brain bullet list

1. My head cold/pounding sinus headache and snot producing episode is now approaching 2 weeks. 2 weeks.  How on earth is that fair??  Also, the kids are goopy, but husband - who has refused to stop smooching me - has stayed well.  I take more vitamins than him.  The injustice is getting to the point that I’m thinking of recruiting Al Sharpton to champion my cause.

2. I’m slightly glad facebook has gone all skeewumpas.  I’m much less tempted to be on it, and more tempted to live an actual life.  And though my actual life has far less human interaction, it also has far fewer ALL CAPS NOTIFICATIONS THAT REPOSTING SOMETHING CAN PROVE MY LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR ALL THINGS AND ALSO MAKE STUFF MAGICALLY FREE.  

3. My birthday is coming up and I’m seriously thinking of asking for Spanx.  Really.  I miss a flat stomach, and these sit-ups are not doing a durn thing.

4. I love the blogging stuff and I’m pretty sure the only person who has blogged longer than me is Dooce.  But I’ve never had a consistent comment thingamajig in my over 10 years blogging and it is REALLY annoying.  I love Tumblr, but I have no idea why Disqus won’t let 70% of people who come here post anything.  Do I really have to make the move to WordPress or Blogger?  I really cannot understand WP, and I already have a few blogs with Blogger.  It feels “meh,” whereas I prefer my personal blog to feel “WHEEE!!”  Although actually being able to have people comment would feel pretty WHEEEEEE…

5.  I’m going home for Thanksgiving, where I have not one, but 2 fresh-from-heaven nephews!  I’ve never really been so excited about getting new relatives of the baby variety, but in my defense, I’ve never really liked babies anyway.  For some reason, I’m totally pumped to squish these guys!  I’m getting better about being bitter at seeing other people have a decent non-suicidal transition into motherhood (and getting to give birth in a nice place like America that also has a Target and where they live within the same time zone as family).  So that’s helping.

6. This sounds grumpy.  I’m not TERRIBLY grumpy.  I think it’s the snot talking.

tmi mommyness

Holy snap so remember how the Dude has done the poo in the potty thing well it’s always when I catch him grunting like he’s about ready to go and I’m like “let’s go to the potty!” and he runs up there and he’s all excited because I read him books and he gets candy and he likes books and candy and then snuggles and praise who doesn’t like snuggles and praise so anyways yesterday he came up to me saying “potty potty!” and I took him up there and he’d already gone in his diaper but I figured that’s a big step that he knew he’d gone and associated that with the bathroom so whoop whoop I was all happy for that well then today he grabs my hand and drags me to the bathroom saying “potty potty!” and when we get there his diaper was dry so we sat there reading books and stuff and then HE WENT IN THE TOILET YES THAT’S RIGHT HE TOLD ME HE HAD TO GO AND THEN HE DID HOLY SNAP I’M SO EXCITED AND SLIGHTLY HORRIFIED THAT MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE THIS PARAGRAPH IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK.

trip ticks

I’m almost done tying up all my loose ends so I can go to New York City in two days and turn my brain completely off. Just look at everything, eat everything, take pictures of everything, and walk hand in hand with my sweetheart. The idea is completely surreal.

Except it just occurred to me that I’ll be away from my kids for 3 whole days. They’ll be in excellent hands, but I’ve never spent this much time away from the kids. With husband. They will be away from us. They are never away from us. And though I know logically I should embrace this, I’m having an involuntary urge to hide under my bed. So now I’m fighting this urge and I’m feeling jittery. This is not the point of a vacation. How do I get my brain and my stomach on the same page??

Motherhood is complicated.

a prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray Mother Nature my state to obliterate. I mean, if you were planning on sending a typhoon here at some point, tomorrow would be nice because then I wouldn’t have to go down to Madison and chaperone a youth dance, standing there for 3 hours, looking almost as awkward as the teens because I don’t know any of the adults and they all know each other and don’t talk to me so I spend all night playing on my phone and pretending I’m totally not uncomfortable. I’d settle for a blackout, or a monsoon. I’m not picky.

Amen.

this modern life

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just like people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey … delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” 
— Jenkin Lloyd Jones

This quote gets to me. The history of the world is an amazing thing - we went from living in caves, nothing, to this world of cars, cellphones, indoor plumbing, medicine, grocery stores and machines that can weave pantyhose.  It’s amazing!  I benefit every day from people who thought up and achieved amazing things.  And then there’s me.  I won’t ever do anything to benefit millions of people.  I feel like a taker - a user of what the world has to offer.  And the world needs people like me - it wouldn’t function without it!  (Yes Sanny, right now I’m thinking of that go-getter quote too).

