Thursday, December 18, 2014

my mom is awesomesauce.

I laugh in the face of my last actual post. HahahahagdfGfghugds. I was dealing with almost a week of puking baby - which is rough - because they won't stay in one place so they are throwing up all over the house while you chase them down with a carpet cleaner. Ugh. 

But then. 

The hubs left town Sunday evening. At midnight, my mom came. At 3am, this one started throwing up. 

And Thing 3 was still at it.  I don't know what I would have done without my mom that week. SAINTHOOD EARNED. 

But then. 

I could count on one hand the number of times this 5 year old has thrown up on his life. He doubled his score Wednesday, poor thing. 

But by the sheer spiritual connection my mother has, she knew weeks ago that she needed to come visit during that week. Canceled a vacation and ended up spending said vacation time helping me nurse all my hand back up health. Heck, the hubs was out of town all week, but spent the first day holed up in his hotel throwing up too. Him bring here would have been one more patient. 

This post is dulldulldull, but it needed to be stated that my mother rocks So. Hardcore. 

That is all. 

Thursday, December 4, 2014


I wrote this last Thursday and posted it for a few brief monutes, but then then decided it was too negative and slipped it back into draft mode.  But today, on DAY 8 of the vomit-pocalypse - I'm owning the negative vibe.  Thing 3 doesn't have any other symptoms besides randomly throwing up in really inopportune places.  SO.  MUCH.  PUKE.  And of course, the husband had to jet out of town for a week, starting today - BUT, my sainted mother felt impressed a few weeks ago to cancel her vacation and come visit while he was gone.  TENDER, TENDER MERCIES.

Anywho, this was me on day 5 of the vomit-pocalypse.:

There are things you want to post on FB because validation.  You post a picture like this:

That's 100 guaranteed likes and at least 15 "You have historically created the cutest humans that I have viewed in my newsfeed this hour!" comments.  Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I'll make sure to post something adorable.  It's therapeutic.  I do the same for my friends.  I don't know if they are also crackheads posting for validation, but just in case, I like returning the love.

But there are things you don't post.  I love my 12 real friends and 620 friends I know only through the internets, but I keep away from the controversial topics.  No joke, the husband posted something after he'd been up with a puking Thing 3 in the middle of the night, and a few people commented/argued about how they had it worse.  Not the point.  There are crazy people like that out there.  Gotta be aware.

Commenting on blogs takes longer so haters are usually less likely to troll my posts.  If I'm gonna take the effort to click 3 extra boxes before commenting, you know I'm gonna make it count.

So here in my quiet corner of the internets, I will state that I have been thrown up on 5 times today.  T3 has gone though ALL of the pants I washed yesterday.  This has been going on since Sunday, and I'm proud of my new found prowess with our steam cleaner..  I know so many people who do so much more, and I don't because I know I'm terrible at just these basics. I could volunteer, be on a committee, help people,  I could get out there and use my degree, but I'm barely keeping my head above water.  I've missed 2 doctors appointments that I scheduled wrong in the last month.  I am in charge of almost anything and I'm still useless.  Covered in vomit.  And if I actually had a life I'd have to let people down and cancel things to stay home and be vomited on.  I hate letting people down.  So I don't commit to anything that would require me to be up in the first place.  Why does my day job consist of all the things I'm bad at??  I have skills!  Just not these skills.

And if I posted that on FB, I would get all sorts of comments.  I don't want them.  I don't want pity, or commiseration or reasons why I'm wrong.  I do need to get it off my chest so I can feel a little lighter when I get up and mop the kitchen floor.

I promise, I feel better now, letting that out.  I know there are things I'm good at.  I have a life where I'm loved deeply by amazing people, and it doesn't get better than that.

And I have a blog.  Those are awesome.

So that's that.  I'm going to try and shower before the next episode.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

nablopomo WIN.

Why hello, November 30th. You came a lot sooner than I thought you would. It doesn't feel like I've covered a whole lotta quality this NaBloPoMo, but at least I made up for it in quantity!

Speaking of something completely different, last night I descended into a sore throat/body aches hole and took a night time cold/flu medicine in the hopes that a good night's sleep would knock it out.  But alas, I awoke at 1 am to Thing 3 throwing up and hotter than blue blazes.  The husband was taking care of everything while I wandered around fetching clean this and that, and then he stayed in with T3 for a few more hours so I could get back to sleep.  Then, he actually went to his early morning bishoping stuff while I stayed in with 2 snotty kids (physically, not mentally) and a T3 who was WAY too active for someone who had been delirious and sick a few hours earlier.  I was hoping for more snuggling with a sick kid, but instead I laid in bed while the Dude periodically came in to jump on me.  So then the hubs stayed for all of church (taught 3rd hour), came home and watched the kids while I slept for a few more hours, made pizza from scratch and who knows what else.  Tender mercies, thy name is HUBS!

