Think about it - it's Pavlovian. Every time I stop in public and talk to another person, my kids start flopping all over the ground or running out a door so I'm distracted and I say whatever is on the front of my brain without thinking (which is a dangerous zone) and then I feel awful afterwards because a) the kids did something completely mortifying or b) I said something completely mortifying. So now when the phone rings or a person looks at me to talk, I literally get sick to my stomach.
I hate social stuff. I only want to talk to my mom, my kids, the dude I married and a small assortment of college friends and family members. I'm TURNING INTO MY HUSBAND.
I even get a little nauseous when people who aren't those people text me and expect texts in return.
I just got called to the nursery at church and I am SO FREAKING EXCITED about it. I thought I'd hate it but I love it. I've been in the presidency of 3 other organizations in less than 4 years and all I want is to be locked up in a room with toddlers who I don't have to make small talk with. And if they freak out at the dumb stuff I say, they'll just roll around on the floor and scream. And THAT is something I can handle.
And then coming up with a witty ending to blog posts is just... dang. I'm freaking out. No joke.
WHO AM I AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH ME??