But every now and then it gets to me.  A guilt, maybe?  The feeling that I’ve been given so much by this cool modern life and I’ll never give that much back to it.  And I know it’s best to not fret over that fact - just do the best I can with what I’ve got and enjoy it that.  But… the guilt… who is with me on this one?

i REALLY wish homeschooling was an option

But she was so happy to go this morning and I love to see her happy….. though I don’t think I’ll ever stop crying. No, I’m not exaggerating. NEVER.

the Economist's top 10 most livable cities in the world

via tiredandinspird:

10. Auckland, New Zealand

9. Adelaide, Australia

8. Perth, Australia

7. Helsinki, Finland

6. Sydney, Australia

5. Calgary, Canada

4. Toronto, Canada

3. Vancouver Canada

2. Vienna, Austria

1. Melbourne, Australia

I’ve been to #1, #2, #4, #6, and #9 (and the airport of #10 :) and lemme tell you, I’d move to any of them in a heartbeat.  Like today.  NOW!!!!!

this might seem like a tmi post...

… but I’m a mom, so it’s expected.  The Dude just pooped and peed in the potty for the first time!!!!!!!  For you non-parents out there, this is a HUGE deal.  Most of all I now know that without a shadow of a doubt that my son will do ANYTHING for candy and snuggles.  ANYTHING.

a bad start for Monday

It’s Monday.  School starts for WonderGirl on Thursday.  I’ve been doing okay.  I got the morning preschool I wanted so we can still have violin/piano/playtime in the afternoon while the Dude is napping, plus there’s no school Wednesday.  That thought has kept me afloat.  Except this morning I realized next year she’ll be in ALL day school.  Every day.  How will we practice??  How will I stand having her gone from me for so long every day until she’s 18 and she leaves me forever holy snap I can’t breathe.

overheard in my kitchen

Scene: At the table as a family for dinner. The wife is gushing about the upcoming trip to the Big City.

Wife: We only have a few weeks to plan - we have to get every single thing perfect!!

Husband: Why?

Wife: Are you kidding me?? A vacation? Without children? To NEW YORK?? This is a once in a lifetime thing!!

Husband: No, it’s not. We’ll do crazy stuff again.

Wife: Okay, true, but this is a still HUGE and we have to plan every second exactly right. We have to get the most out of every moment and see everything and do everything and…

Husband, interrupting: I don’t know what you are planning to see, but I’m mostly going for the shopping and food.

stunned silence

Wife: …That.is.the.sexiest.thing.a.man.has.ever.said.

She melts into a puddle on the floor as she realizes she is married to the most perfect man on earth.

aaaaaaand scene.

nothing to see here, keep it moving, folks

I always knew I needed to have more than one child.  I felt if I was really going to have a family, I was going to work through my crazy and go all out.  Give my kids someone to commiserate in with in therapy when they grow up and realize their mother was a complete lunatic.  

Of course, once I became a parent it became VERY clear that I had my work cut out for me.  Physically, chemically, emotionally, I’ve found I had challenges I had previously not imagined.  I’m thanking my lucky stars that that’s ALL I’ve had to deal with.  I know it could be much, much worse.

So anywho, when WonderGirl was about 18 months I started praying to know when the right time to add to my brood would be.  I just asked when the right time was, that was all.  And I didn’t get an answer for a while, but when I did I knew it was right.  As scary as it was to go though the horror that was becoming a mom the first time around - oh, and and us having to up and move AGAIN during my last trimester, I felt peace.  I knew it was right.

The timing was perfect for WonderGirl.  She was potty trained, and was ready to go to daycare 2 mornings a week so I could have some time to learn all about the Dude.  It was an adjustment, but like I said, God’s timing has a way of being just right.

The Dude is a whole different animal.  He has other strengths that I’m just discovering.  When I look at where WG was at his age, and where he is, the difference is shocking - but at the same time, I’ve been there for his progress and I see his pace - it’s not as fast, but every day I can actually watch him use all his mental and physical energy to break though and accomplish or learn something new.  It’s like watching the strength of a mountain climber - and I’m in awe.  He is amazing.

I’ve been praying to know if this is it.  The Dude needs a lot more hands-on involvement to learn which I LOVE to do bytheby, and the thought of having a baby while I’m working my brains out trying to get him consistently verbal makes my head spin.  I pray to know what I should do - and I’m not getting any answers.  I feel like I’m climbing the mountain along with the Dude, and we aren’t to a resting point yet.  It’s close, I can TASTE it, but we’re not there and I have no idea when we will be.

