Monday, July 13, 2009

one of them long serious posts

I’ve lived in Wisconsin for a week.  It’s starting to hit me - this is not going to go away.  I’m here, for good, for a few years at least.  I can’t explain how much this terrifies me.


Everyone I meet here is here because they love small towns.  We’ve gone out and boy howdy are we tasting the local culture - the county fairs, demolition derby, and of course, Circus World.  It’s all charming and amusing, but it’s starting to settle in how lonely I am, and how lonely WonderToddler is getting.  Tonight during her bath she got insanely attatched to her shampoo bottle and insisted on hugging and kissing it the entire time, announcing it was her best friend.


The little kids here at church aren’t very welcoming so far.  She’s new, she’s not like them, and I witnessed to 2 year old girls last week whisper to each other that they weren’t going to be her friend and ran away from her screaming every time she came near to try and play.  It broke my heart - she is so welcoming and kind to everyone, she couldn’t understand what was going on.  Its never happened before.  And it reminds me of how often I was excluded as a girl - does she really have to look forward to that, and she’s only 2??


I can’t help but think - you girls don’t understand - this is the most wonderful girl that ever existed!  It’s probably just a mother thing, but really, I don’t think there has ever been a little girl that was quite as charming, thoughtful, entertaining, infuriating, hilarious and loving as this child.  Her name means sunshine - and it is so wonderful to see the way people light up when they meet her because she really does bring joy in the form of a heart-felt hug and kiss or a “Look what I can do!” performance of her dancing or hopping on one foot.  I mean, I didn’t really like her when I had her, what with her screaming at me constantly, and releasing her bowels and stomach contents on me regularly, and she managed to convince me, ME - the anti-kid-lover to be crazy devoted to her.  She’s got skillz, yo.


Le sigh… we have to live here - we have to make this work for the next few years.  Here’s to hoping I can make this week good.  I already scheduled a playdate with one of the mean little girls.  I figure, if she doesn’t know who we are and wants to exclude, then let’s make friends and she’ll have no excuse.  It may or may not involve candy.  I’ve learned 2 year olds can be bought.  Heck, so can 29 year olds.

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