Friday, September 14, 2012

hey hey ho ho that varmint there has got to go

I'm going insane here, people.  Not the usual insane.  The other insane.

There's a dead mouse in the basement.  I know this because I saw it.  I saw the sleeve of saltines it desecrated Wednesday, and when I went to a grab a music stand this morning, it was lazing around in the mousetrap.

It's still there.  There are frozen pizzas in the freezer down there that I really want to consume, but I will not.  Until the husband comes and disposes of Stuart Little.

Then this morning, as I went to the kitchen to make my children their traditional Friday Chocolate Chip Waffles, I saw a spider on the counter.  Not a little one, one of the big gross disgusting only-ever-found-in-the-Amazon ones.  I stood there, unsure of what to do because it was close to a bag of produce and you KNOW the second I'd try to smash it it would escape and then I'd have to spend the entire day in the car.

Miraculously, I managed to smack a cup on top of it.  And it is still under that cup.  It will remain under that cup until the husband returns home.  Oh sure, he'll mock me.  That's fine.  I am carrying his child in my uterus and all I ask - nay, DEMAND is that vermin of the non-human variety are to be attended to by HIM.  That's all.  Oh, and home and shelter and all car maintenance.  And snuggles.  And computers.  And cameras.  n'stuff.  I'm seriously one lucky woman.

It's getting colder fast, and I'm well-aware that the mild winter we had last year was directly related to my fragile mental state due to the up-in-the-air-ness of the husband's work situation, and since we are relatively stable-ish now, Mother Nature shan't be pulling any punches.  And we know how much I adore winter (  I used to love fall, until I moved here and realized what came next.

People, my wanderlust is hitting so hard I can barely breathe.  There's a mouse in my basement, I live in the most idyllic but tiny midwest town that shut down its gifted and talented program so she is reading at a 3rd grade level, learning her alphabet AGAIN.  It's fine, like I said, she's in the right place for her emotional level, but I'm jittery.  

Last year I had the most amazing trip to NYC to look forward to and now that the leaves are turning, I can't help but think about it obsessively.  Mostly because I would give my soul for a cream cheese and lox bagel with capers right now.

I snapped this right before I had the best nap I have ever had in my life, right there in Central Park.  HEAVENLY.  It was a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity and I ate it up with a spoon, and I need something, on a smaller scale to look forward to right now.  Because it's going to snow, I'm going to have a newborn and a massive case of psychosis that is my gift when I birth humans.  YAY.  

And there's a mouse in the basement and a spider in the kitchen.  DUDE.


jennaroo said...

Next time you have a massive spider that needs squishing or a varmint that needs wrangling, give me a call. Living in the country has desensitized me to those sorts of things. I still scream but I can also take care of business.

Cathie said...

I like to use my spray bottle of rubbing alcohol (usually reserved for cleaning mirrors) to kill spiders. Don't have to get close, it appears to be a fairly painful end for them, and it sanitizes!

SeanUNT said...

Hey Reva, I'm posting on your blog!! This post reminded me of a dark couple of months at the beginning of this year. Everything was obviously horrible, and each day was getting a little tougher than the last. Then I bought concert tickets to a Coheed and Cambria show, and even though it was a month and a half away, that next month and a half just flew by, and I really instantly felt more optimistic. Seems kind of silly that one rock concert could have done that considering the seriousness of what I was dealing with, but there you are.

So I absolutely know the feeling you're describing, and from now on I'm always trying to have something like that on the horizon, even if it's something as small as a preordered album or book I'm stoked about. I know it's not as good as a trip to NYC, but since that's rarely possible, maybe you can find some small things like that to always have something external from your family life to be excitedly looking forward to! So go order something cool! :)

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...