Monday, August 27, 2012

oh yeah

Who thinks we need to make this for toddlers??  Anyone??

365 days 221-226

Remember the day WonderGirl had a playdate?  Then the Dude had his nap?  I missed him so much, and couldn't wait for naptime to be over.

So.tired.  Photobombed by WG.
STILL waiting for new contacts to arrive (the pinkeye wiped out my last pair) and I am sick of wearing glasses!  I miss seeing my eyeballs!

Hide and seek.  From housework, ugh.
We arranged a small recital for the kids who I teach and who take music lessons.  We're a talented bunch. Also, I accompanied almost all of these.  Too humble to mention it though.  ;)

Remember this dress??  You know, that I made by myself without a pattern because I don't know how to use patterns?  And didn't sew to fit tightly (or even remotely tight) because I don't know hot to sew buttons or zippers?  Well, it kind of rocked as a maternity dress yesterday, just tied the waist up above the bump and it kind of looked like I was pregnant instead of really full after a Thanksgiving dinner!  As soon as the kids go back to school, I am dragging that machine out again, dagnabit!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

the unmundane

Jeff Harris: 4,748 Self-Portraits and Counting from We Know Music on Vimeo.

Yesterday my camera freaked out of me.  Like, mad, crazy voodoo freaking out.  Also the odd-shaped and therefore have-no-extras-on-hand batteries for my camera remote died too.  I think that might be what freaked the camera out.

Yesterday was lovely.  After a morning with the kids at the library, I had enough energy to take a leisurely walk to the health foods store and get some not-too-junky treats then play and the park by the town's square.  Then as I pulled into my street, one of WonderGirl's friends called and asked to have her come play for the afternoon.  U-turn, then back home for the Dude's nap and stress about dinner.  At the last second, a friend called and asked if I wanted some extra home made tamales she and her mother-in-law (visiting from Mexico) had just made.  I screamed so loud I think she could actually hear me at her house a few miles away.

During naptime was when the camera freaked out and I had an accompanying meltdown.  This 365 thing is great, and being a part of a group to motivate me is lovely too, but this I-must-be-the-one-releasing-the-shutter-on-every-picture rule is hard.  I can frame a picture, but the shutter release doesn't always behave (especially at long distances) and I wish I could have someone else pushing the drasted button a few times since it just needs some coaxing now and then.  

Then I saw this amazing video and decided I might just keep going with this project after January 15th, but let some help in.  The blurry picture taken by Billy Idol made me feel better :)  But dagnabit, I need a heavy duty tripod.

Also, this video as inspired me to be insanely grateful for my life, my body and the people that love me.  Because I am.  I also love that one of his goals was to show he really lived, despite the mundane 9-5 that consumed most of his time.

I'm disappointed with myself this summer.  I was so gung ho - and started with a bang, producing a CD in less than 24 hours and throwing a mad awesome family reunion, but then I got pregnant and have been tired.  I feel terrible about how tired and useless I have been, because last spring I got all motivated and was doing great things.    Like laundry.  And now I'm moaning and trying not to move too much or the heartburn monster will get me.

It all comes in waves.  This sick wave, followed by the crazy post-partum wave, which is then followed by the just-trying-to-get-by wave, and then all of the sudden, in about 2 years, I'll look around and say "Hey!  I feel like ME today!"  And do something incredibly capable like take a road trip or clean my sink.

I have this picture on my phone to remind me that no matter what the tired or crazy does to me, this is real, this is eternal, and this is worth it:

What I guess I'm saying is, I need a tripod.  And I need to keep working to find ways to highlight how unmundane this mundane Midwest housewife life really is.  For me, and for these 2 (and a half) humans.

Monday, August 20, 2012

365 days 210-220

Temple-bound.  We loaded up the kids on a whim and headed to the Chicago temple last weekend.  Very needed battery recharge for our spirits, despite the no sleep and 3 hour drive.


On the way home I was craving a Chicago-style dog, but husband had a better idea - find a Golden Corral.  The kids ate everything they could get - including cotton candy - and there was a real chocolate fountain!!  Sugar cookies and chocolate fountains are 2 of my largest weaknesses.  I miss the South...

