Wednesday, April 22, 2015

GPOYW - hairy

I'm aware that these pictures are no help at all, but I've taken to lightening my hairs.  Behold, a Cousin It view:


Oh man, I just realized my kids will almost definitely never get that reference.  At what age is the Addams Family knowledge cut-off??

Anywho, I'm still firmly commited to this whole letting myself go thing, but the hubs has some crazy notion that I should try at least a little and maintain a decent haircut/style.  I'm really against it because having kids and trying to get to a salon has become a nightmare in the last few years, and I'd rather look like a vagrant than go through trying to carve out time and childcare for something as useless as hair.  I mean, it's a bunch of dead cells that no matter what you do, will always change.  It keeps growing out or falling out, and then there's the stress of hoping your stylist (if you can find a decent one) can create something decent and that's always a crapshoot and gaahhhh.  I'm getting panicked just typing about it.

Boo on you, hair.

But the other week, the hubs came home with this tube of Summer Lights Hair Lightening Gelee that promised to be low stress and gradual. 
 It's this gel you put on your hair and leave it in - and the sun and/or a hairdryer helps it lighten a wee bit.  Kind of like the whole lemon juice idea, but it has hydrogen peroxide in it too.  I've used it for a week and half now, and it looks like I've hit the lightest my hair will go on it - it's lighter with a tinge of strawberry blonde.  I tried taking a picture of it last weekend but it didn't capture the lightness so much.  My eyes, however, looked super awesome, so let's take a moment and enjoy my eyeballs.


Let's try this one more time with a little less It vibe:


No makeup whatsover.  Or a bra, for that matter.  See?  I'm totally fine with looking like a crazy person.  Speaking of, my cool SIL asked if I'd do a capsule wardrobe challenge with her - that thing where you only have 37 items of clothing and they all coordinate so you waste less time getting ready or shopping, and get rid of stuff you don't wear anyway.  It sounds great, but then I realized I already kind of do that.  I just wear ill-fitting t-shirts and jeans, because jeans are safe (meaning my kids can't pull them up or down like a skirt... I've been exposed so many times at church... blarg.) and they're going to end up stained or ripped anyway, even though I HATE WOMEN'S TEE SHIRTS.  I have a torso, people!!  If you are going to be putting out only low rise jeans, for the love of Pete, make the shirts longer so we aren't constantly yanking our tops down or our pants up.  GAH.  So I pretty much just walk around slightly annoyed all the time, until bedtime when I put on snuggly pants.  And I haven't hit the point where I'll wear those in public - mostly because there are far too many holes in them.  But sooooo snuggly.

What was I talking about? 

Hair.  So anyway, my hair is slightly lighter.  Woohoo.  This has been a lovely little break, but back to going through the house freaking out that I'll never get it clean enough for a showing and we'll never sell it and I'll end up living in a van down by the river.  In Houston.  Blarg.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

GPOYW


GPOYW - SO.TWO. edition.  Having a toddler is like being in a abusive relationship.  I know he doesn't mean it personally, but it's hard not to feel battle worn after carrying a screaming-kicking-mess though the Pierce's parking lot because he wants to run unassisted, right into traffic.  The thing is, there is nothing more endearing or wonderful than a two year old who is getting what he wants and is laying the charm on thick.  I LOVE YOU!  I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING ON EARTH! Life becomes a little more tolerable when you just accept that all toddlers are bipolar.

But I've come out the other end and I know that this stage ends.  And someday when they see the Sesame Street logo, they won't say this:

A video posted by Jared Paget (@jaredpaget) on
I might miss this.  Might.

Monday, April 13, 2015

i gurfed.

Hey, so remember how my last post was all "I'm so stressed about moving that I'm nauseous!" - well, it turns out I was stressed because I WAS nauseous.  I was trying to write something to take my mind of my anxiety and I just kept feeling worse.  I thought it was because I was stressed or hungry, so I ate a ton and tried to breathe calmly, but that didn't help either.

It turns out the best cure was actually throwing up.  Apparently I had a 24 hour bug (Thing 3 got it too) and I didn't realize I was sick so I just assumed I was stressed because hello, this is me.

So I feel much better today!  Stress is waayyy better than bugs.

Other things of note:

I just picked the Dude up from school and realized he'd been wearing his pants backwards.  All day.  This was nowhere near the first time, but usually it's sweatpants so it's not obvious.  Today was totally obvious - they had back pockets.  That were on his front.

