Thursday, March 15, 2018
I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death. So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did it the next day. STILL DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DYING.
I think the only chance I'll get to run today will be on the treadmill, which is a heckuvalot harder than running outside, but I'll take it.
So, who the heck am I???????
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Note - I was the only person in the house who did not throw up that day. I saved it all for the next day, woo!
And here is a butterfly on my hand next to a butterfly on WG's hand:
Sunday, January 21, 2018
The long answer, good. When I go looking for music for the video, I try to get it to have the feel of the year, and so a peppy OK GO song it is. Not a lot of eath changing stuff happened this year, although we did live through Hurricane Harvey and the Dude got baptised at the same time. And then husband and I jetted off to Mexico for a trip I was terrified to take but it ended up being freaking amazing of course. I really should start to take his word on things. Oh, and I did go play 3 shows in New Freaking York City with my band. No biggie.
But the most important thing I learned was to not be so blasted nice. I'm always accomodating other people and trying to set them at ease (because I'm a stereotypical girl and unfortunately have my own share of #metoo stories, blegh), but if someone is negative about people I love, I don't have to apologize or make nice. That seems like a no brainer, but I'm planning to be on earth a long time, so there is a long list of things I need to learn so I won't get bored. At some point, I may even take up accounting! Hahahaha no. No I will not.
So that was a great lesson I had to learn this year the hard way. But it's a lesson I needed to learn eventually, and it reminded me of how blasted lucky I am to have my tribe to protect and that has my back. Every now and then I take a step back and look at the people I have in my life and it makes me catch my breath. How did I end up so lucky?? I don't feel worthy. But I'm aware, and that's a huge blessing in itself.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
So these were the New Year's resolutions that I picked this year. I'm about halfway done with Duolingo, so I think that's doable. But running 10K... We'll see about that. As my mom says (and my dad for that matter) it's better to shoot for the moon and miss, then to aim for a crap pile, and get it!
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
So, if you have the acnes, this stuff has done magic on my face. I just use it where I generally break out (chin, ugh) and I haven't had a zit in months. Look at the reviews, try it out, whatever. It's your face, and I loves it.
Monday, December 25, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
My full time occupation is Worrier in Chief. I worry. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to have normal kids - but I'm sure someone would say "No kid is normal." But then they meet my kids. And they offer their condolences. This has happened more than once IRL, no joke.
They aren't bad, but they are definitely high maintenance. And I'm not a full functioning adult, so it takes all of me to keep this family working. My main job all weekend was keeping them from literally murdering each other. NOT HYPERBOLE.
The other day mom asked why Thing 3 isn't playing violin. I gave a genuine effort with The Dude, but now, with everything going on, I just can't manage it. I did teach him how to read AND teach hin piano. That's something.
So yesterday while I was fasting and praying about WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP THESE KIDS ALIVE AND ALSO PIKA, I got panicked about the eating thing. I have a whole list of things to panic about with each kid, so I attached my brain to this one for the day. And I did something dumb. I Googled "how to help picky autistic eaters."
Now, for the LOOOONG suffering readers out there, you will remember that we had the WORST trouble getting WonderGirl to eat ANYTHING. From birth. It was miserable, especially because I was trying to nurse and wasn't aware that every time I nursed, my dopamine would drop through the floor and I'd get suicidal. (Google DMER. It stinks). So it was emotionally a mess.
In fact, 8 years ago when I was blogging regularly, I had a baaad day about her eating that was so bad, I didn't want to even type it all out. So I vlogged it.
And guess what? NOW she eats sushi! And also paper and erasers, but we're working on it.
So I should have known better than to search out answers the eating problems for the Dude. But I thought, He's autistic! This has to be common, right?
YOU GUYS. The answers were all the same. Try introducing things gently, etc, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Everything I tried with WG but didn't work. But replace stubbornness with autism, anxiety and a whole bunch of other stuff. I just don't want him to get osteoporosis.
What I'm saying is, sometimes the internet is an amazing place.
