Tuesday, December 4, 2012

girls rock

So we all survived NaBloPoMo!  I only missed a wee bit, but I think I also get extra points for hosting Thanksgiving and also not missing any 365 days.

I'm annoyed today,. Would you like to hear why?  Oh, joy!  The other day my mom e.mailed me and asked me why I didn't have a link to that CJane blogger in my sidebar since I'd referenced her in my last post.  My mom experiences most of the internet via the links on my sidebar - so you guys are famous (in a small apartment in China)!  I  told her that I actually wasn't a huge fan for a few reasons, but I like to read her and keep current since so many people read her and look up to her as what an LDS woman is.  I like to know what is being put out there.

Right after I e.mailed my mom back, CJane posted about discovering her Mormon feminism.  I'm not going to knock feminism, but how she came to that decision really, really, really bothered me.  She admitted she'd grown up thinking boys were more important than girls, and her sister said she'd felt the same way.  I read that and was horrified for several reasons.
1.  I've NEVER felt that way.  I've been an active Latter-Day Saint my entire life and never once did anyone infer men were superior to women.  I was always taught how important and divine both our roles were and neither was better.
2.  I get to fight a daily battle of dumb stereotypes against my religion, and I really dislike it when people perpetuate those stereotypes.
3.  Who taught these girls they were not as good as boys??  I don't want to point fingers, but whose mama let that one slip into their ears??
Baaahhhhhh.  If anything, I have to fight the urge to not not feel superior to men.  I guess I'm just really lucky to have skipped out on whatever inferiority complex creeped into ..... is it Utah-raised women?  I've never lived there so I don't know.  I railed about this to the husband last night and he asked me what I'm doing in my calling as head of the teen young women in our congregation to ensure they don't have this misperception, and had to say nothin', because I'd never dreamed it was be an issue.  As a LDS woman, I have always felt valued, important and equal.  It never occurred to me anyone would even think of us that way.  BAAAHHHHHH I say.

The only time anyone ever disparaged me as a woman was when one of my brothers used to make dumb, sexist jokes.  And my mom laid the smack-down on him.  I was raised by a really smart, really awesome woman and that's where I got that wacky ideal of gender equality.

Yesterday two of my friends from college played on the Leno show as part of one of my favorite bands - the Polyphonic Spree.  I'm jealous as all get out, but they are two of the most talented people I know and it couldn't have happened to more awesome musicians.  My friend Sean was documenting the day through instagram and it was so awesome to live in a teeny way vicariously through his experience.  While he was getting all did up and recorded though his day, I had WonderGirl throw up all over my bedroom floor at 1am, then managed to throw up in the bathroom while I was doing a lice treatment on her that night (more about that another time), the Dude spent the day still afraid to go to the bathroom, and my unborn child was/is trying to beat up several of my internal organs.  The juxtaposition was a bit much at that point.

After we got them into bed, my husband wrapped his arms around me and thanked me for choosing to live the life I do for our family.  We've both made sacrifices to raise children, but it sure does help ease the hurt when he's always aware of and grateful for what I gave up.  I didn't give it up because I didn't feel I wasn't worthy for anything else.  I didn't give it up because that was all I was allowed to do.  I gave it up because I prayed about it and knew in my heart it was what I was supposed to do.  If there was anything else I was supposed to be doing, I'd totally be doing it.

And I'm respected for that choice.   It's awesome.

10 comments:

Talula Does the Hula said...

Leading by example, as always. You are an inspiration. Your children will be able to talk about you the way you talk about your own mom.

Cathie said...

I cheerfully,quietly gave up reading cjane...gosh, several years ago. I realized that mostly all she does is frustrate or annoy me, for any number of reasons I won't go into here. And I figured, why keep that a part of my life?

kimbo said...

YES. Oh my gosh, yes! I have puzzled over some of her posts and then was shocked to see commenters claiming to have felt/feel the same way or experienced the same things. What on earth?? It's so foreign to me. I love that you chose what you have and who you are. And you KNOW that. Not like some brainwashed something-or-other forced you to make decisions that didn't really suit you or whatever. (Can you tell I'm a little riled by how it comes off? NOT COOL.) You chose. And YOU actually ARE a rock star! And (AND!) a woman/wife/mom/contributor to society. And you did the 365 project whilst pregnant. And serve as YW president. Awesome.

catherine said...

I stopped reading her post months ago for essentially the same thing. Some of her stuff is really inspiring, a lot of her stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I love your blog because it's ALL inspiring!

And, for the record, not all Utah-raised sisters are raised this way. I have tons of friends. None of them became "feminists" in this way. The way she describes things...sometimes I wonder.

I hope you read her sister's blog. She is all inspiring too. And tells a much different story. nieniedialogues.blogspot.com

Jane said...

Feminists bug me.
(And I never had a brother who told sexist jokes either.)
Of course, chauvinist pigs bug me too. Who has the kind of time to bag on another group of people? I'm too blasted busy.
And some people don't get the choice of what to do with their lives, so...

Morgan -Ing said...

Not to be rude, but who passed CJane the microphone? I know she doesn't officially represent LDS women, but good grief.

I have NEVER felt that I was less than a boy. I refuse to be treated that way, because it's false. My mother is a wise, strong woman and raised me to be the same. I'm grateful.

Mara said...

Am I the only one who has no clue who CJane is!? Well, from the comments I guess I'm not missing much...

April_Mommy said...

A funny thing about this post... I am usually just a lurker, but you got me to comment! Good job!

Anyway, I was raised in Utah, in the middle of the Salt Lake Valley, and I have never, EVER, felt inferior to men in any way. That said, I have an old friend who went to my high school who totally did, so I think it depends on the person and what you are willing to feel and what you are taught in your home...

I have always loved a quote by Elanor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Words to live by...

heidi said...

not to knock cjane, but i too gave her up years ago. not my cup of tea.

i've experienced both ends of the equality spectrum within the church and i figured out from an early age that it had nothing to do with the church, just that some people are idiots. and that holds true today.

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for the rant. It helped relieve some of the pent up energy within me.

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