When I picked you up from school yesterday, you looked worried.
"I had to go to the nurse today. When I bit into my sandwich at lunch, my loose tooth got twisted around and really hurt."
"Ugh, I'm sorry. What did she do?"
"She gave me some ice." You paused. "She told me there was no such thing as the tooth fairy."
Mental note: write strongly-worded note to school nurse. "What did you say?"
"I told her I already knew that." Another pause. "You and dad are the tooth fairy, right?"
Oh, those questions. You've probably noticed that I've been dodging them for a while. Remember, I've never been a mom before so everything you're experiencing for the first time as a kid, I'm experiencing for the first time as a mom. That means I'm just starting to figure these things out... so I punted.
"You should ask dad."
Later on, your tooth got realllly twisted and you were bleeding and screaming and crying, and I couldn't help but smile. I'm so sorry, I know you were scared. But it was really kind of funny and if I'd been heartless enough to film it instead of get you ice and some tissues, you would have watched it later and laughed too. And then as fast as your screaming started, the tooth simply fell out and the drama was over. (for you, anyway.)
You decided to slip it under your pillow, just in case.
This morning I was woken up by your beautiful face and a gold dollar that you held up to my nose. This time, you were not to be deterred.
"Did you do this? I mean, there's no such thing as the tooth fairy, right? Right?"
I took a deep breath.
"Raising kids is a huge job for moms and dads, right?" You nodded. You were finally going to get answers and were not about to interrupt.
"One of our jobs is to help you believe in magic. We have to help you grow an imagination that can do amazing things for the world. One of the ways we help you believe you in magic is by being a little magic ourselves. Does that make sense?"
Emphatic nodding accompanied by the sweetest, most understanding smile.
"Being the tooth fairy helps us to be just a little magical. Can you let us be magical?"
"So this world-wide conspiracy of the tooth fairy is - "
"Actually not worldwide," you interjected. "In Russia for example, there's this mouse that - "
"Fine, this household-wide conspiracy is to help bring some imagination and magic to our family. Can you help me keep the magic going? Don't tell the boys yet?"
"Yes," you smiled even wider.
"Will you let me keep being the tooth fairy?" I asked.
"Yes," you said. You gave me a hug and made me feel magical. Thank you so much for that. That's one of the things I hadn't expected to enjoy quite so much as a parent. I thought I'd feel left out because there was no fairy bringing ME stuff anymore, but for some crazy reason, being the fairy is even better.
You continued - "and just because it's magic doesn't mean it's imaginary. Like this one dragon that has adapted to live in Antarctica.."
At this point I can't remember all the details, but you went on a dragon tangent while I dragged myself out of bed to be the Breakfast Fairy and the Lunch Packing Fairy.
And then, you were nice enough to pose for about 20 pictures until I got it right (sorry it takes me so many tries. This is just another thing I'm learning).
I really wanted to remember this moment. Thank you.