A self-portrait of me lying in bed, exhausted out of my ever living brain.
If I'm going to spend a good portion of the summer sick on the couch, at least I have a good snuggle buddy.
I was too sick to go get a bowl for my hint-of-lime chips, so I piled them on my chest and ate them from there.  Don't judge.
Our garden is producing!!  Of course I have no idea what to do with all these cucumbers and peppers... I can only eat so many pickles.

The husband and I got to be involved in the coolest concert on the Square here in town, put on by the library.  We put on our jammies and played some lullabies (he played bass) and it was so fabulous!!  I rushed to get this picture in the middle of getting ready and darn it if it wasn't the least attractive picture ever taken of me ever.  I was in a rush AND developing pinkeye (unbeknownst to me, because I'm an idiot).  So let's provide a distraction, shall we?  WonderGirl is on FIAH!!!
The Dude's birthday present from me was NOT giving him pinkeye.  Yet.

We had a sushi night with friends and they had this deeeelicious smoked salmon that we paired with cream cheese for one of the most delicious rolls ever, especially what will me seriously craving bagels with cream cheese and lox lately.  What is with the lack of Jewish delicatessens in Wisconsin???
My first attempt (and cruddy, it can only get better) of a belly shot.  I'm about 13 weeks now and I'm starting to poke out, or at least have enough pudge that I can try and pass it off as a baby bump.
So now I hae to dig out the maternity clothes.  I have one small box of them and I HATE them.  UGH.  Maternity clothes stink and are super crappy AND super expensive, plus my previous experiences with pregnancy coincided with the husband getting laid off and major moves, so I never had the time or money to amass a decent collection.  The shirts are always too tight and juuust too short and so blasted low-cut.  Snarlgrumblesnarlblllaaaarrrgghhh.  I don't foresee the prudence in getting anything decent because I also don't foresee needing to wear them ever past this winter, so every day when I get dressed I'm going to end up screaming in the mirror.  Until next March.  Lucky husband.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

the Dude

This amazing, interesting, adorable, hilarious, precocious, fantastic human boy turned 3 last Friday.  Words cannot adequately express how awesome he is or how much I love him.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

my real life is not blog-cool

Carina wrote the most perfect post the other day and I just have to share part of it:

I've been sporadic with the postings on this blog (even the admission of which is contrary to a rule I set for myself: no apologies, no schedules, talk about what you want to talk about no matter what, and never outline a break.) I think, however, that I'm making all of this far more complicated than it needs to be. Back before there were "mommy bloggers" and "lifestyle bloggers" and "tumblr" there was just blogging, and I used to kind of love it. Then everything got sliced into categories and genres, discounted or vaulted, valued and dissected. Perhaps I need to get back to what I used to love about writing online, in my own space and time.

The whole post isn't much longer and in true Carina fashion, is a hoot, so by all means go check it out.  But it totally made me think.  Remember when blogging was fun and not to prove something or expand readership or whatever?  Before we had digital cameras or smart phones and knew how to post pictures?  Before bloggers became superstars on morning talk shows as "experts?"  Not that I ever got all dragged into anything all high-fallutin' but when I sighed up on Mormon Mommy Blogs on a lark and got "funny ladies" as my category I was all whooooaaaaaa.  Under pressure *dun dun dun dundundun dun*

Also, motherhood.  When I started blogging I was a senior  (second year senior, whatever) in college.  Single, world traveling, muuuch more interesting than I am now.  Behold, a snippet of a post from 2001:

We're all in a car driving home from a concert - Aunt Sanny at the wheel, Grandma, me, and cousin Nicole.
Sanny: We'd better pick up some milk on the way home.
Me: (stupidly) Why?
G*ma: the cow died.
Sanny: there's no milk in the whole bloomin' house.
Me: G*ma, did you ever have a cow?
G*ma: Oh, sure.
Me: Really?? When?
G*ma: oh, several times a day.
just let that settle in - I was laughing so hard I almost hyperventilated.

