Midnight.
Can’t sleep.
Nervous, twitchy, anxious.
Rammed my van into our truck today.
Not horrible, but dagnabit I liked having a pretty car… and then I screwed it up.
Also, dear, dear friend is getting married.
So excited.
Can’t WAIT to be in the wedding!!
Nauseous about scheduling…
How do I manage to get there with enough time to help and play when I think we have a gig the day before?
How do I find a week to be there and celebrate and help when I have a almost 2 year old to care for?
SHE’S TURNING 2 THIS WEEKEND.
How did this happen??
It’s getting so good, but it’s going too fast.. I’m not taping enough, not catching enough memories…
I have survived 2 years of motherhood!!!
My birthday is next week, but I don’t look forward to my birthday anymore.
Moms need to give great birthdays and I have to have everything just right for her, but it then reminds me of my birthday 2 years ago, right after she was born.
It haunts me how bad life was back then.
I still have nightmares. It still makes me cry when I think about my birthday.
She’s so different, I can’t keep up with the wonderful changes every day.
I also can’t get her to brush her teeth.
I really need to get my hair colored red again. BRIGHT this time.
I had a dream SH didn’t love me anymore last night.
Gah, those dreams are SO awful, they make me sick all day!
I cleaned the house today.
I’m so bad at it, and I HATE it.
I hate that I hate it.
I am such a crummy wife.
Wives who don’t have regular jobs should clean the house.
My tummy hurts.
We’re going to visit my nephew this weekend - Quinn and Megan’s son.
He’s doing so much better than the rest of us.
He’s with his cousins - they don’t watch TV or eat sugar.
WonderToddler won’t know what happened to her.
I’d think I wasn’t a horrible mom if she wasn’t such a freaky genius.
So they don’t eat sugar and it’s WT’s birthday - what do you do instead of cake??
I really have no idea.
I wish SH wasn’t asleep.
I really want a snuggle and a “I love you so much even though you broke the car and call me up at work all the time to scream about how psychotic your daughter is or how there is a chipmunk in the basement.”
Oh, and I could totally go for some rowwwwrrrr action. Right now.
Stupid sleep.
Why am I not asleep?
Why am I so nervous and jumpy?
I don’t want to sleep because I’ve had nightmares every night for days now.
Stupid brain.
It doesn’t work all day long, but it decides to work when I need to sleep and makes hoooorible dreams for me?
The bridesmaid dress is going to look so bad on me.
It’s totally outfit for a petite cute gal.
Like ALL the other bridesmaids, all 5 or more inches shorter than me.
I’m such a gangly Amazon, I’m going to look SO out of place.
I will just avoid mirrors!
And wear a HUUUGE bra.
Stupid brain, I’m thinking about THIS instead of sleeping??
I’m going to go hit myself in the head with a hammer.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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