So as a parting gift for this year, I'll share a bit of wisdom I gleaned for a parenting mag in a waiting room years ago: When your kids turn into crabs, put them in water!

No matter the time of day, if they are driving you crazy, driving themselves crazy, whatever, playing in the bath will fix it, at least temporarily.  On crazy snow days, we've started out our day in the bath and I've given the kids shaving cream and water guns and let them go at it.  They think it's a day in the tropics if you let them wear their swimsuits in there.  Or I've thrown them in there with as many pots and pans as I care to have to rewash.  Or have them make an entire mountain of bubble snakes.  This pic was today at 5pm when T3 wouldn't stop pestering me for more water when he already had a full cup RIGHT THERE.  This is probably totally common knowledge for everyone else, but I'm so grateful someone had the kindness to state the obvious for people as clueless as me.  

So there you go.  And hey, if you're turning into a crab, throw yourself in some water!  A good bath/shower always perks me up, so it stands to reason it'd be universal.

Thanks for sticking with me!!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

git er done

*sits at computer*

thinks:  There's a reason I don't blog every day.  What the heck am I going to write about... we went to a movie yesterday with all 3 kids, I hung out at a mall all afternoon today... I'm bored just thinking about me.

*opens Pinterest*

thinks:  I love this stuff.  I really do.  But there is no way I'm going to that much effort to make a pompom rug.  They sell rugs at stores.

*Thing 3 climbs on top of me*

thinks:  Is he going to try to rip the remaining keys off my laptop?

*opens camera on laptop*

thinks: Hey, this'll distract him!


Friday, November 28, 2014


As promised, a post on my dear friend who happens to be prison.  I wrote this back in July but never posted it, and she has now been there almost a year.  It's a heart-wrenching situation that I can't even begin to understand.

During my usual morning chaos, I remembered something I have heard from many readers - they appreciate how I am "real" about life and motherhood.  Which has always confused me, because I don't think I let all the gruesome nitty-gritty out.  If anything I scrub up some of these memories so they're a little less rough.  It makes me wonder what other bloggers are saying if what I'm posting seems neat and tidy to me... 
Anywho, when that thought popped into my head this morning, the next one was - well, let's get REAL then.  There are some things that need to be shared because hiding them in the shadows is dangerous. 
I have a really good friend from college who has a toddler-aged kid.  She's very intelligent, proactive and well-educated.  Seriously, this chick has started her own companies, advocated the heck out of causes she believes in and after getting her degree as the top of one insanely difficult instrument, got a master's in an entirely different field and rose to the top of the ranks in that one too.  She's a go-getter, and that's an understatement. 
So when a few months into motherhood, when she was slammed with one of the worst cases of PPD I've ever seen, she acted.  She was hospitalized more than once, was incredibly involved in finding the right medication, and worked to better the treatment options for PPD in her area.  She mentored more than one friend who she discovered was going through it, and when she found out I was pregnant with Thing 3, she started sending care packages and e.mails to Jared about how to attack the darkness when it came (because it does. and it did.). 
She called me one day, thrilled that her doctors had decided to cut back her care because they thought she was improving.  She had attacked this monster like the superwoman she is.  Then I didn't hear from her for a few weeks.  That's not uncommon with our crazy lives, so I didn't worry about it. 
A while later I found out why from a mutual friend on FB.  I don't know enough of the specifics to share details, but I do know that one day the beast reared its ugly head and she didn't have the strength to fight back.  She tried to kill both herself and her son. 
Thankfully, they were discovered in time to get treatment.  Not thankfully, our legal system is backwards, so instead of getting help, she has been in prison for more than 6 months now, awaiting trial. 
I can't put into words how angry this makes me.  How much I want to scream that she is NOT a criminal.  That she is a wonderful, contributing member of our society and what she needs is NOT to be stuck in a cell for 23 hours a day.  I can't even continue ranting on this or I'll work myself up, and that's the last thing I need right now. 
The thing that makes me sick is - but for the grace of God go I.  Any of us. 

Throughout this ordeal, she has embraced her faith.  She has more now than she ever has, and is constantly light-seeking,   Of course, being her, she has worked herself to where she now has a highly coveted work position in the prison with more freedoms.  She does not sit still, ever.  In fact, I am already in awe of how she is planning to help others and advocate for change.

If you'd ever like to send her a note, I know she'd love it.  I send her talks and articles I think she might like.  Any little note would brighten her day.  If you want to, just ask me for the address. :)

Thursday, November 27, 2014

thanks giving.

This year's turkey may have been the best turkey I have ever had.  Husband seriously outdid himself - letting it brine overnight in this insanely cool concoction he'd dreamed about, then so.many.herbs.everywhere.  Seriously SO GOOD.  We had an empty nester couple over for dinner and enjoyed not feeling so alone, or having to make the rolls or pies.  I talked to a dear friend who I really need to blog about - she's been in prison for almost a year and it's going to be another interminable wait to even get a trial and any kind of resolution - and I shared this quote with her that has been on my mind lately.  She is an inspiration, finding light in the darkest of places imaginable, and she's moving uphill against horrific obstacles.  I'll give you the whole story tomorrow, I promise.

