Don’t Peak in High School. Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing going on in their current life. What I’ve noticed is that no one who was a big star in high school is also a big star later in life, except athletes. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair. I was never the lead in the play. I don’t think I went to a single party with alcohol at it. No on shared pot with me. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I even knew marijuana and pot were the same thing. My parents didn’t let me do social things on weeknights because weeknights were for homework, and maybe an an episode of The X-Files if I was being a good kid (X-Files was on Friday night), and on extremely rare occasions I could watch Seinfeld (Thursday, a school night), if I just aced my PSATs or something. I had a great time in high school, but it wasn’t the high school experience you seen on teen dramas, where people are in serious romantic relationships, and hanging out in parking lots or whatever (isn’t that loitering?). I had fun in my academic clubs, watching movies with my girlfriends, learning Latin, having long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn’t know me, and yes, hanging out with my family. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much only have eighteen years to spend with them full-time and that’s it. So yeah, it all added up to a happy, memorable time. Even though I was never a star. Because I was largely ignored at school, I watched everyone like an observant weirdo, not unlike Eugene Levy’s character Dr. Allan Pearl, from Waiting for Guffman, who famously “sat next to the class clown, and studied him.” But I did that with everyone. It has helped me so much as a writer you have no idea. I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up. So many people I worth with—famous actors, accomplish writers—were overlooked in high school. Be like Allan Pearl. Sit next to the class clown and study him. Then grow up, take everything you learn, and get paid to be a real-life class clown, unlike whatever unexciting thing the actual high school class clown is doing now. I think our class clown is doing marketing in Warwick, Connecticut.

Don’t Peak in High School.

Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing going on in their current life. What I’ve noticed is that no one who was a big star in high school is also a big star later in life, except athletes. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.

I was never the lead in the play. I don’t think I went to a single party with alcohol at it. No on shared pot with me. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I even knew marijuana and pot were the same thing. My parents didn’t let me do social things on weeknights because weeknights were for homework, and maybe an an episode of The X-Files if I was being a good kid (X-Files was on Friday night), and on extremely rare occasions I could watch Seinfeld (Thursday, a school night), if I just aced my PSATs or something. I had a great time in high school, but it wasn’t the high school experience you seen on teen dramas, where people are in serious romantic relationships, and hanging out in parking lots or whatever (isn’t that loitering?). I had fun in my academic clubs, watching movies with my girlfriends, learning Latin, having long, protracted, unrequited crushes on older guys who didn’t know me, and yes, hanging out with my family. I liked hanging out with my family! Later, when you’re grown up, you realize you never get to hang out with your family. You pretty much only have eighteen years to spend with them full-time and that’s it. So yeah, it all added up to a happy, memorable time. Even though I was never a star.

Because I was largely ignored at school, I watched everyone like an observant weirdo, not unlike Eugene Levy’s character Dr. Allan Pearl, from Waiting for Guffman, who famously “sat next to the class clown, and studied him.” But I did that with everyone. It has helped me so much as a writer you have no idea.

I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quiet, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up. So many people I worth with—famous actors, accomplish writers—were overlooked in high school. Be like Allan Pearl. Sit next to the class clown and study him. Then grow up, take everything you learn, and get paid to be a real-life class clown, unlike whatever unexciting thing the actual high school class clown is doing now. I think our class clown is doing marketing in Warwick, Connecticut.

Excerpt from Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

(via rufustfirefly)

How many interviews did I give and say, ‘You know what’s important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids’? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, ‘You don’t need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.’ Well, I’m the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, ‘Enough is enough—it’s getting dangerous and somebody’s going to get hurt.’ I should have, but I didn’t. Honestly, I didn’t know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere.

How many interviews did I give and say, ‘You know what’s important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids’? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, ‘You don’t need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.’ Well, I’m the first guy to say to them right now: You were right. I should have been a better parent. I should have said, ‘Enough is enough—it’s getting dangerous and somebody’s going to get hurt.’ I should have, but I didn’t. Honestly, I didn’t know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere.
Billy Ray Cyrus (side note - when I was in middle school there was a harpist in our orchestra who couldn’t afford a full sized hard yet, so she played a small Irish one.  I wrote her a song called “My Itsy Bitsy Harp” to the tune of “Achy Breaky Heart.”  I’m still immensely proud of it.)

I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.

I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.
Marjorie Pay Hinckley (via findingjoyinthejourney)

Alcohol makes people sad. It’s like the Lifetime movie of beverages.

Alcohol makes people sad. It’s like the Lifetime movie of beverages.
Troy on Community.  AWESOME episode.

Faith is not only a feeling; it is a decision.

Faith is not only a feeling; it is a decision.
Elder Neil L. Anderson’s 2008 October General Conference address, You Know Enough.

Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here.

Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here.
Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (via jeffersoncampbell)

Remember: the heavens will not be filled with those who never made mistakes, but with those who recognized that they were off course and who corrected their ways to get back in the light of gospel truth.

Remember: the heavens will not be filled with those who never made mistakes, but with those who recognized that they were off course and who corrected their ways to get back in the light of gospel truth.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf (via findingjoyinthejourney)

When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration….It’s in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals.

When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration….It’s in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (via jeffersoncampbell rjwalker)

Perfect for a Monday, methinks.

No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.

No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.
Jeffrey R Holland (via rjwalker)

WonderGirl: Daddy, are you allergic to penguins? Husband: Um… I don’t think so. WG: Then can we have a pet penguin?

