Today’s blip from my blogging past is one of those serious posts from March 30, 2003. I was nearing the end of the first year of grad school and was dealing with the tendonitis. It was a dark period - bad relationships, the inability to play my instrument, my fight with my weight - not a time I remember fondly. I wasn’t alone though - my mom was there talking to me every day, crying along with me, and keeping me from giving up. I feel inadequate when I look at my own mothering compared to her, but I’m thankful beyond words that I have her example to live up to.
********************************************
I’m struggling everyday to be myself. To eat. To breathe and remember who I am. It’s a weird time for me… I have no violin to play and I feel lost.
But it helps when you get daily e.mails from your mom… I want to share this because it is soooo uplifting. And it’s true for many of you out there whom are loved and working towards the same goals. Enjoy, and thanks Mama Bear. I love you.
Dear Reva,
Thought I’d reiterate what I spoke of this morning. You are a powerful, worthy, wise soul. Do you have faults, weaknesses, imperfections? Who doesn’t. They haven’t stopped you from anything yet, have they?!?!? You are a warrior. You come from a family of warrior-women. We are richly blessed because we could be trusted to carry out all that our Father in Heaven asked of us. There have been stumbles along the way, that is the nature of mortality. But when we were called, we choose to accept our calling in life with all its attending challenges. Does that make you or us flawed? War wounds, maybe, but flaws? Never. Life isn’t fair…….so what. Life is good. I experienced pain, my mother did even more, and you have as well. So? Did that ever stop any of us? Never. Life is a test and you have done remarkably well so far. You are not that same little girl in kindergarten who teared up when strange, new challenges were placed before you. All that you have experienced for good or ill just adds to your well of wisdom from which you will draw to help and inspire others. For some one who has an organic need for friends, you survived incredibly well with an introverted mother and periods of time when friendships were scarce and unreliable. You are beginning to come into your own and recognize your wise and wonderful self. Your testimony is ‘da bomb’! Your figure is scrumptious. Your eyes are forever gorgeous. Your laugh is genuine. Your thoughts are pure. Your consciences is clear and sharp. You never take the easy way out. You’re a spiritual heavy weight. You’re an experienced “mountain” climber. Never doubt yourself! Besides, you come from a great family who all love and adore you and have supported you all along the way. Some day you will discover the man who can match you on all these levels and more, and he will recognize your war wounds for what they are - badges of honor.
Your Father in Heaven loves you no matter what.
Your mother and father and brothers love you no matter what.
Your friends love you no matter what.
Don’t settle for anything less.
Don’t forget who you are.
Don’t doubt yourself.
Carpe diem, sweetie.
Love,
yo mama
No comments:
Post a Comment