rant

Dude doesn’t nap well during the day because he doesn’t sleep well at night.  He doesn’t sleep well at night and it’s my fault.  I have 2 functions at night - when he wakes me up, I either

1. feed him while checking my e.mail because it wakes me up enough to take care of him, and then I lay in my bed totally awake and unable to sleep for at least an hour, usually staying awake through the next feeding. Although today at 1am I tried that but I was so tired we fell asleep on the chair for an hour and I woke up seconds before I pushed my laptop onto the floor.  Or, I

2. feed him in his room in the dark, but I don’t actually wake up, so I pass out on the couch or floor (it was the hallway once this week too) with Dude laying on my chest, and we sleep uncomfortably for an hour or so, until I wake up and try to put him back to bed but he won’t sleep anymore because why would you sleep on a hard, cold bed when you had a warm squishy mommy?  So I, still barely awake stumble around trying to get him sleepy again unsuccessfully.  Heck, around 3am today, I actually put his diaper on only halfway and backwards so a few minutes later he woke me up, sopping wet with pee.  Woohoo.

It’s my fault he doesn’t know how to sleep.  But I can’t think when I’m tired.  Some people get mean, but I just get stupid.  And now royally pissed off.  Not at my sweet Dude, I know it’s not his fault.  It’s mine.  I won’t say where my wrath is going, but I do know I need a healthy way to release it because I’m about to punch someone in the face.  I may or may not have almost ripped WG’s head off for trying to sneak a snack, which she is not allowed since she wouldn’t eat her breakfast.

So now, because I am so &^%&*% mad, I would like to make a list of other things that are incurring my wrath today:

1. The &^%^%$ 25 MPH speed limit in this podunk town.

2. The dresser I walked into at 1am.

3. Oatmeal, and having it spat on me by WG.

4. Not knowing everything in the universe.  Specifically, not knowing how and who to set up all my amazing single guy friends up with since they deserve to be happy, except who knows if there is anyone out there good enough for them and if they were with some undeserving chick that would be on this list too.

5. Screaming children. 

6. Dry skin.  It hasn’t stopped raining in 5 days, but my epidermis is like sandpaper and no amount of guzzling water or slopping on lotion is making a difference.

7. Not seeing the sun for 5 ^%$#^%$ days.

8. Hair.  I don’t want to blow dry it, I don’t want to stand there and try and get it to look decent, I just want to go.  And the only hairstyle that will accommodate that is bald, but I’m pretty sure my skull is not one of my better features so I gots to cover that up.  And I am tired of looking like this:

http://w204.photobucket.com/flash/tagWidget.swf?mediaURL=aHR0cDovL2kyMDQucGhvdG9idWNrZXQuY29tL2FsYnVtcy9iYjY0L2RhaWtpbmdwL3JlYWxmdW5ueS9UaGVTaW1wc29ucy1DcmF6eUNhdExhZHkuZ2lm

9. Crap all over the %$# floor that I didn’t put there and can’t get the person who DID put it there to put it away since there’s no place to put most of this crap and organizing things gives me $%# hives.

Okay, let’s cleanse the palete, shall we?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Now let’s get out there and not kill anybody today! 

NaBloPoMo

http://c2.static.ning.com/socialnetworkmain/widgets/index/swf/badge.swf?v=4.14.2.3%3A75e4771

Visit NaBloPoMo

See that handy badge?  It means NaBloPoMo is almost upon us.  Yep, an entire month of entries for you, my lucky audience.  3 years ago I was a PPD wreck, and hiding from the rest of the world.  Very UN-moi, as we all know.  So when Husband found out about it, he insisted I go for it.  Every day he encouraged me to write, and in return I got someone of the sweetest e.mails and support from people all over the world, forcing me out of my dark corner and closer to someplace healthy.  So there’s a sweet spot in my heart for the exercize that is the November of blogging.  Why don’t you join me??  It’s good for the soul and all that.  And for my voyeuristic needs :)

The Meet Up

Hey, can I bring my friend Dave to the meet up tonight?

Sure, what instrument does he play?

The gun.

via ooliquidnightoo 

GPOYW
Currently my FB profile pic. I’m so obsessed with this fauxlaroid iPhone app it’s almost criminal. Except I’m getting amazing shots of the Dude. Will share soon.

FYI. (via)

So every night/morning, I’m up for those pesky feedings and diaper changes every other hour or so.   And in between those times, I’m laying in bed, cursing my brain for not turning off so I can get some sleep.  I don’t think there’s anything positive a brain can think at 3am.  I can’t do it, I just lay there, furious, thinking every possible horrible thing about myself.  I’m sure it’s doing wonders for my blood pressure. 

