In the interim, I decided to teach the Dude how to read because reasons. Besides my selective type-A personality traits, he started without me months ago. Yesterday he just could not figure out the word "tail" and it was getting frustrating, when he finally got it and did a literal happy dance. And I realized that since he turned 3 - which was just last August - he has
- potty trained
- expanded his vocabulary by a kajillion and can read at the level of his sister's kindergarten classmates
- learned how to zip up his own coat
- blow his nose (that has been VERY difficult)
- learned how to hold a violin, a bow and play the Leprechaun Song.
The Leprechaun Song, people.
How has he managed so much, despite the challenges his body has to deal with? It's so obvious every day how hard he has to work to do the same things the other kids his age can do but he just doesn't stop. Ever. He may never learn to sit still, but he will do great things, this one. As long as I can teach him to stop running away form me in parking lots, that is.
I honestly don't know why amateurs are allowed to be parents. There should be tests and background checks and electroshock treatments. And once I realize I've got it finally figured out, I'll have grandchildren to get even with my kids with. Maybe we're all just living life backwards, and not in that creepy Benjamin Button way.
DUDE. The weather needs to get decent soon. These clouds are making me think some really dumb stuff and then I share them on my blog because there is nothing else to do because I'm too cold to get off the couch.
In conclusion, BLAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGG.