend any precious keystrokes on anything I don't HAVE to be involved in?  

Do I sound 87 yet?  Case in point, WG came home upset about her bus driver, so I asked on a local moms group how to get ahold of the district's bussing dept.  And a few helpful people pointed me in the right direction, while a few others questioned my parenting.  Who has the energy?  This is why I get a little queasy whenever I pop onto social media, because opinions are lurking.  Drama is hiding out somewhere.  And I spend a lot of actual physical energy actually dodging drama in my real life.

Now, as a pallate cleanser from the talk about drama, here is how we spent our anniversary:

Note - I was the only person in the house who did not throw up that day.  I saved it all for the next day, woo!

And here is a butterfly on my hand next to a butterfly on WG's hand:

Just out of the frame - a sobbing Thing 3 who couldn't get any butterflies to land on him because he wouldn't stop jumping up and down.

How was year 13??

The short answer is, it's all here in the amazing annual anniversary video!!  13 YEARS, whodathunk??




The long answer, good.  When I go looking for music for the video, I try to get it to have the feel of the year, and so a peppy OK GO song it is.  Not a lot of eath changing stuff happened this year, although we did live through Hurricane Harvey and the Dude got baptised at the same time.  And then husband and I jetted off to Mexico for a trip I was terrified to take but it ended up being freaking amazing of course.  I really should start to take his word on things.  Oh, and I did go play 3 shows in New Freaking York City with my band.  No biggie.

But the most important thing I learned was to not be so blasted nice.  I'm always accomodating other people and trying to set them at ease (because I'm a stereotypical girl and unfortunately have my own share of #metoo stories, blegh), but if someone is negative about people I love, I don't have to apologize or make nice.  That seems like a no brainer, but I'm planning to be on earth a long time, so there is a long list of things I need to learn so I won't get bored.  At some point, I may even take up accounting!  Hahahaha no.  No I will not.

So that was a great lesson I had to learn this year the hard way.  But it's a lesson I needed to learn eventually, and it reminded me of how blasted lucky I am to have my tribe to protect and that has my back.  Every now and then I take a step back and look at the people I have in my life and it makes me catch my breath.  How did I end up so lucky??  I don't feel worthy.  But I'm aware, and that's a huge blessing in itself.

2018 official

So these were the New Year's resolutions that I picked this year. I'm about halfway done with Duolingo, so I think that's doable. But running 10K... We'll see about that. As my mom says (and my dad for that matter) it's better to shoot for the moon and miss, then to aim for a crap pile, and get it!

Update

So that tea tree oil stuff that I said had basically annihilated my monthly acne, but the price had jumped up to $50?  I was just looking at it and saw this nifty thing that said 50% off, and I checked it out and it worked!  It's much nicer at $25, and seriously worth it.

So, if you have the acnes, this stuff has done magic on my face.  I just use it where I generally break out (chin, ugh) and I haven't had a zit in months.  Look at the reviews, try it out, whatever.  It's your face, and I loves it.

Happy Merry Pretty Things!

Merry Christmas, y'all!!  Instead of a diatribe on how much mental illness bites, I thought I'd share some of my favorite finds.  I'm a sucker for Buzzfeed lists of Awesome Drugstore Beauty Products!! or Great Gifts for Weird People Under for $5!! and I've found some genuine Not Crappy Stuff that I'd share.  These have been Reva Tested and Reva Approved. Links to this stuff are click-on-the-pic.

This Skin Food Black Sugar Mask is soooo fabulous.  You clean your face, then rub the goo on, which has sugar granules in it so it exfoliates, then you leave it on for 10 minutes and then wash off.  Usually when I exfoliate I feel dry and blurg, but this has nice oils in it that leave you feeling Moist.  Yeah, I said it.  Okay, actually Smooth is a better word, but I don't get to use Moist often.  Because it's gross.  But this stuff isn't!  There's a Strawberry version too that's nice, but this one is my go to.  Husband has not mentioned anything about how I look like a diseased zombie when I use it, so that's bonus.

The article I read on this said you'd have Rich Girl Hair.  I don't know what that is, but I do know I use Suave shampoo then this stuff, and my hairs feel awesomesauce, better than any combo of fancy shampoos and conditioners I've tried.  And if it can make Suave hairs feel silky, then booya.  I saved myself 4 bucks with cheap shampoo and my hair feels good anyway.  So I'm 4 bucks richer!

This is a serum thing that the fancy magazines I read in the waiting rooms at the Dude's MANY appointments say I should put on after toner and before moisturizer.  I don't think it lifts anything or does anything age/gravity defying, but of the different serum things I've tried, this feels like smearing satin on my face.  It's so smooooth.  So I feel nice, and that's good enough for me.