A friend insisted on coming over today and helped me paint and clean for FOUR HOURS.  There are a few walls that aren't totally terrifying anymore!  I want to be that kind of friend.  She has an older daughter who can watch the younger kids, and homeschools too - all 5 of them.  Also they have a farm with chickens, a massive lavender crop and gazillion other things going on.  I don't think I'll ever hit that kind of awesome level, but darn it, I'm so thankful for examples of awesome humans who maybe, juuuust maybe I'll be able to emulate someday.

I realized I have no shorts.  We're moving to Houston.  Would someone please direct me to where to shop for new clothes for a humid environment??  They have to fit every single one of these criteria:

Modest (LDS).
Tall.
Not too nice so I won't feel bad if they get boogers and peanut butter on them.
Not too expensive so I won't feel bad if they get boogers and peanut butter on them.
Tall.
I mean it.
Seriously, I hate all clothes because they never cover all my torso and I'm always bending over, crawling after kids and readjusting my shirts all the time and I haaaaaaate it.

Have a nice Monday with stress caused by actually stressy things other than stomach bugs!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

i think i'm gonna hurl

A video posted by @onebrickshyish on
Look!  Seven seconds of my boys punching something other than each other!  It exists!

I keep going back to those lists of the most traumatic life experiences - death, injury, job loss, all sorts of fun stuff.  I'm always like, divorce, the flu, those things are awful, but moving is always on the list too, and I'm like, moving?  That's not so terrible.

And then I have to move. And I'm like ooohhhh yeaaahhhh.....

No, I will not use my blog to complain for the next 6 months.  But I WILL use it to distract myself when I'm freaking out and want to puke all over the place.  Because packing, people.  PACKING.


Hey look!  We went to Chicago for spring break!  That was cool!  Literally - I brought a thin pair of tennies and it snowed in that beautiful slushy way only Chicago can, so I sloshed around with wet feet for 3 days.

We went to the Field Museum and the Museum of Science and Industry and it was super awesome, but by the third day the only cure for a vacation with kids was to spend the morning at Ikea.  It was
magnificent.

I just realized I might not be stressing out - I might actually need to throw up.  Ugh.  Thursdays.

I think I could use a palate cleanser.

Here's a picture I took where the Dude looks exactly like Calvin, minus Hobbes.


You see it right??

And here's a picture of Thing 3 with an Easter basket.


You're welcome.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

moving on south


Oh, and this is official now.  Anyone want to buy our house in Wisconsin or sell us a house in the south end of Houston?  Or do all the other bazillion things we need to do but haven't even started because AAAAAKKKKK?

A few FAQs for you:

We are moving because the husband's company is transferring him.

We are done with the winters here, but everything else about leaving makes me a little sick inside.  We have done such good work with both kids in school and I finally figured how to use the library's online stuff.  And this is house is freaking awesome.  On the end of a street, next to a farm with really pretty cows (they really are quite picturesque) and a massive park across the street - I don't think we'll ever get so lucky ever again.

Yes, this means the hubs days as a bishop are numbered.  Lots of mixed feelings there.

No, I've never been to Houston.  Ever.

Why yes, I DO hate packing!  Thank you for asking!

i like to move it move it

St. Paddy's came and went and I forgot to wear green all day - but we played some tunes at a nursing home with a friend that evening, and suggested the Dude dance - and this happened.  Where did these moves come from??
A video posted by @onebrickshyish on

Sunday, March 1, 2015

MARCH ON.

The husband is out of town and the kids are asleep so I'm getting caught up on gathering my 365 pictures for the month.  And it hit me - it's MARCH. I didn't think we'd ever get here.  The January-February stretch in the Midwest is one long stretch of blllaaaahhhhh.  Looking back at the pictures, we managed to keep it together, but ugh.  I am ready to lose my mind.  It drives me crazy having to dress up babies and toddlers in the winter (who don't want to be dressed up) and not be able to go out and let them play for months now.  I'm pretty sure Thing 3 has taken to eating the couch just to break up the monotony.

But today - oh yes, it was bitterly cold, but it was Stake Conference.  The kids were giddy to get to sit by dad, and I was riding high from our Saturday Night Grown Up Session date the night before.  We went out for pho with a superstar couple in-between the hubs leadership meetings and the glorious 2 hours of uninterrupted listening to speakers (which included an apostle or two, so that was cool).

And miracle of miracles this morning, Thing 3 sat relatively uncrazed for the two hour meeting.  It was amazing to not be wandering the halls trying to keep him quiet.  He'll be 2 this week (can you believe that??) and maybe - just maybe - I'm seeing the light at the end of the crazed baby stage.  THERE IS HOPE.


