Wednesday, December 11, 2013



I missed the last day of NaBloPoMo because we were trekking it from CO to WI and then my in-laws were here for a week and we were in full ENJOY IT mode and now I have nothing to blog about.  Really.  <crickets>

I'm very honest about my mental state.  I take medication and will take it my entire life, but it's what keeps me going, and I'm at peace with that.  But there are just some times in life that the pills can't do the whole job.  When some random comment, encounter, or happening happens and I can't stop crying for two days because I CAN'T.  Mental illness is not kosher, people.  I can choose the big stuff - I can choose to keep myself from doing anything drastic, but I can't stop the tears.  Especially the ugly ones.  This displeases me.  For you non-mental illness folks, you should give all of us crazies a hug because somehow we function while an angry monkey that lives in our heads is bashing our brains in all the time.

In other news, WonderGirl had a friend over today who begged to play her violin, and then was so impressed by how she could pull the bow across the strings and make noise, she followed me around for what seemed like forEVER so I could witness how great she was.  Scratchy 1/4 sized violin E-string over and over and over and over and over.

Not cool.  Not cool.


Cathie said...

My doctor wants to medicate me for PPD but I don't know how much of it was/is just plain old missing my baby because I had to go back to work. I put off the decision for two weeks because I can't breastfeed on the drugs, but one of the things I miss most during the day is nursing... I have a huge personal and family history of mental illness, but I really want to muddle through somehow if I can. Sigh.

jennaroo said...

When you said angry monkey, I immediately pictured the evil monkey from Family Guy.

Jane said...

Tell me who said what and I'll beat them up. I can do it. I have to get my hands fixed next month anyway, so no biggie!

heidi said...

When I'm having a moment I do not want a hug. I want to punch someone and take a nap. Only one is allowed. But, I do think my new medication is helping a little. I'll take what I can get.

Elizabeth said...

Oh. My. Heck.

That right there is the reason why I really really really really hope my hypothetical childrens will not be attracted to the violin. I love my sister, but I thought I would never make it through every practice session she would do in my presence. Thankfully, her tone is quite mellow and beautiful NOW.

I know those crying sessions. I had a lot of them not long ago. Somehow I got out of them. Sorry I didn't read this post when it was going on for you. You are loved, don't you forget it.

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...