I wrote this last Thursday and posted it for a few brief monutes, but then then decided it was too negative and slipped it back into draft mode. But today, on DAY 8 of the vomit-pocalypse - I'm owning the negative vibe. Thing 3 doesn't have any other symptoms besides randomly throwing up in really inopportune places. SO. MUCH. PUKE. And of course, the husband had to jet out of town for a week, starting today - BUT, my sainted mother felt impressed a few weeks ago to cancel her vacation and come visit while he was gone. TENDER, TENDER MERCIES.
Anywho, this was me on day 5 of the vomit-pocalypse.:
There are things you want to post on FB because validation. You post a picture like this:
That's 100 guaranteed likes and at least 15 "You have historically created the cutest humans that I have viewed in my newsfeed this hour!" comments. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I'll make sure to post something adorable. It's therapeutic. I do the same for my friends. I don't know if they are also crackheads posting for validation, but just in case, I like returning the love.
But there are things you don't post. I love my 12 real friends and 620 friends I know only through the internets, but I keep away from the controversial topics. No joke, the husband posted something after he'd been up with a puking Thing 3 in the middle of the night, and a few people commented/argued about how they had it worse. Not the point. There are crazy people like that out there. Gotta be aware.
Commenting on blogs takes longer so haters are usually less likely to troll my posts. If I'm gonna take the effort to click 3 extra boxes before commenting, you know I'm gonna make it count.
So here in my quiet corner of the internets, I will state that I have been thrown up on 5 times today. T3 has gone though ALL of the pants I washed yesterday. This has been going on since Sunday, and I'm proud of my new found prowess with our steam cleaner.. I know so many people who do so much more, and I don't because I know I'm terrible at just these basics. I could volunteer, be on a committee, help people, I could get out there and use my degree, but I'm barely keeping my head above water. I've missed 2 doctors appointments that I scheduled wrong in the last month. I am in charge of almost anything and I'm still useless. Covered in vomit. And if I actually had a life I'd have to let people down and cancel things to stay home and be vomited on. I hate letting people down. So I don't commit to anything that would require me to be up in the first place. Why does my day job consist of all the things I'm bad at?? I have skills! Just not these skills.
And if I posted that on FB, I would get all sorts of comments. I don't want them. I don't want pity, or commiseration or reasons why I'm wrong. I do need to get it off my chest so I can feel a little lighter when I get up and mop the kitchen floor.
I promise, I feel better now, letting that out. I know there are things I'm good at. I have a life where I'm loved deeply by amazing people, and it doesn't get better than that.
And I have a blog. Those are awesome.
So that's that. I'm going to try and shower before the next episode.