Friday, March 7, 2014

Letters to my daughter #2

The last one was more more planned out - I'm just going to shoot from the hip on this one.

This morning as you raced out of the van for school, I forgot to give you my traditional send-off because I was looking to make sure you were crossing the street safely so the Dude decided he'd do it for me and yelled out from the back seat: " Make good choices!!"

If I really think about it, that's the most important thing I want you to learn.  That's just about all - MAKE GOOD CHOICES.  But for the sake of a decent read, I'll elaborate.

You chose this life.  You chose to come here, to be subjected to the good, the bad and the ugly.  I even believe you chose our family and me as your mom (although in reality, I probably was begging you to be my daughter).  You have made some massive, mighty choices that you don't even remember, but you did. As future WonderGirl, you owe past WonderGirl a huge THANK YOU.  And you owe it to past WG to to use this life you chose wisely.  I thank my younger self for her choices ALL THE TIME.

I thank her for practicing the violin, even though she hated it (playing is fun!  practicing is ugh... but you can't have playing without the practicing).

I thank her for developing good habits and skipping out on the bad ones.  I've got my fair share of vices and flaws, but I'm thankful I don't have bigger ones with consequences that get in the way of my present.

I thank her for listening to my mom.

I thank her for reading her scriptures and writing in her journal.  And for blogging.

I thank her for choosing to get an education - and, not just any education - but pushing to get as much as she could handle.  Now that I have far less personal time, I'm so thankful for the things she learned that I can use now.

I thank her for having really great girlfriends and cultivating some wonderful relationships.  Can you imagine how dull life would be without Aunt Dani??

I thank her for the dumb things she didn't do.

I thank her for listening to a LOT of good music and reading a few really great books.

I thank her for doing hard things.  For not letting the jitters and doubts win.  For apologizing.  For admitting when I had made a mistake.  For getting on stage and pushing through the fear.  I know I didn't get every time right, but those times that I did the hard thing - I grew.  I became someone who I could respect just a little more.  I got a little more confidence so the next time it was easier to do the hard thing.  The moment before I opened my mouth or played my first note - I wanted to run and hide every time - but as soon as it was said or played, the feeling was amazing.  I felt like the floodgates of heaven had been waiting to give me this massive pile of love and peace, but all I had to do was take that one step.  And after I had, I'd look back and wonder why I hadn't done it sooner or why I'd dreaded it so much.

I thank her for listening to my dad.

I thank her for trying lots of things.  For being in the high school musicals, for joining bands, for writing stories, for traveling, for doing open mics, for going swing dancing, and trying out lots of hairstyles.

There are plenty of things that I wish she had done differently, but the good choices have been enough to keep me aimed towards happiness.  Really, my life now is pretty darn awesome, but I couldn't have done it without past me making some really, really good choices.  As I get older and I see how the lives of my peers are turning out, it amazes me how much those choices mattered, how much their effect has on a person for years and years and years.  You can't see where the choices you make will lead you, but you know the difference between good ones and bad ones.  Just trust the that the good ones are worth it.  And that future WonderGirl will thank you.*

*and if you are lucky enough to be a mom, your future children will thank past WG over and over and over and over for the good choices you made.  You aren't just doing all this for you, you know.  So many people are impacted by your choices!  We are all in this together, sweetie - so let's do this right!


Anonymous said...

Powerful !!
The flip side of gratitude.
You're running a good race…and you do such a nice job helping others run theirs.
I like how you are enjoying the journey. The destination(s) come soon enough.
Happy Trails.
Keep on makin' those good choices. Plenty more to come. And your wee lovelies are watching and following. Keep Your Eyes On the Prize…and they will too.
Bon Voyage!

Jane said...

That's sweet.
And so very true. I am constantly amazed at the repercussions of poor choices - demonstrated in real or fake life.
Turns out...the gospel is true! And the Lord really DOES know what he's doing after all.

Elizabeth said...

Well now, that was wonderful. I feel like I should write a blog post to future me now. And future hypothetical daughter...or son...or to future non-hypothetical nephews.

Seriously though, that was very beautifully written. She's gonna get all kinds of emotional reading this one day...and she's gonna realize for the millionth to the nth degree time how lucky she is to have you as her Mom. :)

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...