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

GPOYW

- "quiet time" - edition.  It's a myth.  A MYTH.

POOP.



I keep waiting for a instagram-to-blogger app since most of us bloggers have migrated over to instagram, but no luck so far (you hear that, tech gurus?? Untapped market!).

Until then,  I'll just screen-cap some. Which is kind of useless,  since most of you follow me on instagram anyway.

But this one is worthy of seeing over and over and over. I was obsessively going over the alphabet with Thing 3 (I admit I'm a total loon)  when he turns to me and says "poop."  No joke. And his diaper was empty,  so I asked him if he wanted to go to the potty. He said yes,  which is in itself  a big deal since he only just recently branched out from "no" as his sole vocab word.

And then yes,  the ONE YEAR OLD POOPED ON THE POTTY. IT WAS MAGICAL. I totally Skyped the husband right then and screamed "POOPOO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" a bunch of times. I'm pretty sure he was in a meeting because I heard laughing in the background,  but I have no regrets.

I don't expect this to be the norm,  but even once was enough to make my winter day less awful. Have I mentioned how over negative temps I am?? Cuz yeah.

But seriously. Get on that app,  nerds.


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

hairy

For a multitude of reasons, I haven't had a decent haircut or color since before Thing 3.  He's turning 2 in less than a month.  And it's like my hair has gone feral.  So Saturday night, it finally dawned on me to turn to Pinterest.  A quick search for "DIY hair cut" yielded a ridiculous amount of pins.  Apparently that's a thing you can do.  Like, it's my hair, right?  Why did I never think of this?


So I woke up Sunday morning, waited until the husband was out of the bathroom so he wouldn't witness it and laugh at me.  Maybe he wouldn't.  I'm a 13 year old girl when it comes to this stuff.  Anywho, TA-DAH!!!


I'm going with Not Horrible.  Then I got so excited I cut some layers into WonderGirl's hair at those look even More Not Horrible.

So now... Pinterest?  I admit I've searched for some DIY color options...  haven't pulled the trigger yet.  At this point all those fire engine red options are looking miiightly tempting...

Thursday, February 5, 2015

constant craving....

Women always worry about turning into their mothers when they get older.  Me?  I worry about turning into Mad-Eye Moody.



Or Barty Crouch Jr. on polyjuice potion pretending to be Mad-Eye.  Whatever.

Ahem.  NERDS RULE.  Ahem.

Seriously - Thing 3 is turning my hair grey.  I actually have a grey hair and even though that may actually be from being 35, I blame it squarely on him.  He is TERRIFYING.  You turn your head for one second and he's cheerfully playing with knives on the counter.  YES THAT HAPPENED.  He's in the bathroom, putting his sibling's toothbrushes in the toilet.  He's eating glue sticks.  My deodorant.  Carrying a massive jug of olive oil around the house.  Drawing on my walls even though we have hidden all the pencils.  HE FINDS THEM.  Stealing his dad's work iPhone even though I keep telling the husband to stop plugging it in on his bedside table because Thing 3 knows it's there.  Ripping up library books.  Steals my contacts case and tries to eat it EVERY DAY. Fishing pancakes out of the trash and rubbing them into the carpet. Stealing EVERY CUP IN THE HOUSE.  Then pouring the water EVERYWHERE.  He's a crazed cup thief - I'm his nursery leader, so I know.  He has a cup in front of him and he goes for everyone else's every single time. Then throwing up somewhere random.  JUST BECAUSE.

These all happen.  Daily.  And that's not even a tenth of it all.  He's so flipping adorable that he's managed to stay alive, but I can't let my guard down.  The poor Dude is soooo over him, and I feel terrible about it, but you can hardly blame him.  How would you feel if a rabid 1 year old spent most of his awake time trying to attack you or destroy everything you hold dear?

CONSTANT.  VIGILANCE.

Were my other kids this scary?  I was in a PPD haze for most of WonderGirl's first few years and a good portion of the Dude's, so I don't trust my memory.  Do you guys remember?

I took this picture a few days ago and I have no idea why he did this, but he kind of looks like he's attempting a Mad-Eye look.  He's not, by-the-by.  I have strict non-disclosure policies about Harry Potter in these parts.


No spoilers.  When he reads Harry Potter, it'll be fresh.  I made WG watch all the movies in hiding when she was reading HP last summer.  He's a flipping sponge.

But seriously, guys.  CONSTANT. VIGILANCE.