See?  It carries a lot more weight that the Dude finding the the word "toot" high-freakin-larious.

UUUUUuuugugugughghghhhhh.  Again I go with the blogging about blogging.  But my real life is unbloggable right now.  I'll show you what I mean:

I'm Young Women's president.  I always overwhelmed, fielding several calls a day from the girls about things I'm behind on or what they want.  Also I'm freaking out about how they just don't get certain things and how mean they can be to each other.   Reminding myself that I'm not their mother so I have little control over what they choose to do, but holy snap I can't stop worrying.  If they show up to an activity actually dressed appropriately I have a mini-heart attack.  There's a million little things I should be doing and can't figure out how, so I'm always stressed and always feeling terrible.  In fact, I'm blogging right now at 7am because I woke up and tried to watch a leadership training video that isn't working after multiple sites, attempts, and voodoo dolls burned.  I can't blog about that because when I'm not actually doing YW stuff, I'm TRYING to relax and forget I'm actually YW president.

School is about to start.  WonderGirl is going to be in school ALL.DAY.LONG.  I freak about her starting school every year - first it was 2 mornings a week, then 3, then 4, and now this year it is every day until 3 in the afternoon.  Do you know what 1-3pm is in my house??  WG time.  The Dude naps and I get my sunshine to myself.  We learn piano, violin, read good books, snuggle, cook, learn math and whatever else.  I live for 1pm.  Can I even have a piano or violin lesson while the Dude is awake??  It's going to be impossible.  He sees that instrument and begs for it endlessly, or tries to steal it.  He's turning 3 on Friday and he's still too young to start on either instrument seriously so he acts like he's a poor victim and we can't get anything else done while he's awake.  Without my WG time, what will I do???

Oh, and the Dude is starting preschool too - 2 mornings a week.  Where maybe, just maybe he gets the hang of the potty training thing?  And I'm terrified at how things will work out for him.  He's a sensory seeking kid who is really good at self-regulation, meaning if that sometimes he needs to run in circles and laugh like a hyena.  He is sweet and kind, but he can't sit still in a class (the stories from him nursery class at church are pretty funny).  WG couldn't sit very well either, but it was for other reasons.  She needed to hug everyone in a 15 foot radius or she.would.die.  Will the teachers understand?  Will I know what to do or to say? 

And that means I'll have 6 hours kind of to myself a week for the first sememster... I say kind of, because you know I'll be bloated like a whale and unable to do much of anything, probably trying to do housework and failing miserably, then I'll be manic depressive and suicidal the next semester.  While tending a newborn, because that's how I roll.

I try to not to think about the hell that's coming, because I've lived through it twice enough to know that eventually, it will stop.  Although I'm considering going ninja on the next person that tells me 3 kids is when you lose all control and your life is a mess.  Because I was actually a mess at one, and things have gotten progressively better, jerkface.

Speaking of crazy, the Dude will be 3 tomorrow.  He's an enigma wrapped in an a cuddle monster.  I can't get enough of this child, but I also can't figure him out.  I will say that him being 3 and a half when the next one arrives is awesomesauce.

We went out of town last weekend on a whim to visit the temple in Chicago.  It meant getting a hotel room Friday night, then the husband and I taking turns going to the temple Saturday morning while the other watched the kids.  We did NOT sleep Friday night.  The Dude and hotel rooms rarely mix.  We were sitting at the dinner table the next day, exhausted and exhausted.  And I rememebered that soon, sleep will be a luxury not meant for the likes of us anymore.  "Remind me why we're doing this again?" I moaned to the husband.  He smiled, and tickled the Dude.  The inevitable joy and laughter that shot out of the Dude was enough to remind me that dagnabit, it's worth it.  Especially these kids.  You would be hard pressed to find more easily amusable children.  It's a tender mercy.

The kids are awake and I'm back on duty.  I'll look hard today and try to see if there is something non-mundane that's not on this core list of what the heck happens in my day-to-day.  Maybe I'll surprise myself.  If not, I'll call my mom and goad her into saying something wildly innapropriate and post that instead.