A hairdryer brush!!  LANDS. This is for lazy people who are tired of holding a brush in one hand and a hairdryer in the other.  And since I have a bob, this Is Awesome.  I still dry my hair upside down with the big one after my shower to bring the moistness down a notch (I'm on a roll, had to use it) and then this to smooth out the hairs and turn in the ends.  And then maybe a flat iron to tame flyaways, but that takes 2 minutes tops.  This thing does most of the work so my other hand is free to make shadow puppets.  If it wants.

This is for hairs with no body.  I don't know what this stuff is, but it is a friggin miracle.  One review I read said it kept one person's hair from looking flat and gross after a whole day in Florida - that alone made me press Buy It Now.  And I don't get it - I sprinkle it on my roots after styling it, and it looks like I teased it just a tad.  And then it looks like that 8 hours later!  Or more!  If the heavens blessed you with hair that has a mind and a zip code of its own, cherish it.  If not, buy this stuff.

These patches are awesome.  I got a creepy mega zit and I put on of these little stickers on and you can actually see the stuff it sucks out of there.  In 2 days the inflammation was way down and it was barely there.  I've been using this new tea tree oil moisturizer on my Zit Zone and have been lucky to not have any flare ups recently, so these patches haven't been used up fast, but I have an 11 year old kid.  I think they may come in handy soon enough...

Unfortunately the tea tree oil moisturizer was available on Amazon, but it got removed and now I can only find it for $50 which is a lot of moolah.  But I'll keep an eye out and if it appears at a decent price, I'll link to it here.

Have a Happy Rest of 2017!!

EAT THIS

Can I just vent for a second?

My full time occupation is Worrier in Chief.  I worry.  Sometimes I wonder what it's like to have normal kids - but I'm sure someone would say "No kid is normal."  But then they meet my kids.  And they offer their condolences.  This has happened more than once IRL, no joke.

They aren't bad, but they are definitely high maintenance.  And I'm not a full functioning adult, so it takes all of me to keep this family working.  My main job all weekend was keeping them from literally murdering each other.  NOT HYPERBOLE.

The other day mom asked why Thing 3 isn't playing violin.  I gave a genuine effort with The Dude, but now, with everything going on, I just can't manage it.  I did teach him how to read AND teach hin piano.  That's something.

So yesterday while I was fasting and praying about WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP THESE KIDS ALIVE AND ALSO PIKA, I got panicked about the eating thing.  I have a whole list of things to panic about with each kid, so I attached my brain to this one for the day.  And I did something dumb.  I Googled "how to help picky autistic eaters."

Now, for the LOOOONG suffering readers out there, you will remember that we had the WORST trouble getting WonderGirl to eat ANYTHING.  From birth.  It was miserable, especially because I was trying to nurse and wasn't aware that every time I nursed, my dopamine would drop through the floor and I'd get suicidal. (Google DMER.  It stinks).  So it was emotionally a mess. 

In fact, 8 years ago when I was blogging regularly, I had a baaad day about her eating that was so bad, I didn't want to even type it all out.  So I vlogged it.



And guess what? NOW she eats sushi!  And also paper and erasers, but we're working on it.

So I should have known better than to search out answers the eating problems for the Dude.  But I thought, He's autistic!  This has to be common, right?

YOU GUYS.  The answers were all the same.  Try introducing things gently, etc, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Everything I tried with WG but didn't work.  But replace stubbornness with autism, anxiety and a whole bunch of other stuff.  I just don't want him to get osteoporosis.

What I'm saying is, sometimes the internet is an amazing place.

And sometimes, it's a know-it-all jerk.

Resolute

Back in 2015, I woke up too early one morning, tired and miserable.  I said a wee prayer for guidance to help get me out of this haze.  Clear as day, a voice said - "Do yoga."  So, I got out my mat, found a channel on youtube and rocked shivasana.  And child's pose.  The others were kind of a disaster, but I felt a kajillion times better.  I could BREATHE.  I'd get up early in the morning and stretch and be present.  But after years of not doing yoga, I found my body had the elasticity of a yard stick.  Downward dog was especially bad.  So, that year, I made a New Year's resolution - and one that I actually kept:

And I DID.  Not a bunch of times, but I was definitely better, which was the point.  So, I actually made another one last year: 

This one was big because if I was super bad at yoga, I was a complete disaster at running.  I got winded going up the stairs, down the stairs, across the room, everywhere.  I wanted to see if I could push my body to achieve something, and it had to be something attainable.  It took until August, but I finally managed to run one mile WITHOUT STOPPING.  I know that's nothing to my friends - most of whom run marathons like it's a stroll in the park, but my bar started suuuuuper low, so I kind of climbed Mt. Everest.  Kind of.

After that, I got up to 3 miles.  SERIOUSLY.  I don't know if I can try for more, because I rarely have more than 30 minutes, and I really like running in the evening.  Morning running makes me angry, which is kind of the opposite of my goal.  So I started something else...

