goody-goody

I’m LDS (Mormon) and I’m used to being an oddity.  A curiosity.  I guess it’s because there aren’t many of us qnd there are lots of misconceptions out there so I’m constantly asked to clear things up for people.  I don’t take offense at all - people are almost always respectful and I love who am I and what I believe, so I appreciate the opportunity to set the records straight so more people can understand us.  That being said, sometimes people surprise me.

Twice a month I go to a mother’s group hosted at a local Baptist church.  The kiddos play in a nursery, the moms eat and have nifty speakers, and also get the chance to speak to another live adult for possibly the only time that day.  It’s kind of thrilling.  And, being that there are only 2 families in this entire town that are LDS, I’m the first Mormon most of the moms have ever met .  So I wasn’t taken aback when one of the moms leaned in yesterday and asked me if I would answer a personal question.

“Did you and your husband.. you know.. before you got married?”  When I said no, her eyes were as big as dinner plates.  “You mean… you guys were each other’s first??”  Yeah, so?

“Oh my…  GUYS!  You have to hear this!” Now the entire table was listening.  “Did you know she and her husband didn’t..  you know… before they got married??”  Now everyone was looking at me like I had 3 heads.  “What??  Why??” they all said.

“Well, um… it’s an important tennant of our religion - we really try to follow the scriptures, that part included.  It’s not that rare….”  I’m thinking - I’m at a church, don’t most churches believe this?  It’s in the Bible, right?

The reaction was split - some were incredulous, and some actually moved seats away from me and announced they didn’t belong anywhere near me because they were “sluts.”  I’m serious.

“I don’t think that!” I told them. “It’s all part of this life to come and make choices for yourselves, right?  Well, that was my choice.”

But nothing I said mattered anymore.  They were all discussing how they could never be like me and how I was so goody-goody, they were afraid to be near me, and they’d never met anyone who’d “waited”.  I’ve known these people all year, and suddenly because of that I’m a weirdo?  I’m weird for far more reasons that that.  I wasn’t offended, but mostly confused.  I was in a church, and I’m being looked at like a circus freak for following a commandment??

I wondered… there were girls at the table that had gotten married because they’d been pregnant, and when I learned that, I didn’t start freaking out and announce “Hey everybody!  Did you know they weren’t virgins when they got married???”  But the choice to wait is open for freaking?  I repeat, I wasn’t offended, just… it’s so not that big of a deal.  Maybe I hang out with too many Mormons, but all my close friends had the goal to wait, and did.  Heck, my best friend who is Hindu waited too.

Thinking about it more, I don’t really see myself as a “goody goody” kind of person, but it’s not a bad thing.  If that’s the label I get for trying to live what I believe, then I’ll take it.  Heck, I’ve been called worse things anyway :)