But the thing is, as we went around the table listing our 3 kernels of thankfulness this year, even though I am still in a grouchy funk, it was hard to narrow it down to just 3.  I loved what our friend said - he was thankful for talents, and for all the people who have different talents from his own.  I don't have any neat and succinct point, but these are all the things swirling around my head today.  I hope you feel good today.  It's uphill, but that's a good direction to be headed in.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014


Ironically, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm still in a funk. So for GPOYW, I tried to inspire myself by taking gratuitous pictures of my day. Not feeling inspired looking back, though. Just tired. 

The older kids were sledding at the park so I went all sorting bears on Thing 3. He tried to eat all of them. 
The Dude is heading up the sledding hill. Can you spot the spot?
Made laundry detergent. Whoopee. 
I've never been able to give my kid a bottle and have them feed themselves. With that tiny bit of freedom, they squirt it all over everything they can reach, so I still have to hold Thing 3 when he wants one. 
 At the carwash. Because this is what I do when I need to get out of the house and want my kids restrained. 
Oh, awesome. The sole of my boot ripped off. 
Boot shopping. $&@!!!.
Someone woke up from nap time an hour early. 
Fine. Piano lessons for everyone. 
Dagnabit. WonderGirl's lesson was hijacked. 
Picked up these bad boys at a place with the words "farm and fleet" in the title. I've been trying to find new snowboots for weeks and I hate them all, so I just gave in and bought literally the only pair of snow boots in my size in the entire store.  These boots weigh more than sensible footwear should weigh. 

But something did make me smile today - my dear friend Watoozi posted this on Instagram and I've gone back to laugh at it all day:

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

cloudy face

My sainted mother called me today and pumped me up big time. Spending all my time with a dysfunctional toddler is really doing a number on my self esteem. If the person you spent the most time with frequently started screaming and clawing at your face like an angry zombie, it would set you on edge too. 

So I was feeling on. Not above the line, but not below. Just on. It's a good, stable place to be. And I've been searching my brains for something positive or just off the  MYKIDSAREPSYCHO topic to blog, but then I had to spend half an hour in a car dealership waiting room. With all 3. It had no door, and was across the hall from some offices and a showroom. I lost my will to live by the 15 minute mark. 

My sainted mother had assured me it wasn't my fault that my toddlers turn into psycho howler monkeys, but the common factor in all of them is that they spend almost their entire waking hours with me. That can't be a coincidence. 

One thing raising WonderGirl has taught me is that I can't take credit for their awesomeness. But I just can't do the opposite and not take credit for their faults. 

And now, a palate cleanser. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Check out more of these here.  It's perfection.

I'm not gonna lie - today did not have a lot of win. Actually, we went to a turkey bingo thing at the library and lost, kind of. The things we used to cover the bingo cards were candy corns, and every time we lost, the kids ate them until we were playing with candy stumps. 

But then there was the rest of the day... sometimes I am able to see the army of therapists and doctors that keep my kids going as a good thing. Sometimes. 

Also, it snowed. Blarg. 

phoning it in

Dani is traveling with a baby, Jane just gave birth, and they are both doing a better job of blogging than me, who has not left the city limits here in at least a week. I'm literally phoning it in. Laying in bed here, typing this out with my thumb on my phone while spooning my snoozing husband. Sad. 

I do have valid excuses - even though I did end up taking a nap today. But a house full of family all weekend, plus nursery this morning zapped all my energy. Yesterday afternoon I felt like I'd been clicked over the head with a sleepy stick, but there wasn't time to rest. We had to stake out our seats for the Holly Jolly Light Parade in downtown ClownTown. 

We all wore snow pants even though the blessed temps were in the 40s, but it came in handy because the ground was wet. SMRT. 

It's just utter small town gloriousness. There's nothing cuter. And marching bands wearing Chrismas lights!!  So previous!

We played Charades while we were waiting. Some if the kids were surprisingly good. They got my Frozen clue in .3 nanoseconds. 

It's all about the kids - we took a MAZILLION pics if them, but I wanted to be sure it was documented that we grownups were there and had survived. 

Alex went out last night and surprised us l with donuts this morning. Best uncle ever. 

And completely unrelated, to ifhtroom the hubs and I were practicing a music number for the ward Christmas party and I lamented a lack of bass players in our ward, when the husband decided WonderGirl could probably play the part cuz it was all open strings, so he grabbed her an acoustic bass and she totally figured it out.  Nutty. Eat THAT, Suzuki-hating MOC. Don't ask me to elaborate...

And I'm going to sign off before I start typing gibberish. Happy Sunday!!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

So tired Dani visited and has a freaking cute baby and I am so tired amen