Friday, August 10, 2012

finding new incarnations of blogging as a verb

Goodness, this blog has become so dull lately!  I keep up on my 365 pictures but actual blogging has become a rarity this year.  Just 5 or so more months, woohoo!

I'm doing dandy, although it is exhausting being exhausted all the time and feeling like a giant failure at everything because of the exhaustion.  And for the better part of the week I had  intestinal problems that involved a feeling akin to being stabbed with a dagger in my stomach every time I stood vertical.  Dull, dull dull!

But real life carries on, and I intend to get back to bloggering like a normal bloggerer.  I sat down to type my brain out and since it has been so long since I bloggered normally, I was surprised by how self-absorbed and whiny it sounded.  Am I normally so self-absorbed?  DON'T ANSWER THAT.

Anywho, in the spirit of bloggitiggitying normalcy, I'm posting it anyway, but I'm putting a jump-break thingy in it so years from now when I go perusing my archives I'll have to actually click through to witness the annoyingocity and be thankful I at least partially shielded the normal populace from the woe-is-me fest.

Man, I'm out of bloggetting shape.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

365 days 206-209

I decided I wouldn't wimp out and get that darn standing on my head picture.  Except I also decided that it would be smart to fake it, so the part of my torso you can't see is draped across the couch.  Still pretty flexible for a woman my age if you ask me.
Just a typical day of piano and violin practice during the magic hours - the Dude's naptime.  When she starts all day school in September, I don't know what I'll do.  Really, I'm a mess about this.
What young mother doesn't love to take a whole gaggle of teen girls to a friend's house to learn how to cook over fire AND bring her kiddos along??  The dude managed to not end up in the fire or the river, and WonderGirl mostly kept her mouth off the girls (she likes kissing and licking them, yech) so we had marshmallows to celebrate.
The husband brought beets and cabbage galore back from the ward garden so I've been tasked with making more borscht.  Now, I can understand the mad burn (and later, massive blister) on my right hand, but the blue hand on my left has my baffled.  Cooking and I just don't mix.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

the most epic moment of epic moments

Rowan Atkinson at the Olympics - Mod DB

Every now and then I take a stroll through my archives and smile, and I'm posting this because it will never ever ever ever ever ever fail to make me deliriously happy.  You're welcome, future Reva.

Monday, August 6, 2012

365 days 192-205

Registered the Dude for preschool this year.  EEP.
Fort, courtesy of WonderGirl.  Thank heavens for rainy days!!
My belt.
I am drawn to taking pictures in the toy room because I can make the colors stand out so easily.  Good thing it's full of 'em and rarely tidy!
Another demolition derby?!  The hubs brother was in town so we treated them to some Wisconsin hospitality.  We were not aware of how much mud would make it onto us... next time, sit WAY higher in the stands!

Some lovely flowers picked for me by the kiddos on a Sunday walk.
I do not own this lap.
Is that a jellybean I spy?
Husband is working on a violin rental biz and I get to test out the fiddles.  Isn't this one gorgeous??
These are getting kind of boring so I tried to take one where I was standing on my head.  I didn't even get up off the floor, just touching my head to the carpet gave me a massive headache.  So a boring picture of planking on a dollhouse is all you get.
Oh man, I'm seriously phoning it in.  With my phone, even.  Husband spent the night at scout camp and I spent the night eating chips in bed, unable to sleep.
As bad as this picture is, I'm SO THANKFUL I have it.  I woke up the next day and realized I hadn't done my 365 picture the day before.  My mind raced - should I lie?  Cheat?  Accept defeat after 200 straight days of picture discipline??  And then I remembered I'd taken ONE lighting test shot that day while taking pictures at my friend's daughter's birthday party.  I was in it, it totally counts!!!  It's a terrible picture of course, but the streak is unbroken, dagnabit.  I added the words in Latin "That girl is a nutter" to distract from the crummy composition and all that.

An actual, composed shot!  I got the light to catch the cord and then added some ipiccy magic.  Plug me in!

HEAR YE. I need to document the fact that I ran 3 miles and didn't feel like death.  So just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I did...