So here’s the thing.  The Dude is 18 months and only has about 4 words he generally uses.  The “list” says he should have 5.  So the doctor referred us to an early intervention/education program to have him evaluated, just in case.

Now, I know what you’re thinking - I’m thinking it too - “My kid/nephew/that boy who lived across the street didn’t say a word until they were 2 and they are just fine.  President of a bank, even.”  Yes, boys can speak later.  But I do get why they have a program like this, because what if a kid isn’t speaking at 18 months and there’s actually some kind of problem - isn’t it better to have it checked out sooner than spend the next 6-12 months saying “but my kid/nephew/that boy who lived across the street spoke late - it’s fine” and then find out they actually DO have a problem and it could have been helped with earlier speech therapy?  It’s insanely documented that early treatment and education is super successful the younger it is implemented.  So I get it.  I support it, I do.

The lady who came to check the Dude out, plus the doctor said he’s insanely normal every other developmental way (sigh.. normal… that’s another issue…) so getting his speech looked at is just precautionary.  She was here for over an hour and he flirted up a storm.

Except just as she was leaving, the evaluation lady commented that he sure did like to stuff things in his mouth.  True, this kid loves to gum up everything within arm’s reach at times.  He’s personally eaten an entire set of Sesame Street board books.  She thought about it, and “just in case” scheduled an occupational therapist to come out and check that out - “It might be some kind of sensory issue.”  To which of course I have taken that information in, looked things up on the internet and decided IT IS THE APOCALYPSE.  Because I’m calm and collected like that.

Seriously.  When he’s hungry or bored, he starts gnawing on things.  I should probably feed him more, but that’s another issue entirely.  Thing is, WonderGirl was born impatient, wanting to talk and not wanting to eat.  She’s my freakin’ clone.  The Dude was born happy, and hungry, and in no hurry to say anything that anyone could understand.  What on earth am I supposed to do with that???  Who IS this kid and where did he come from????

Oh, and then I look more on the internet - take all these sensory tests, and now I’m a complete basket case.  He loves to be cuddled, or tickled?  He likes spinning and running in circles ever now and then??  These could possibly be bad.  BAD.  But when he does spin or around he does it for his own amusement and laughs his head off the entire time.  And when you do tickle him he acts happy… he’s just so dang happy all the time, how am I supposed to find out if his brain is wired correctly if he’s so dang happy and sweet all the time??  That’s not normal, or is it????  I just have to wait for these therapy people to come and explain things to me, because left to my own devices I’m about to start running down the street pelting the neighbor’s houses with eggs.  Don’t judge, it just seems like the rational thing to do in this situation.