But last night wasn’t as bad.  I was thinking over these amazing pictures from Erika’s 10th wedding anniversary Trash The Dress photo session, and thinking how awesome it would be to try it in another 5 years.  But oh, I thought, my dress was far too formal to do that.. grrr, grumble grumble… wait!  What about just the skirt, and some t-shirt that says something witty, like “My Dad Went To Dallas And All I Got Was This T-Shirt,” maybe “Vote For Pedro” (a staple of 2005, ahhhh).  Or something classy, whatever.  How fun would that be?!  And how awesome would it be if I could fit in that thing in another 5 years?!

I loved the skirt of my wedding dress.  All these gathers and tucks with white roses inside for the temple ceremony, and then red ones added for the reception.

Oh, I felt like a princess in that skirt, it was heavenly!  And all my bridesmaids, friends and family had hidden charms in the tucks that they didn’t reveal to me until after the ceremony - they all had these personal meanings from our relationships, and then they all put them on a necklace for me.  So.  Dang. Cute.  I’d love to get to slip that puppy on again, just for the memory of how divine it felt to feel the layers swish around my ankles as I danced.

I lay there smiling for the first time at 4am in days, thinking how fun that would be.  But then I remembered my groom isn’t the kind of guy who would be willing to do that with me.  That’s a side of my personality - the Ethel Merman part - he usually outsources to my friends, which has worked for him.  He also said I can’t pull off pink hair.  And that thought made me get cranky again (remember, 4am and all)… until I came up with the perfect solution. 

Stunt double.

I’d settle for Rowan Atkinson. *geek swoon*  Anyone have his phone number?!?!

And with that thought, I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up again half an hour later.  Grrrrr.

From the moment WG was born, she’s blinded everyone with her star power. Every excitable Brasilian woman who demanded to hold her, every old man at the store she insisted on flirting with, every random stranger who crosses her path gives me the same line - “you have a star on your hands!”. She practically sparkles, and did from one.

But this little Dude - I’m not taken by glitz, but kindness. He screams only when he needs something, and the rest of the time is spent wiggling and giggling. I lean over his face for hours a a day, marveling at how sweet and just plain nice he is. And coaxing him to laugh. It’s a delightful hobby.

I adore my star. I didn’t think I could love someone as much as the little girl I call Sunshine. So the heavens sent me something completely different. A Dude of the sweet variety.

Fail.

(viaapplearts)

heh. heh heh. HAHAHAHA!!!

This made me literally do that LOL think all the kids are talking about.  Really, just typing those three letters made me throw up a little in my mouth, but honestly I DID laugh out loud.  So I gotsta keep it real.

Cracked.com did a funny spread called -

The World of Tomorrow (If The Internet Disappeared Today)

and the last picture was comedy gold.

And people, if you do have the need to RickRoll your friends, Literally RickRoll them.

*snicker*  See?  I’m still doing that.. guh, I can’t type those 3 letters.  I’m actually laughing out loud!  (see kids??  It didn’t take that much more effort to type out all the letters!)

Reason #62 Having That Second Kid Was A Good Idea:
Suddenly, after a lifetime of flat-as-a-pancake hair (excluding the teenage perm years) I have hair with some waves. I don’t know how it happened, but it’s really helping me love this little boy even more. He brings joy, smiles, and the hair I’ve always dreamed of?? Love.

GPOYW

Yes, I bottle feed. I wish things were different, but I’ve made peace with it. So why do strangers ask me at least once a week if I’m nursing? And when I say no, for medical reasons, they look at me like I’m the most pitiable woman on earth? Why for pete’s sake would you ask a stranger that? I don’t want to give them a snappy comeback, but maybe a pamphlet called “Why Not To Ask Strangers About The Status Of Their Boobs.” Just sayin’.

The soundtrack of my day.

The soundtrack of my day.

Besides the hoopla and travels, I had two requests for my birthday.  A subscription to Family Fun magazine, and a dress from Shabby Apple.  A bit pricier than I usually go for dresses, but FANTABULOUS.  I actually go to their website everyday and drool.  Well-made, classic and modest, they are dresses a tall girl like me can wear without extra camisoles or extender slips - just classy.  I searched the website for months to see what dress would I get if I could, and picked this one.  And then drooled at it every day for 6 more months before I told Husband I Had To Have It.  Please.

He balked a bit at the price, but in the end told me MAYBE I’d get it.  If I stopped yapping about it.  Fast forward to the night before we left for Chicago - I was packing for the trip and had tried on every nice dress/skirt I own and nothing fit my 2-months postpartum bod.  Everything looked like I was actually hurting the clothes with my extra girth around the middle.  I was nearing hysteria, when Husband walked in and tossed a package on the bed.  From Shabby Apple.  But I was too afraid to be excited - what if it didn’t fit??  I’d probably go catatonic.  Tried it on with trepedation… and … HOLY CRAP, I DIDN’T LOOK FAT!!  I LOOKED GOOD!!  IT FIT, IT WAS LONG ENOUGH, HUGGED MY BODY JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE ME LOOK CUTE BUT NOT TOO TIGHT!!!!!!  IT’S FREAKING MAGICAL, LIKE THOSE TRAVELING PANTS!!!