(aside - remember how I got WG’s first consistent words to be “please” and “thank you” because I’m one tough broad?  He’s there!!!!  He says “Thanks Mom!” about 600 times a day without prompting, without begging - and SO cheerfully… I feel like I’ve won an Olympic medal, seriously.)

I’m just typing this out because I needed to see it.  Having another one is still very much an option, but I sure wish I could get a clear answer. Something like opening up my scriptures one day and reading “And behold, I decree that my servant Reva shall only be allowed two children to traumatize.”  I’d be totally okay with that.  Or “Yea, verily I say, Reva needeth to have another child, despite her obvious mental instability.”  Or even “Patience - thy Dude shall be prepared for a new sibling on such-and-such date, so stoppeth the freaking and chillax.” I’m cool with all of these options.

But I open up my scriptures and I get stuff like Thou shalt not ^amuzzle the ox when he treadeth out the ^bcorn.  (Deuteronomy 25:4) 

That’s not helping.  

ima just gonna post this here

In response to my dear Jane and Cellogirl, who were all “maybe I should jump ship to Tumblr cuz Reva’s new layout is purtier than the Bloggerz” - let me give you reasons why Tumblr is the awesome:

• Audio posts.  YEAH.


• Really fantastic layout options (called themes) that you can personalize easier in HTML than Blogger.  And they look way cooler than all those cutesy things made for Blogger too - but that’s just my personal preference.  HTML wrangling in Blogger or Wordpress is for folks who are smarter and cooler than I.


• The interface is all glossy and cool looking.  Blogger looks like an office park.

Um… Okay, that’s really why I dig it here.

Why Blogger is what I’m still using for my family blog:

• You know how you can post pictures in your entries?  Not so easily done in Tumblr.  You can post pics at the top, but if you want to add more in the entry, you have to save them in Flickr or Picassa or some other lovely URL makey thingy.  Not hard to do, just a little more effort.


• All those widgets and links on the side of your blog?  Blogger OWNS that show.  In Tumblr if you want ‘em, you do it all HTML manually.  Which is why my blogroll is crazy and hopelessly out of date.  It’s not hard to do, it just takes more than the 4 seconds it takes in Blogger.  And I have cable TV, so my free time is pretty much gone.


• Commenting.  Blogger has it, it’s easy to use because you don’t have to do anything really/  Tumblr doesn’t have a commenting option, so you go and use Disqus which you have to manually add to the HTML (although not always, if the layout/theme you pick has it built in) and sometimes it can be a total pill.  

They have stuff in common, like the ability to have multiple blogs and stuff.  And you can blog from your phone by apps or even texting if you want with either.  With Tumblr you can even do an audio post by calling in from your phone!  I did that once and had my brother play some violin for you.  And you can have stick your posts up on your FB or Twitter which I think you can do with Blogger as well.

So that’s why I’m here.  I mean, I’ve been blogging for over 10 years - I have some pretty big opinions on whats I likes.  For a family blog with lots of pictures, Blogger isn’t as pretty, but it’s easy in its own way.  And for my personal blog, Tumblr is just right for my shallow I-like-shiny-things side.  That being said, if you WANT to follow me to the dark side, you’re more than welcome to join me - and I’m here for free tech support 24/7 :)  Oh, and I made the header with Picnik.  Which is awesomesauce times infinity.

o hai

Didja notice the new layout thingy?  A new layout day is as awesome as a haircut day.  Whee!!  Awesome points:

• Larger pics and videos.  


• Share button.  Right there at the bottom right of the post.  Yeah, you dig it, you can Facebook, Tweet or Google# it.  I JUST BLEW MY OWN MIND.


• Random button at the top.  In the mood to play Russian Roulette with old Reva posts?  BLAM.


• It’s pretty.

Yay!

america is

having your daughter tell the check-out lady at the grocery store who you are going to vote for and having said lady suddenly stop chatting with you, and then you walking to the car feeling bad that the lady had been offended, but as you finish piling kids and food, you are greeted by that same but now breathless lady who had gone and run all over the sprawling parking lot to find you and give you a bag of groceries you’d accidentally left behind in the store.

I wish our elected officials had that level of civility.

title here is

I downloaded a songwriting app that lets you play guitar chord progressions with your phone. I am not impressed, but I am amused. It has some preset chord progressions to familiar pop tunes - but “U Belong With I” by Tailor Fast had me stumped for a minute.

Got it yet? Oh Engrish, I love you so.

anti-social networking

I think Facebook was invented to make me feel good about my children.  There are several moms on my feed that only post negative things about their kids and being their mom.  Exclusively, and almost hourly.  I get that for them, it’s a stress reliever.  And I appreciate that they do it, because it makes me feel oh-so-much better about my own tornado-children. Who, however insane, haven’t poured chocolate syrup in my dishwasher.  Yet.

