Tuesday, November 25, 2014

cloudy face

My sainted mother called me today and pumped me up big time. Spending all my time with a dysfunctional toddler is really doing a number on my self esteem. If the person you spent the most time with frequently started screaming and clawing at your face like an angry zombie, it would set you on edge too. 

So I was feeling on. Not above the line, but not below. Just on. It's a good, stable place to be. And I've been searching my brains for something positive or just off the  MYKIDSAREPSYCHO topic to blog, but then I had to spend half an hour in a car dealership waiting room. With all 3. It had no door, and was across the hall from some offices and a showroom. I lost my will to live by the 15 minute mark. 

My sainted mother had assured me it wasn't my fault that my toddlers turn into psycho howler monkeys, but the common factor in all of them is that they spend almost their entire waking hours with me. That can't be a coincidence. 

One thing raising WonderGirl has taught me is that I can't take credit for their awesomeness. But I just can't do the opposite and not take credit for their faults. 

And now, a palate cleanser. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Check out more of these here.  It's perfection.

I'm not gonna lie - today did not have a lot of win. Actually, we went to a turkey bingo thing at the library and lost, kind of. The things we used to cover the bingo cards were candy corns, and every time we lost, the kids ate them until we were playing with candy stumps. 

But then there was the rest of the day... sometimes I am able to see the army of therapists and doctors that keep my kids going as a good thing. Sometimes. 

Also, it snowed. Blarg. 

phoning it in

Dani is traveling with a baby, Jane just gave birth, and they are both doing a better job of blogging than me, who has not left the city limits here in at least a week. I'm literally phoning it in. Laying in bed here, typing this out with my thumb on my phone while spooning my snoozing husband. Sad. 

I do have valid excuses - even though I did end up taking a nap today. But a house full of family all weekend, plus nursery this morning zapped all my energy. Yesterday afternoon I felt like I'd been clicked over the head with a sleepy stick, but there wasn't time to rest. We had to stake out our seats for the Holly Jolly Light Parade in downtown ClownTown. 

We all wore snow pants even though the blessed temps were in the 40s, but it came in handy because the ground was wet. SMRT. 

It's just utter small town gloriousness. There's nothing cuter. And marching bands wearing Chrismas lights!!  So previous!

We played Charades while we were waiting. Some if the kids were surprisingly good. They got my Frozen clue in .3 nanoseconds. 

It's all about the kids - we took a MAZILLION pics if them, but I wanted to be sure it was documented that we grownups were there and had survived. 

Alex went out last night and surprised us l with donuts this morning. Best uncle ever. 

And completely unrelated, to ifhtroom the hubs and I were practicing a music number for the ward Christmas party and I lamented a lack of bass players in our ward, when the husband decided WonderGirl could probably play the part cuz it was all open strings, so he grabbed her an acoustic bass and she totally figured it out.  Nutty. Eat THAT, Suzuki-hating MOC. Don't ask me to elaborate...

And I'm going to sign off before I start typing gibberish. Happy Sunday!!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

So tired Dani visited and has a freaking cute baby and I am so tired amen 

Friday, November 21, 2014

just in case

The next time you talk to someone who is worrying about something with their child and says they think it's their fault, even though it isn't and couldn't possibly be - don't tell them they're wrong.  Yes, they're wrong, but there is nothing that will take away the guilt that comes from the idea that you could have prevented something that makes life more difficult for your child.

Instead, just tell them all the things that are right in their life.  That's really the only thing that can save them from trying to put blame somewhere and being completely overwhelmed.  Help them remember all the glorious blessings they have that make the reality they live in livable.  I was reminded today that I have a few big problems to deal with as a mother, and a thousand blessings to help.

Don't minimize their trial, because it is theirs, and it's larger than you can possibly imagine - just agree, and then try to find the light for them.  Or just hug them.  Because life really is wonderful.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

space filler

I'm about to have a house full of babies and adults and angry toddlers and I'm trying to de-crud-ify the house and this morning a family of 5 kids showed up for violin lessons and I forgot I was teaching them violin so my morning of cleaning was shot but then they cleaned up the downstairs so that was super handy but still it's a whole lotta houseguests so blogging is taking backseat today so can we all just take a moment and laugh our heads off at the picture because HOLY SNAP I love it.

