Thursday, October 7, 2010

throwback thursday

Last night we were watching The Middle (it’s hilarious and sweet, you should totally be watching it) and part of the plot surrounded a teenage girl acting like a freak about a boy she had a crush on.  Ug, I do NOT miss being a teenager.  Or single for that matter.  So today’s throwback is from those single days, where (if possible) I was even more neurotic than I am not.  September 18, 2001.  I’m so glad the husband forced me to marry him.  SO.  GLAD.  Even if it means now that when I say “I love you,” there’s a reasonable possibility that he’ll say “I told you so.”

So there I am standing in front of the canned soups at Kroger this evening with my roomate, and I suddenly remember aloud that I can’t eat Zesty Gumbo by Healthy Choice anymore because of an ex-boyfriend.

It’s nothing big, it all happened years ago, but every night after he dropped me off at my house, I’d heat up some Zesty Gumbo and 2 soft Bake cookies then sit in bed and wait for him to call and tell me he was home safe and that he thought I was the dreamiest girl in the whole wide world. I gained a lot of weight that summer..:)

But more importantly, I’d never been in “love” before and I was so starry-eyed, EVERYTHING meant something. And the smells still take me back to a place so icky sweet I want to find myself a toothbrush and brush my teeth.

It’s been a rather long time since anyone whispered a sweet nothing my way. And I like it that way. I didn’t like the anxiousness of emotion, the disappointment, and I’ve never been too fond of having my heart broken.

But remebering those few times… I’d just rather not. There are few cures for the knowledge that all but one of your ex-boyfriends married the next girl that came along after you.

Someone please explain to me why that irks me… I still don’t have a reason.

The memories though… they still make me sick inside.

But I didn’t tell my roomate any of this. All I said was “ooo… Zesty Gumo.. can’t eat that anymore. Ex-boyfriend stuff.”

She looked atme in near-disgust.”Would you let go of everything already?? Why do you let boys do any of this to you? Just forget it.”

I’m still in shock. I swear this is normal behavior for an almost-woman with my dating credentials. How could another female not understand these issues?

Women. Sheesh.

supercrack is around again, but a little timid….

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