OKAYIMBACK

I’m EXHAUSTED from our trip.  That’s the sign of a good trip, I think.  I miss my parents and family like a crazy person, but at least I’m at home and not wrestling with the Dude in antique-filled historic homes.  WHEW.

So, I’m pooped and trying to climb out of piles and piles of sweaty laundry -  what do you think I’m doing tonight?  

If you guessed hosting a sleepover for the Young Women from church, you’d be right.  Am I insane?

If you guessed YES, then you are also correct.  Oh, oh - and ask me what I’m doing tomorrow AFTER said really insane idea???

If you said driving teenagers to Chicago to go to the temple there, you’d also be right.  Yeah - the drive alone is at least 7 hours round-trip.  

Am I a masochist?

APPARENTLY.

The plan tonight is Pride and Prejudice (the Kiera Knightly one - we don’t have a whole week to see the BBC one) and then the Bollywood version - Bride and Prejudice.  Some pizza making, manicure-ing, and makeovers and photobooth goodness.  Except for the makeover guru won’t be here until 10pm…. I know.  I know.

Also, I’ve been agonizing over the drive to Chicago for weeks.  That’s an all day thing, and I don’t get time off from my day job.  There is no easy temp agency to call.  Plus, since I’m taking all the teenage girls to Chicago, that means all my usual babysitters are leaving town!  I have been thinking I wouldn’t go and just hope there were enough adults to handle things, but a friend who has 3 active kids of her own offered to take mine for the day.  I’d be overjoyed, but instead I have insane guilt.  Leave my kids?  With a mom who already has 3 (plus her youngest can count for at least 3 more).

So last night, one of my young women called me and asked me accusingly if I planning on not coming to the temple because of child care.   I admitted I’d considered it, and she told me in no uncertain terms that would be unacceptable, and her sister (visiting from college) had offered to stay and watch my kids.

I may have cried.

So, I’m back, and completely batty.  How YOU doin’?

OHYESISAWHARRYPOTTER

AND IT WAS FANTASTIC AND AMAZING AND AWESOME AND INCREDIBLE AND GREAT.

Seriously, it was just right.  I totally loved it.  But this one moment did kind of mess with my head… as we were driving to the theater, I tried recapping the last movie for husband so he wouldn’t be lost.  And somewhere between “Harry and Co. are trying to find pieces of the evil wizard’s soul that he trapped in objects and destroy them so they can kill him - and they can kill those things with the magic sword impregnated with this evil snake juice that they found at the bottom of a river when this ghost-like doe thing led them to it” and “then the poor house elf who saved the people and the wandmaker and the gobblin DIED” the look on husband’s face made me realize he thinks I’m a total nerd.  I mean, something about mentioning goblins and and elves and wizards and the like… at least this time it isn’t hott teenage vampires.

t-minus 4 hours...

A few weeks ago, we had some friends over for dinner when WonderGirl came running to us, screaming bloody murder.  It sounded like she’d cut an appendage off - it was a terrifyingly honest scream.  My reaction?  I turned around and yelled at the husband and our guest to tell me what was bleeding.  I couldn’t look - I just couldn’t.  Once someone got it out of her that she was hysterical because she’d swallowed a penny, only then could I look.  It’s not insensitivity - it’s just how I’m wired.

That’s pretty much why I was dreading July 15th and the last premiere of a Harry Potter movie.  Yes, I’m a grown woman, but I’ve had something Potter-related to look forward to for over 10 years.  Heck, I went to the midnight showing of the first movie and a few others after that.  This has been a constant.  And now a not??  How on earth can I handle that??

So, I waited… the 15th came and went… the world didn’t end.  And I relaxed.  I’m not hysterical anymore - and great thing about it is, we finally get to see a movie and NOT have it left unresolved - after all these years, resolution!!  Woohoo!!  So I reread it the other day and I’m ready.  I’m going to bawl my face off, but I’m ready.  

my name is Reva, and I am a frump.

Stylewise, I’m giving up.  It’s hot, but I only own winter clothing.  I can’t shop for new clothes because I never find anything that fits me just right, and it takes WAY more attention to find those 2 things that might fit than I can give if I’m shopping with my almost 2 year old Dude.  And those 2 things are never on sale.  Plus my hair has hit the “holy snap I need to see a professional stage,” but who has the time?  So I officially give up.  I’m not bitter, I’m just giving myself permission to look like this.  Acceptance is the first step.