Happy Thursday!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014


GPOYW - The Look You Get When Your Daughter Inexplicably Starts Playing Techno Versions Of The Dora The Explorer Theme Song on Spotify - edition.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

not bad

So Thing 3 is a total thorn in the poor Dude's side - well, all if ours, lately. It's just what I've learned is the nature of toddlers. They are cuter than babies and more terrifying than banshees. It's just the nature of it all. WonderGirl survived the Dude, so she gets it, but the Dude is getting the full brunt of it. He has moments where he genuinely works at kindness, but it doesn't come naturally. I'm cool with that - the fact that he's willing to work is a mammoth feat and I'll take it!  

So when I saw Thing 3 crawl up and over the Dude this morning, I expected fireworks. But.... miracle of miracles, this happened!!  

There may have even been a cuddle or two!!  AH-MAZING!!!!!  I don't expect a repeat or even civility any time soon, but it was long enough for pictorial evidence - and that's all I need for future brainwashing. "Hey Dude!  Remember how much you loooove Thing 3?  I do, seeeeee???"

And THAT is how you parent.  

Monday, November 17, 2014


I have amazing friends. Like, I don't deserve these people. at. all.  I was cleaning out a cabinet a a found this sweet gem a bestie gave me a good 13 years ago:

A mini fondue kit??  Perfection. These people have terrible taste in besties, but awesome taste in gifts. 

Last week I was having a bummer of a time, and one night - a friend who had no idea of my bummer-itude, stopped by and dropped off a tin of homemade cookies and this insanely awesome and sweet card:

These women have actual lives, children, jobs, clean houses, and still manage to make my day. Heck, I can't manage anything besides the kids.  I'm just in awe. 

So this morning, another friend - who also has dropped off treats and sweet thoughts, has left parties to come console me, dragged me out of the house for GNOs, listened to me rant and built me up repeatedly- called me up in a panic and cancelled our morning plans so she could take care of a sick child. 

Now of all times, I thought, THIS is a time I can finally pay it forward. I'm seriously horrible at gift giving, but I had a free morning and some spare cards and gift bags, so I wrote a note, and slipped it in a bag with the most thoughtful gift I could think of - my last Hostess cupcake. I wrangled Thing 3 into the car and....

My car key was gone. This is the last one we have for that car because I lost the last one. I'd just had it, too. I was all ready to be a good human, and instead I spent the rest of the morning crawling my house with a flashlight, terrified of have to actually clean it to find the key (by the way, I lost the other one in the house and it's still here somewhere... so there was a chance this one was lost foreverrrrrrrr.)

I found it a few hours later, but by that time her crisis had been averted and Thing 3 had gone down for a nap.  Dagnabit.  Just once, I could have done it.  I knew where she was and what she likes. Oh, for the love of a freakin' van key.  I left it by her house later when I was picking up the kids, but someday I hope I can be there at the moment - even the teensiest bit  - as much as my friends have been for me.

No joke, guys - thanks for friend-slumming it with me!!!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

nothing to see here, folks

I have been on pins and needles since 5am, waiting for any news about Jane and Tarzan's Cheeta - and he joined us here on earth this morning before 9am, and holy moley, the pictures that i've been texted and then have been forward between all the family members are A-FREAKING-DORABLE.  I'm sure she'll blog them soon so I will wait and let her unveil all the goodness, but that baby has LEGS!!  Like, cute, full legs!  Mine always came out with little like frog legs and eventually filled in enough to look like a human.  Ugh, and the pictures of my big brother and his baby boy have turned me into a blubbering mess.  There is nothing more beautiful than that. 

But if you click on over to her blog, you'll find a post today about a cool dinner she cooked a few days ago.  Yes, in preparation for Cheeta being born, not only did she nest her house, but she pre-wrote entries to pop up every day so she won't miss a NaBloPoMo day.

Jane just won blogging, people.  When I told the husband that, he asked me when the last time I'd blogged from an actual computer and not on my phone while I'm laying in bed and falling asleep (if you look at the last entry, that gibberish at the end is actually something I typed while I was asleep.  I don't know when I hit publish, but I did!)  So I checked - and the last time I blogged responsibly and computer-ally, it was November 7th.  9 days ago.

But not today!  I'm on the laptop while the husband is off bishop-ing and the kids are watching an Old Testament cartoon.

