Monday, January 31, 2011

My violin professor in grad school had me tape every lesson to review during the week.  What you see are about 20 video tapes that I have dragged on 6 moves, yet have not viewed a single one since 2002, at least.  I keep thinking that maybe I’ll have a student who will play the Prokofiev unaccompanied sonata, or the 2nd Wieniawski concerto.. and I could look at these to see how my teacher taught it.

But even in that unlikely event, I seriously doubt I could watch them.  Why would I want to watch my dream implode?  Would I want to see what I played like the week before my arms failed me?  Or see what happened to my body in those two years?  The times that I broke down in tears and she had to shut the camera off?  I would also see me fight my way back and work my way up to playing my master’s recital, but I have a video of the performance that pleases me enough.  I just don’t think I need to see any of these lesson tapes, or drag them on any more moves to sit in any more basements.

I guess I’m waiting for permission to throw them away… like a good student I do what I’m told, and now I’m apparently the teacher, but to different students in a different medium.

So can I ask you a favor?  Can you wide internets give me permission to throw them away?  I’d really like to be able to move on literally and figuratively - because when I pack up my basement again some day, I’d rather deal with all the other baggage down there.  

Please?  Thankee kindly.

No comments:

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...