This is one of the only pictures I have of me in said dress, because I was so busy spinning around in glee to take a decent shot.  But holy snap, it makes me feel AMAZING.   Totally worth it.  Dear Shabby Apple, thank you for making me feel human again!!  And dear Husband, You. Rock.

Okay, so I have been completely wrapped up in the drama that is me making a mountain out of my 30th birthday. We are all 1. aware of this, and 2. sick of it. And yet my amazing SIL Jane - who had a birthday just the day before - found the time to post the sweetest ode to yours truly, to remind me I can never consider myself OLD if I’m this blasted immature.

Happy birthday Jane!!!!!

Happy 30 years of being alive

So this is much later than usual, I usually hit this on my actual birthday but I was out of town, soaking up retail civilization as much as possible and enjoying my wee family.  I’ve been doing this “Year-In-Review” recap for 9 years now… I’m not even going to go through the archives and see what interesting things I did in years past since they involve stuff like “graduated college” “traveled to Australia or all over Europe” and “was cooler than boring stay-at-home-moms.”  But, a tradition is a tradition so wooooop, here it is:

• Went to Colorado to throw the greatest surprise birthday party EVER for me amazing mutter on her 60th turn around the planet.


• Woke up sick after eating some chocolate and KNEW - yup, I was knocked up with spawn #2 (aka the Dude).


• Got my fancy schmancy red laptop that I spend more time with than my spouse.  But it’s RED.


• Got to be the maid of honor at my girl Dani’s wedding extravaganza!


• Oooo, got my iPhone that may or may not rival the birth of my firstborn as the coolest thing ever.


• Continued gigging with the 2 celtic bands.


• Found out I was having a Dude of the MALE persuasion and got so hysterical they had to send me home from the doctor’s office.  I’m am now slightly less hysterical.


• Husband got laid off, because of my magical uterus that has the power to make that happen each time I am knocked up.


• Headed to San Diego for less than 24 hours to mostly sit in traffic, but to also see my brother get hitched.


• Got to see Death Cab For Cutie in concert, wootwoot!


• Took advantage of the laid-off-ness and took a road trip to Denver to see my parents.


• Did the random single-parenting thing as Husband flew all over the country interviewing for jobs.


• Had my house SERIOUSLY worked on and renovated while I simply sat around pregnant and went to Little Ceasars every day to feed the troops.


• Went to Wisconsin on a fact finding mission after being offered a job there in Iceburg… found out the fact that living in the middle of nowhere will be super creepy.


• Took the job, packed up the house and put it on the market (want a recently awesome-d house in the burbs of Atlanta?!  Cheep!) and left out wonderful family and friends  and bands in the South…


• Lived in an apartment for a month in Baraboo (not kidding on the name) before settling in a lovely home in Iceburg.


• Gave birth to the Dude.


• Labor is the easy part.  Realized that I should be locked in a dungeon for the first 2 weeks post-partum, holy SNAP.


• Amazing sis-in-law Jane was there to cook and wrangle WonderGirl (cook us some dinner, not cook WG), thank the heavens above.


• Got the hang of this 2 kid thing mostly - enough to be able to single-parent it when Husband hits the road for work every other week.


• Grandpa C passed away so Dude and I trekked to California to be with family.  Quite awesome, and sobering experience.


• Celebrated WonderGirl’s 3rd birthday in style.  I love me some WonderGirl.


• On the eve of hitting 30, Husband packed up the whole family to take us to Chicago (ie, a big city with civilized things like Targets and Children’s Museums and Wendy’s restaurants).  He.  Is.  Awesome.

I was freaking about 30 all year long… we are all quite aware of this, but at the last second Husband swooped in for the touchdown and made my day so great that I feel like I could do another 30 if I’ve got someone this wonderful to do it with.  After one of the early morning feedings on my birthday, he slipped back into bed, wrapped his arms around me and whispered “Happy birthday!”  It makes all the insanity of my present life worth it.

He said we could do whatever I wanted for my birthday. Heh. Next up, hot dogs and Target. So far, 30 isn’t so bad.

On our way to Chicago. My last day of my twenties. The docket today includes a kiddie play park and the Children’s Museum. Gotta live it up while I can?

