The process of knowing

8am on a Saturday… all was quiet in the house… and then my brain woke me up.

hrumphthhh.  I don’t feel so good.  What the heck is that?  Heartburn??  Man, the last time I had heartburn was…

OH.  MY.  CRAP.

Are there any pregnancy tests in the bathroom????  Just one left, alright… okeeeee, so the instructions say one horizontal line means no, but a horizontal PLUS a vertical line means yes.  But I can’t even really see anything.  IF I squint I see both lines, but the test doesn’t say anything about squinting. 

“SexyHusband - wake up and read this!  Can you see two lines??”  SH rolled over in bed, opened one eye, and agreed it was impossible to figure out. 

“Go get one of those expensive ones that tells you 5 days sooner,” he said as he rolled back over.

So imagine the visual here - I’m in my PJs, in my glasses, checking out of the Walgreens with Tums and a pregnancy test.  The checkout guy was a saint and did NOT make any comments or stupid winks.  I was prepared to punch him if necessary.  One or more frantic calls to a very sleepy Danielle may have occured.

When I got back home, WonderToddler was up and I discovered in the fine print on the test that you shouldn’t drink a whole lot of water beforehand or it will mess with the results.  Well dang, I already um… tapped my kidneys that morning, my reserves were low!  So I had one cup of water and perched myself on my throne, thinking hard about about wallerfalls… rivers.. lakes…

“Daddy, what Mommy doing?”

“She’s trying to go peepee in the potty.”

With that WonderToddler ran into the bathroom, and started cheering “You can do it Mommy, you can do it!”  It was so blasted adorable.  And effective!

I sat down on the floor next to SH and watched the binking hour glass on the digital readout on the test.  I spent the cash and got the digital because I didn’t want deal with any more of those screwy lines.

“Do you think I really could be?  If I do the math right, I’m pretty sure I can’t be.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

And we sat while WT ran around us in circles yelling.  Then *pop* - the word appeared on the screen.

My reation: “WHAT?????”

His reaction: arms over head “YESSSS!!  I DID IT!!!!”

WT’s reaction: “I’m gonna be a big sister!!”

3 hours later, I had the stomach flu.  Talk about a buzzkill.  But, buzz is back on… more about that later.

Thanks for the well wishes!!!!!