GO HOME WISCONSIN, YOU'RE DRUNK.

On Wednesday the sun was shining and I was manic-happy.  Bouncing off the walls happy.  now it's back to 30s and sleet and I am feeling violent.  No joke, if we don't get some spring here I am going to burn this entire state down.

NOT KIDDING.

In the interim, I decided to teach the Dude how to read because reasons.  Besides my selective type-A personality traits, he started without me months ago.  Yesterday he just could not figure out the word "tail" and it was getting frustrating, when he finally got it and did a literal happy dance.  And I realized that since he turned 3 - which was just last August - he has


  • potty trained
  • expanded his vocabulary by a kajillion and can read at the level of his sister's kindergarten classmates
  • learned how to zip up his own coat
  • blow his nose (that has been VERY difficult)
  • learned how to hold a violin, a bow and play the Leprechaun Song.  


The Leprechaun Song, people.

How has he managed so much, despite the challenges his body has to deal with?  It's so obvious every day how hard he has to work to do the same things the other kids his age can do but he just doesn't stop.  Ever.  He may never learn to sit still, but he will do great things, this one.  As long as I can teach him to stop running away form me in parking lots, that is.

I honestly don't know why amateurs are allowed to be parents.  There should be tests and background checks and electroshock treatments.  And once I realize I've got it finally figured out, I'll have grandchildren to get even with my kids with.  Maybe we're all just living life backwards, and not in that creepy Benjamin Button way.

DUDE.  The weather needs to get decent soon.  These clouds are making me think some really dumb stuff and then I share them on my blog because there is nothing else to do because I'm too cold to get off the couch.

In conclusion, BLAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGG.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face.
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off that gloomy mask of Tragedy
- It's not your style.
You'll look so good that you'll be glad you
decided to smile.
Pick out a pleasant outlook,
Stick that noble chin.
Wipe off that full-of-doubt look,
Slap on a happy grin.
And spread sunshine- all over- the place, just
Put On A Happy Face :D
Jane said…
I am starting to think your state is in a different universe than the rest of us. It's May for crying out loud! We're already halfway through fire season over here.
You should move here.
Seriously.
Lyndel said…
"I honestly don't know why amateurs are allowed to be parents. There should be tests and background checks and electroshock treatments."

I love this comment you made. I still think it's absurd that people who know nothing about babies can take them home from the hospital with the only knowledge of being able to strap the carseat in.

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