Any of you ever use Duolingo?  I've used it off and on to try and work on my Portuguese - it's a free app or website that has lessons/quiz stuff.  And around the time I hit my mile goal, I had a life situation that whacked me that precipitated the need for me to take a step back from social media - it's wasn't huge, but I needed a break from drama outside my own family.  So I deleted the FB app and put the Duolingo app in its place.  It's right up front on the home screen, and it tracks streaks and how many days you can go without skipping doing a lesson.  I've gotten up to 28 days before forgetting, and right now it says I'm 47% fluent!  That's probably wildly optimistic, but I surprise myself sometimes with the words I know - wolf, costume, shark... random stuff!

In fact, we were in the car the other day, and husband was listening to some Brasilian punk music, and I saw the title and screamed - "WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO 'I WANT TO SEE THE POOP'?!?!?!"  I swear I saw "Eu Quero Ver O Coco" - but on second view I realized it was not Coco but Oco - Hollow.  Whatever.  But I read that super fast, so someday I may have a situation where a crazy Brasilian asks to see my poop and I'll know what he's saying and can hit him with my purse.

ANYWHO, the point of all this is that I'm thinking about the next year, and what I might be able to accomplish.  And I'm thinking I want to try practicing violin every day - I practiced super hard for years (hellooo, masters) but I haven't in a looong time.  Teaching my own kids has been helpful, plus the occasional gig, but I want to see if I can manage to practice every day, and achieve something.  Maybe I want to learn all the Bach Partitas or Sonatas?  Or learn the Sibelius Concerto... naw, that's more than a year... but I want to find something to learn and achieve it.  Any violinists have any ideas? 

What's the opposite of pride AND humility? Self flagellation?

This weekend at our stake conference, our leaders spoke a few times about pride and the importance of humility.  So I did a good ol' soul scan to see if I had any pride that I should take a soul Swiffer to, and I came to the conclusion that I could have a pride problem - except the Powers that Be have kindly and constantly afforded me with opportunities to prove how completely incompetent I really am.  I'm constantly trying to convince myself that my latest shenanigan wasn't that bad, so I don't really have the time or energy to stockpile up a whole bunch of Hot Dang I'm Cooler Than Thous.

I'm not going to go into a list right now to prove my point, but from giving a vegetarian a meat assortment as a Christmas present, to forgetting what song I was actually playing while onstage at a paying gig and had to stop the entire band because I couldn't even fake my way to the end and I'm pretty sure some members of Jump Little Children were in the audience at the time, rest assured, I have a personal stockpile of evidence to keep me company at 2am.  Every night.

So instead of wallowing during the daylight hours, I've consolidated my interaction with the outside world as much as possible to my current job - the mom thing.  And with a special needs kid, a tween *SERIOUSLY*, and a 4 year old (who is my last baby and is entering school next year so I spend as much as time as possible snuggling him and teaching him EVERYTHING I can before school steals him from me BAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHH), it's pretty easy to do almost nothing else.

Here's the family of late:

The Pagets Kind of Do Halloween.

A post shared by Reva Paget (@onebrickshyish) on Oct 29, 2017 at 5:47pm PDT

The WonderGirl is super pumped to try out the goth thing, the Dude is still as determined as ever to declare his loyalty to the crown (No joke, the kids at church were supposed to draw a picture of their hero, and he drew William the Conquerer), Thing 3 demanded to be a Honey Badger, which, by the way, is pretty much a skunk - I think -  the husband is Man With a Wig So He Put on Some Other Stuff That Goes With The Wig, and I'm Woman With a Wig So She Put on Some Other Stuff That Goes With The Wig.

I see other women - amAZEBALLS women who raise fabulous kids and also do something productive in society, and I can't help but wonder HOW THE HECK, because I can't do much more than parent these 3.  I mean, I parent the bejeezes out of them - I know every assignment WG has due at all times, I take the Dude to therapies at least twice a week, I just taught Thing 3 to read and now he's learning piano - plus I teach the other 2 piano and there's the violin for WG and every now and then I do laundry and if I'm feeling chipper, I clean off a counter in the kitchen and feel like Wonder Woman.  Seriously, if I clean something, the husband knows to fawn about it because that was NOT EASY.  But other than that...

In other news, I've been feeling off lately - and part of that is definitely due to stabilizing meds, and part of it was missing bloggering.  Other social media has too many opinions and people I try to avoid.  But this corner of the internet is blissfully dusty.  Just typing this up as felt juuuust cathartic enough to get me out of bed today.  So who else is still blogging??  If you are puleeeeze comment so I can keep up with you!  I'll never forgive google for taking away their super handy dandy RSS feed  :(   So darn convenient!  Poo.  Anywho, HAPPY TODAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!

It doesn't matter how old I get, having my parents leave always calls for me and hang up crying on the bathroom floor.

* also, there are many other things that end up with me crying on the bathroom floor. I should probably clean it more often.