ethics

Moral question here.  Well, maybe moral is too strong of a word. Decent person question?

I checked that "other" mailbox on FB where lots of random things go missed, and saw a message from a loooooooong ago friend. The message had been sent over a year ago, and was full of exclamation points and emoticons and how cool it was to find me on FB after all these years. I hadn't approved the friend request when I saw it last year because honestly, I was glad when this person slipped out of my life. Do you ever have friends that just move at a slower speed than you and conversations become painful because you have to work to come up with anything to say?  The people who didn't jump off into life after high school and stayed in a holding pattern for a while?  You know who I'm talking about - you'd go visit home over winter break and you have some friends you couldn't wait to see, and some you don't tell that you're coming because they are just work to be around and you want to spend your precious 3 weeks NOT having to work?

I'm too tired to go back and edit myself, so I may come off sounding snooty. I promise I am fully aware that there are plenty of humans on this earth that would rather not see my ugly mug again. The point is, am I bad for just ignoring the message and request?  I could tell this person that they did tell me to never speak to them again more than a decade ago and instead of feeling bad, I felt massive relief and complied perfectly with those wishes... or I could just ignore and move on. That's not a jerk-y thing to do, is it?

Comments

Cathie said…
Just leave it. I guess it's nice that they're reaching out to you, but life is too short to spend being polite to someone who is no longer useful in your life.
eurefreundin said…
If the comment was from a year ago, I'd just ignore it too. I actually didn't know there was an "other" mailbox on fb (seriously, I'm going to go look now) so this other person should certainly be able to understand how a message could go missed and chalk it up to that. Also, not sure how high your privacy settings are, but with mine someone who isn't my friend would have no way of knowing if I ever go on fb or not... so this person could also just assume that you're one of those people who doesn't check fb.
Jane said…
Leave it. How do they know what happened. Maybe you died.
The Atomic Mom said…
Don't worry about it. I pass over many friend requests, mostly from people at church. And here is another truth about me...I've actually started deleting family members from my fb list. I am trying to set boundaries and get rid of toxic people right now. I do feel guilty, but then I have to remind myself that I want to be happy and healthy, and sometimes that means not being friends with everyone. So you're totally not a jerk for this.

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