Monday, February 27, 2012

breaking wind

The husband is psychic.

The other day I was dancing around the interwebs and saw this funny picture:

And I thought to myself, "hey, I never did see the last Twilight movie."  Since it's a part 1, I wasn't in a hurry, and I honestly have no idea when it came out.  Life has been... scattered... for the last while.   I've actually seen the last 3 with the husband in the theater - I think because he secretly adores Twilight.  Or doesn't trust me.  When I read the books I tried biting him and he would have none of it.  Pssshhhh.

So I've been thinking to myself that when he goes out of town again, I'll rent it.  So he doesn't have suffer through it.  Because I'm thoughtful like that.  And then Saturday night he comes home from the grocery store with a redbox copy of Breaking Dawn.  OOOOOOoooooo, he IS psychic.

Anywho, we survived it although he did say any, many snarky things.  That were entirely deserved.  When it was over, he had two very good observations:

1.  The Cullens are filthy rich, right?  So if they were trapped in their house because the werewolves were all around and couldn't get out to hunt, why didn't they have a cow delivered?

2.  Or an armored tank?

He's a problem solver.  Also, my observation is incredibly pathetic, but I'll be honest.  I've had 2 kids and I hate exercising, so watching cute actresses prance around in bikinis makes me feel a little insecure.  It's my own fault, I could do a sit-up, but I'm too exhausted from following the Dude around all day.  Which does not tone my midsection as much as it should.  Anywho, it helped that she started out cute and then spent the rest of the movie looking like a crack addict.  Very considerate of her.

And now I'm off.  I'm going to have 7 kids over here for a bit while some friends attend and help out at a funeral.  In theory it sounds like a lovely idea.  If they yell, I'm going to stuff cookies in their mouths to stop the noise.


Gabby said...

You know WHY they had her look SO horrible and awful, right? Because, as a vamp, she's supposed to be STUNNING. I mean, not that Kristen Stewart's ugly, but let's face it, she needs help (really, I just think she could do with some personality, but, that's just me. Or, is it???). SO, they made her look as bad as they could, so when she turns vamp, we can all be like, "Oh, wow, look how pretty she is."

Jane said...

You know my theory; it's not Kristin Stewart but Robert Pattinson who really sucks, or at least isn't playing the part as it was written.
Also, if I made a million dollars a picture, had a personal trainer, a plastic surgeon and nothing to do with my time, I could look perfect too.
Look up, not sideways.

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...