GPOYW

I’m less than 48 hours from turning 30. I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in months, and I’m so tired and worn that I look 41. So no pictures for you. Except this - Dude loves it when I tickle him in the face with my hair. It’s pretty much the cutest thing ever. WG used to love it too. So I got that working for me.

Haven’t posted in almost a week.  Reasons why:

1. Sick.  Still.  blegh.

2. Killer birthday party for the WonderGirl.  Crepe paper everywhere, games for all ages, awesomeness had by all.  (I’m in awe of my skillz.)

3. Sis in law, her hubby and 2 girls surprised us for the weekend.  WG got to play  non-stop and was a happy, happy camper.

4.  The Wii came.  Husband decided he needed to make a investment in us keeping sane during the cold months, so this was it.  MY Wii fit age is 40, Husband is 35.   So I’m apparently a cougar.

5. WG IS 3.  I’m in awe.

6.  Have I gotten a decent night’s sleep in 2 months?  Nope, so I’m too tired to think.

Oh, and I turn 30 on Friday.  Not to worry though, Husband has a business meeting in Chicago the day before so we’re making a trip out of it and he even found a babysitter for Friday night so we can go out to eat without the screaming.  So I have things to look forward to, but I’m so tired I can hardly move.  I sure hope I can move again by the time I hit the car for 3 hours with the two kids…

GPOYW - the sick-of-being-sick edition.

random act of awesome

I don’t know if he’d approve of me sharing this, but I’m going to anyway.

Husband is a punk.  Plain and simple.  He doesn’t suffer fools, answers everything honestly to a fault and loves to do the exact opposite of a anything my mother says.  But today at the DMV he did something that perfectly illustrates why I, the most sweet and lovable girl on the planet ended up with punk-face over there.

As we stood there giving our information to the nice government employee (apparently here in the Middle Of Nowhere they actually are nice) so we could get Wisconsin licenses, the employee at the next window was trying to help a hard-of-hearing older couple (I’d estimate around 400?).  “Can you believe that?” said our lady, shaking her head sadly.  “Someone stole that man’s wallet right after they’d cashed their $900 Social Security check.”

My mind - and Husband’s - flashed to our own grandparents, trying to live on fixed incomes and how scary that is.  It wasn’t a few seconds before Husband got those two dimples on his face when he’s trying not to get emotional, walked over to the couple and and handed them his emergency $100 he carries around with him.  He had to explain a few times what it was for, since they both couldn’t hear and couldn’t believe someone would be that giving.

He’s never had an emergency himself, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him give his emergency money to someone who needed it more than him.  Yes, he’s a punk on the outside.  And a few layers in, too.  But he’s got a good, gooey center.  And that, besides the fact that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, is why I married him.

Daniel Tosh on why men are better than women. it’s insanely sexist, but the first time I saw it on Tosh.0 I couldn’t stop laughing. The second time I saw it was while we were channel surfing during my first hour of labor at the hospital with the Dude (it was about 3 hours total). It was… surreal. I was nervous that my midwife would notice and get mad, but luckily I had a major contraction and distracted everyone. Dang it’s awful… but …. can’t … stop … giggling …

[youtube=[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ov-g59wMivc&hl=en&fs=1&]]

I could so use one of these.  Pouring out the Dude’s formula into a bottle in the wee hours - with only one arm, since the other is holding said Dude and bouncing him up and down to possibly stop the screaming or at least lower the volume level.. produces less than stellar aim.

Dang I’m tired.

(via applearts:Interior design room)

This weekend was General Conference for our church - twice a year we get to watch a broadcast of the prophet and apostles giving talks, amazing lessons and hope.  I always end up wanting to be better, and with a few new ideas on how to do that.  The people before me are ones that gave up careers and all income so they could spend their lives teaching and serving others, and I’m always touched by their compassion for people of every circumstance - reminding them that you have never gone so far that you can’t come back.  I feel loved.

Dang I like being a Mormon.

eye of the tigger

For my impending 30th birthday (oh flippin’ joy) Husband decided to gift me 30 songs in iTunes since I actually own a shockingly small amount if music - most of my CDs are symphonies and sonatas I was learning in school and weird violin jazz.  So I have to decide on 30 tunes, and I think I should collect 30 songs that pump me up and get me all hyped up when I’m down. 

I’m looking for suggestions.  Here are some samples of songs that make me hop up and down and dance:

Talking Heads : Once In a Lifetime

Frou Frou : Let Go

All American Rejects : Move Along, Swing Swing (and that new tune with the naughty lyrics… AWESOME, just can’t play it around WonderGirl or she’d repeat ‘em at church)

Jamiroquai : Canned Heat

Sergio Mendez and the Brazil 66 : um ANYTHING they do

ABBA : again, YES

So, what makes you go get your groove on??

(via thefutureofhistory,cakeface,yourpalmal)