WonderGirl: Daddy, are you allergic to penguins?
Husband: Um… I don’t think so.
WG: Then can we have a pet penguin?
We breed geniuses.

It’s not denial. I’m just very selective about the reality I accept.

It’s not denial. I’m just very selective about the reality I accept.
Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes)  (via hunsonisgroovy)

I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog’s name. Then Í said, “Does he bite?”. She said “No.” And I said, “Oh yeah? Then how does he eat? … Liar.

I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog’s name. Then Í said, “Does he bite?”. She said “No.” And I said, “Oh yeah? Then how does he eat? … Liar.
Demitri Martin (via wonderwall-)

The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan.

The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan.
Ebert!!! on the new twilight %$#%. (via goldenfiddle,halffiction,inothernews,anonanimal)

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Dear Mr. President,

There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Grandpa Simpson (via hunsonisgroovy)

Convince them of the reality of spiritual things. First teach them that “the spirit and the body are the soul of man” (D&C 88:15). Man is a dual being, a spirit within a mortal body. It is difficult to teach about the intangible, spiritual part. But there are ways to do it. For example, your students know about computers. A personal computer made of metal, plastic, glass, and a dozen other materials will hold an astonishing amount of information. All of the standard works can be stored there, and in addition, sets of encyclopedias, dictionaries, books on a whole library of subjects, even illustrations and mathematical formulas. With the press of a few keys, one can select any part of what is stored and see it instantly on a screen. One may, by pressing a few more keys, rearrange, add to, or subtract from what is stored in the computer. Press another key or two and you can print a copy of whatever you desire, even in full color. You then can hold in your hand tangible, absolute proof of what is inside there and how it is arranged. If, however, you should take the computer completely apart, you could not find one word of it, not one illustration, not one tangible evidence that there are volumes, verses, poems, and illustrations inside the computer. You could dissolve the computer with acids or burn it and you would not find one tangible word of evidence. You could no more find words in the ashes of a computer than you can find the spirit in the ashes of a cremated human body. No one doubts that this great base of information is actually stored in the computer. It should not be too difficult to teach each youngster that there is within the human body a spirit. Notwithstanding that it is invisible and intangible, it is the very essence of reality. You can, in context of the gospel plan, explain what that spirit is. Let me say that again. You can, in context of the gospel plan, explain what that spirit is, where it came from, and what the destiny of each of us is. Teach them to know that each is “the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in [them]” (1 Corinthians 3:16).

Convince them of the reality of spiritual things. First teach them that “the spirit and the body are the soul of man” (D&C 88:15). Man is a dual being, a spirit within a mortal body. It is difficult to teach about the intangible, spiritual part. But there are ways to do it. For example, your students know about computers. A personal computer made of metal, plastic, glass, and a dozen other materials will hold an astonishing amount of information. All of the standard works can be stored there, and in addition, sets of encyclopedias, dictionaries, books on a whole library of subjects, even illustrations and mathematical formulas. With the press of a few keys, one can select any part of what is stored and see it instantly on a screen. One may, by pressing a few more keys, rearrange, add to, or subtract from what is stored in the computer. Press another key or two and you can print a copy of whatever you desire, even in full color. You then can hold in your hand tangible, absolute proof of what is inside there and how it is arranged.

If, however, you should take the computer completely apart, you could not find one word of it, not one illustration, not one tangible evidence that there are volumes, verses, poems, and illustrations inside the computer. You could dissolve the computer with acids or burn it and you would not find one tangible word of evidence. You could no more find words in the ashes of a computer than you can find the spirit in the ashes of a cremated human body. No one doubts that this great base of information is actually stored in the computer. It should not be too difficult to teach each youngster that there is within the human body a spirit. Notwithstanding that it is invisible and intangible, it is the very essence of reality. You can, in context of the gospel plan, explain what that spirit is. Let me say that again. You can, in context of the gospel plan, explain what that spirit is, where it came from, and what the destiny of each of us is. Teach them to know that each is “the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in [them]” (1 Corinthians 3:16).

Boyd K. Packer, on teaching children - the best explaination I’ve heard on the nature of a spirit.

Children crave routine as much as they create chaos. It is their job to be a burden, and ours to shoulder it. We owe them this: a warm bed to nestle into every night, milk in the kitchen for breakfast. Eyes even when they don’t think we’re watching. The quiet, simple peace of always knowing they are loved.

Children crave routine as much as they create chaos. It is their job to be a burden, and ours to shoulder it. We owe them this: a warm bed to nestle into every night, milk in the kitchen for breakfast. Eyes even when they don’t think we’re watching. The quiet, simple peace of always knowing they are loved.
From a great post by Sweet Juniper!. If you want to get a snapshot of what it’s like to have kids, read this. (via guy)

It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.

It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.
Randy Pausch - Last Lecture (via myserendipities)

Me: Do you know how much I love you?? WonderToddler: How much? Me: I love you more than.. ice cream! WT: I love you more than … Daddy! Me: Heh heh.

Me: Do you know how much I love you??

WonderToddler: How much?

Me: I love you more than.. ice cream!

WT: I love you more than … Daddy!

Me: Heh heh.

I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.

I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.

Kanye West

Preach to them brother Kanye.

(via ooliquidnightoo)

HAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

Well, you know the old saying - show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.

Well, you know the old saying - show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.
Tom Brokaw on the news tonight, when asked if Hilary and Bill would really forgive and support Obama.  (did he really say that??  Uhhuh!)