Let's take a wee break from all the picturing and go into my brain.
I'm having a human. A boy human. In about 4 months. No, I don't have a name picked out. The Dude is still sleeping in the crib that the new human will be sleeping in. I don't remember much from my previous pregnancies, but I'm pretty sure I prepared a little. I've never made a nursery with all the cutesiness, but I at least mentally tried to prepare.
I was planning on accepting things after I found out the gender - because then, I could have a mental image of what my family was going to look like. And for about 24 hours I had a really great image in mind, my family of two girls and three boys. I started picturing another little boy - and that was great - I mean, I have one boy and he is so flipping adorable it's insane. But right about then the flipping adorable boy headbutted me. Not because he was mad, just because some of his wires are crossed and he needs stuff like that. It's not the hardest challenge to deal with, but it's something I have to deal with.
He has physical challenges. WonderGirl just has emotional challenges, that actually feel something like being headbutted in the emotions sometimes (the "emotions" is located near the kidneys). And thinking about all the headbutting made me realize this little one is going to have his own challenges. Autism runs in the family and is definitely on the table, but so are a few other things. I don't know if I'm up to 3 sets of challenges, and not knowing what this next child's challenges will be is making them loom and seem ginormous in my head.
So this child still isn't real in my brain (he is pretty real in my uterus though. I have the heartburn to prove it). Although, I was so terrified to have a boy last time I didn't really picture him in my head until he came, and then he was the most angelic little boy I'd ever met, and my fears went toodle-oo.
We have to move the Dude into WG's room at some point, so that might make this real. Eventually. Does anyone else spend the majority of their pregnancy terrified or in denial?