And sometimes, it's a know-it-all jerk.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
This one was big because if I was super bad at yoga, I was a complete disaster at running. I got winded going up the stairs, down the stairs, across the room, everywhere. I wanted to see if I could push my body to achieve something, and it had to be something attainable. It took until August, but I finally managed to run one mile WITHOUT STOPPING. I know that's nothing to my friends - most of whom run marathons like it's a stroll in the park, but my bar started suuuuuper low, so I kind of climbed Mt. Everest. Kind of.
After that, I got up to 3 miles. SERIOUSLY. I don't know if I can try for more, because I rarely have more than 30 minutes, and I really like running in the evening. Morning running makes me angry, which is kind of the opposite of my goal. So I started something else...
Any of you ever use Duolingo? I've used it off and on to try and work on my Portuguese - it's a free app or website that has lessons/quiz stuff. And around the time I hit my mile goal, I had a life situation that whacked me that precipitated the need for me to take a step back from social media - it's wasn't huge, but I needed a break from drama outside my own family. So I deleted the FB app and put the Duolingo app in its place. It's right up front on the home screen, and it tracks streaks and how many days you can go without skipping doing a lesson. I've gotten up to 28 days before forgetting, and right now it says I'm 47% fluent! That's probably wildly optimistic, but I surprise myself sometimes with the words I know - wolf, costume, shark... random stuff!
In fact, we were in the car the other day, and husband was listening to some Brasilian punk music, and I saw the title and screamed - "WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO 'I WANT TO SEE THE POOP'?!?!?!" I swear I saw "Eu Quero Ver O Coco" - but on second view I realized it was not Coco but Oco - Hollow. Whatever. But I read that super fast, so someday I may have a situation where a crazy Brasilian asks to see my poop and I'll know what he's saying and can hit him with my purse.
ANYWHO, the point of all this is that I'm thinking about the next year, and what I might be able to accomplish. And I'm thinking I want to try practicing violin every day - I practiced super hard for years (hellooo, masters) but I haven't in a looong time. Teaching my own kids has been helpful, plus the occasional gig, but I want to see if I can manage to practice every day, and achieve something. Maybe I want to learn all the Bach Partitas or Sonatas? Or learn the Sibelius Concerto... naw, that's more than a year... but I want to find something to learn and achieve it. Any violinists have any ideas?
Monday, November 20, 2017
I'm not going to go into a list right now to prove my point, but from giving a vegetarian a meat assortment as a Christmas present, to forgetting what song I was actually playing while onstage at a paying gig and had to stop the entire band because I couldn't even fake my way to the end and I'm pretty sure some members of Jump Little Children were in the audience at the time, rest assured, I have a personal stockpile of evidence to keep me company at 2am. Every night.
So instead of wallowing during the daylight hours, I've consolidated my interaction with the outside world as much as possible to my current job - the mom thing. And with a special needs kid, a tween *SERIOUSLY*, and a 4 year old (who is my last baby and is entering school next year so I spend as much as time as possible snuggling him and teaching him EVERYTHING I can before school steals him from me BAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHH), it's pretty easy to do almost nothing else.
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I see other women - amAZEBALLS women who raise fabulous kids and also do something productive in society, and I can't help but wonder HOW THE HECK, because I can't do much more than parent these 3. I mean, I parent the bejeezes out of them - I know every assignment WG has due at all times, I take the Dude to therapies at least twice a week, I just taught Thing 3 to read and now he's learning piano - plus I teach the other 2 piano and there's the violin for WG and every now and then I do laundry and if I'm feeling chipper, I clean off a counter in the kitchen and feel like Wonder Woman. Seriously, if I clean something, the husband knows to fawn about it because that was NOT EASY. But other than that...
In other news, I've been feeling off lately - and part of that is definitely due to stabilizing meds, and part of it was missing bloggering. Other social media has too many opinions and people I try to avoid. But this corner of the internet is blissfully dusty. Just typing this up as felt juuuust cathartic enough to get me out of bed today. So who else is still blogging?? If you are puleeeeze comment so I can keep up with you! I'll never forgive google for taking away their super handy dandy RSS feed :( So darn convenient! Poo. Anywho, HAPPY TODAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!
Friday, April 7, 2017
It doesn't matter how old I get, having my parents leave always calls for me and hang up crying on the bathroom floor.
* also, there are many other things that end up with me crying on the bathroom floor. I should probably clean it more often.
HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death. So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...