diversion

So back in college, one of my best friends went into the army.  He mentioned that whenever a recruit received any mail that smelled like perfume, they had to do a bunch of push-ups.

Seemed like a challenge to me.

So, one day I got the biggest pair of granny panties I could find, doused them in my Giorgio Red and stuffed them in an also-doused Cracker Jack box.  Then, because I am a complete idiot with mailing anything, I wrapped it in about 70 pieces of paper and 14 rolls of tape, then sent it off to his boot camp.

The story goes, the package seemed so suspicious his superiors called him in and asked him to open it in person.  No one said anything as they stared at the noxious unmentionables.  ”I’ll just be down here then…” my friend mumbled as he got down on the ground and started doing push-ups.  

I mention this funny story because I’d rather spend my few alone minutes this evening thinking about the days when I was young and carefree and NOT writing about how it is ONLY MONDAY.  There is still a week of this left.  I already threw in the towel this evening (today, by the way, started with both children in my bed, the smaller one trying to kill the other two) and hid under the covers crying on the phone to my mom while the Dude, drunk with the exhaustion and indignity of not being allowed to drown himself in his sister’s bath, cried so hard he was running into walls.

So let’s remember that time I completely humiliated one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.  He gave me a car.  Seriously.