Of course now... I have nothing to say....

Alright, when in doubt, spout out a few random opinions on things. 

Country music.  NO.  NO.

I hate terra cotta pottery.  It makes my skin crawl.

I used to throw a handful of shredded cheese on a George Foreman grill ('memba those??) and cook it until it was all crispy.  I called it a cheese waffle.  It was magical.

I'm afraid my kids are supposed to do athletic-y things, but I have no idea where to start, what to expect out of them or what to try.  I did basketball and soccer with the Dude and WonderGirl, and they were not things they wished to repeat.  But just because I'm a lazy bum doesn't mean they should be.

I used to LIVE on the phone.  Now, I talk to my mom, and on rare occasion, I answer when one of my besties calls, but that's about it.  I'm trying, but somehow I turned into an introvert.  Don't laugh, it's true.  Maybe we all go through intro/extro phases in our lives.  It's hard to carry on a conversation when you can't hear the other person.

I like ice in my water glass, NOT the roads.  I forgot that now that it's winter and the roads are always moist, I have to drive the speed limit.  I've been swerving all over the road since the snow hit Friday.  Thank heavens none of the other 8 people who live here were on the road.

Nursery is officially the best calling in the church.  For me.  Right now.  I'd actually totally love to go back to Primary music, but this works too.  Less prep, more snacking.  And one of the kids who hates everything sat on my lap for a snuggle today!  Winning!

I am still afraid of alligators under my bed.

Thing 3 is screaming his head off, so I'm going to go.  But see, a post before 10pm today!!  It's a miracle!!


Saturday, November 15, 2014


Jane and my brother Tarzan have been married for 13 fabulous years, and now it's a party of 3 with Cheeta!!!!!  Guys, she's so level headed and pragmatic, and she's taken all of this in serious stride. Luckily, Tarzan and I are a lot more hysterical, because I think this occasion calls for some serious hysterics. I hope he's totally freaking out right now!  I totally would be but I'm typing this in bed and the husband is asleep but still snuggling me -and he's a light sleeper, so I have to be still. But still!!!!  THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!

I was going to try and pontificate and be less mopey, but I can't do anything justice given the present news. Today deserves fireworks!!!  Instead, I'll offer up these two miracles:  

All of the sudden, this boy who was unable to hold a pencil last year, has developed the muscles and confidence to start writing. Just trying to write his name would send him over the edge because his hands didn't have the dexterity or strength.  Yesterday I saw him writing on his own and tried to act calm, but then I saw he was writing a comic!!  I asked him to tell me the story before he forgot so I could write it in and  cherish this moment foreverandeverandeverandevereverever.  

He's used up so much paper in the last 24 hours é, but my practical, non- wasting side has taken a vacay and hysterical me is having a field day. The Dude CANZ!!

I woke up yesterday sobbing and just laid in the floor, totally overwhelmed by the task of raising him. But then, these things happen. He is so, so special. 

I can do this. At least he has style!

Good luck atarzanvwbf kavtx

Friday, November 14, 2014

what language do they speak?

(I'm posting in bed from my phone and can't embed the vid. I'll do it in the morning like a nice blogger.)

We took this almost a year ago at it cracks me up for the entire 9 minutes and 41 seconds every. time. He'd been binge watching Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman and was on a game show host kick. 

It's a good reminder for me today. To remember that the Dude makes like worth living. We moved to Wisconsin for him, I'm sure of it. We're here right now for him, too. Sometimes, like this morning, I'm so overwhelmed by the idea of raising him that I can hardly breathe. I mean, the idea of raising a human period is terrifying, let alone 3 wacky outliers. The internets are forever, so I haven't documented all we're going through with all 3 out of respect to my mother, who is justifiably horrified at my lack of privacy. But oh... we've been SO blessed, I shouldn't complain. But it IS hard, mostly just being the one in charge of making life-altering decisions for them. They don't fit a single mold, and they haven't been forced to, either, which is super awesome. But life gets more complicated, and I have to prepare them for that.... but holy snap, how?? 

Tomorrow I'll be super wacky. That's not an excuse give you, like ugh, I'll post something better - I promise. It's a promise to me to force me out if my quasi Quasimodo-style isolation. I SHALL BE INTETESTING, ANON.